Alice in Earth
by nevergrowup97
Summary: Named by herself after a fictional children's story, Alice is about to fall through a rabbit hole of epic proportions. When she finds herself on a radiation filled Earth, she thinks nothing could be worse than the experimentation rooms on the Arc, but she could be wrong...
1. Episode 1 Part 1

You've been given a second chance…. No idea what is waiting for you down there….

Expendable… Second chance… Records wiped clean… Waiting for you… Expendable…

A sharp pain burst through my skull as a muddled voice droned above the hum of an engine. I fought against the heavy weight of my eyelids, struggling to lift my head. My racing heart skipped a beat as I finally pushed past the haze to find I was tied down. Or rather, strapped in. A red safety belt crossed along my chest so tightly my desperate gasps for air were cut short by nearly two inches.

The blurred figures surrounding me transformed to reveal people. Teenagers. Strapped in the same constricting belts as I was. They cast a few curious glances my way then turned towards the monitors hanging on the walls around the small cabin we had all been crowded into. Murmurs sounded from every seat, all too quiet and muffled to make out any clear conversations, but I managed to discern a few extremely unnerving words... Dead... Crash... Toxic... Earth...

On the screen, a middle-aged man with dark caramel skin stood stiffly, "Before the last war, Mount Weather was a military base built within a mountain. It was to be stocked with enough non-perishables to sustain 300 people for up to two years."

I helplessly tugged at the choking belt, nearly hyperventilating. My lightly streaked brown hair was tied back in a ponytail that I had no memory of doing. I could feel the irises of my silver-green eyes pulsing along with the frenzied beat of my heart. This couldn't be possible. I considered every possible explanation but came to only one conclusion. We were being sent to Earth.

"Spacewalk Bandit strikes again!" Three boys unstrapped their belts one after the other and began to float around the room followed by cheers. My belt seemed to be welded together, impossible to even loosen. A blonde girl warned them to strap back in and a small argument broke out. I ignored the conversation and tried to concentrate on the transmission, completely indifferent as to what they were talking about. Idiots.

The man on the screen continued, "Mount Weather is life. You must locate those supplies immediately. Your one responsibility is to stay alive…" The screen cut out unexpectedly as everyone was thrown in their seats.

The shuttle jerked hard, sending the boys flying through the air. The commotion slowed as my fingers began to tingle and my blood ran hot. Just as one of the boys passed across my seat, I could feel the metal connecting my seat belt burst open and without thinking, I clutched the red strap with one hand and reached out to the boy with the other. My hand closed around his arm in a death grip and I was shaken roughly as the entire drop ship began to rattle uncontrollably. The boy was thrown to the ground below me as an unbearably heavy weight pushed down on everyone in the ship.

Shrieks filled the cabin as the air became thick with heat. The violent shaking seemed to last forever. Then, with a bone jarring impact, there was silence. The boy whose arm I had been gripping squirmed. I quickly let go and wiped at the blood now running down my nose. The boy shakily rose to his hands and knees, then looked to me in shock.

"Listen." A breathless exclamation sounded somewhere nearby.

I didn't haven't to avoid the boy's intense and questioning stare for long as a silent awe filled the room. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins along with the ragged breaths of the others.

"No machine hum." Someone said.

"Woah. That's a first." A boy whispered.

Seat belts simultaneously clicked as everyone began to stand from their seats, unsure of what to do or where to go, but clearly wanting to get off of the ship. I stood, shaking, and gasping for air. I needed to get away from all these people. It was too overwhelming. I spotted an open latch leading down to the bottom of the drop ship and headed for the opening, but my gaze was momentarily drawn to the injured boys lying motionless on the ground.

"Finn, is he breathing?" The blonde girl called from a few seats away as she rushed to one of the boys lying on the ground. The boy I had caught, Finn, turned towards the corner where the second boy had been flung. He raced to his side and checked his pulse, then looked to the girl with a stricken face. They were both dead.

My breath caught as I quickly turned away and started down the ladder.

"The other door is on the lower level. Let's go!" A boy called, following me from above.

"No, we can't just open the doors." I recognized the blonde girls voice again, pleading while climbing down the ladder as well.

I groaned as I fell into the even larger crowd that was forming in the lower level. They surged forward, eager to escape the hot metal room. A tall handsome young man wearing an eerily familiar jacket stood in front of the door and held his hands up authoritatively, "Hey, just back it up guys."

"Stop! The air could be toxic." Blondie pushed through the crowd and confronted the boy head on. I was beginning to think all this girl could do was argue. A small part of me agreed with her though. She seemed to know what she was doing more than any of us, anyways.

"If the air is toxic we're all dead anyway." The boy answered annoyed and turned back to open the door. Good point there.

"Bellamy?" A confused and tired voice sounded above the murmurs and froze the boy in his tracks. I turned to see a pretty girl with long dark hair break through the crowd and approach the boy.

"That's the girl they hid under the floor." The scrawny boy next to me whispered rather loudly.

"My God, look how big you are." A surprisingly warm smile crossed the rough looking Bellamy's face as he affectionately hugged the girl.

"What the hell are you wearing? A guard's uniform?" The hug was broken as the girl questioningly looked over Bellamy. My heart dropped as I finally recognized the jacket. A guard?

"I borrowed it to get on the drop ship. Someone's gotta keep an eye on you." I let out a silent breath of relief as they hugged again. A guard was the last thing I needed at the moment.

"Where's your wrist band?" The blonde girl interrupted their reunion. For the first time I noticed that everyone had large silver wrist bands on their right hands. I looked down to my own wrist and, sure enough, felt a familiar dull pain that had only just began to register. We were all being monitored.

"Do you mind? I haven't seen my brother in a year." The girl turned to Blondie, annoyed.

"No one has a brother!" The same scrawny boy sounded off.

"That's Octavia Blake! The girl they found living in the floor!" A wave of laughter sounded through the crowd as a girl disdainfully commented on Bellamy's sister.

Octavia started to lunge, pure anger in her face, but Bellamy grabbed her, "Octavia no!"

I rolled my eyes as the scrawny kid snickered and whispered something incredibly crude. I raised my leg and kicked his own out from underneath him. The crowd immediately parted, with several curious glares settling right on me and the boy moaning on the ground beside me. I momentarily met eyes with Bellamy Blake, he looked about as shocked as I felt, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"Hey, why don't you give them something else to remember you by?" I nodded to Octavia, sounding way more calm than I felt.

"Yeah, like what?" Somehow I felt an unspoken connection to the girl. We had both been hidden away our entire lives.

"Like being the first person on the ground in 100 years." I smiled and glanced at the lever behind Bellamy. The two siblings turned to each other and smiled, then he pulled the lever and the door burst open.

A painfully bright light exploded through the room, causing everyone to take a simultaneous step back. As the brightness faded, a wonderful breeze blew in through the crowd. My lungs contracted and I could breathe clearly for the first time in my entire life. There was green everywhere. Tall trees spiraled into the air. The sky looked infinite. Full of possibilities.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, yet I found my gaze drawn to the mysterious Bellamy, whose loving eyes never left Octavia as she cautiously stepped further down the ramp. She paused as she reached the edge of the ramp and everyone stilled. Then she jumped to the ground.

"We're back bitches!" Octavia raised her hands into the air, prompting cheers from everyone. People rushed from both sides of me, entering the forest without a second thought. My mind was ready to be whisked away into the endless green, but my feet kept planted to the ship.

I looked to my left to find the blonde girl in a similar situation. Trying to take it all in at once. "Nothing would be what it was…" I murmured a quote from an old childhood story. The girl tilted her head, staring at me curiously.

"I'm Clarke." She nodded in greeting and offered a smile.

"I'm… Alice." I spoke the name before thinking. It had been so long since I had chosen it and imagined it to be my true name. I had almost forgotten.

"Care to check something out?" Clarke approached the edge of the ramp and jumped down. She took a moment to savor her first steps on Earth, then looked back at me in question. I nodded yes and jumped down beside her.

I was surprised as my feet landed on soft ground, sinking in. Our landing had created what looked like a war zone, sending trees flying everywhere and setting small fires across the cleared area. None of it seemed to bother anyone as they danced around in joy and slowly began to work up the nerve to venture out further away from the ship. Everyone seemed to be high on fresh oxygen, and although I wasn't joining in their celebration, I could feel the excitement in the air, along with the fear.

Clarke led us to a small opening and I lost my breathe once again. Before us stood a cluster of enormous mountains. I had only seen pictures before and they definitely had not prepared me for this, but Clarke seemed too distracted to recognize the beauty as she pulled out a map. I had no idea where it had come from or how she had gotten it, but I was glad I had chosen to follow the girl with a map.

I truly looked at her for the first time. Her disheveled blonde hair was beginning to fall from it's braid, but it only made her blue eyes shine brighter. She wore the same similarly ragged clothes as everyone else, which brought my attention to what I was wearing. I hadn't really been paying too much attention since I had woken up strapped down to a ship crashing through space.

My attire was nothing like the stiff white gowns I had become accustomed to on the Arc. I wore a loose black long sleeve shirt and cargo pants with combat boots. I immediately pulled the sleeves down as low as possible to cover the bruises and needle marks. A small gasp escaped my lips as I felt the fabric. I turned to Clarke, thankful she hadn't noticed. They were definitely old clothes, but they felt like satin compared to what I was used to. I noticed that I had not been afforded a jacket like most everyone else, but it didn't bother me, I was used to the cold.

My toes curled in the constricting boots. Believe it or not, I had never worn shoes before. It was an extremely unnerving and strange feeling. Yet, somehow, it was empowering. It was a symbol of my freedom. I could go anywhere now. First, I had to figure out where that would be.

"Why so serious, Princess? It's not like we died in a fiery explosion." I turned to come face to face with a smirking Finn. He looked straight ahead, but he was clearly speaking to Clarke. His dark eyes lit in amusement and his long brown hair hung down just above his chin.

"Try telling that to the two guys who tried to follow you out of their seats." Clarke retorted angrily. I winced, remembering all too well.

"You don't like being called Princess, do you Princess?" I could feel the tension between the two, and decided it better to keep out of it.

"Do you see that peak over there?" Clarke asked indignantly.

"Yeah."

"Mount Weather. There's a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal. They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain." Clarke stormed away, leaving Finn and I in an uncomfortably awkward silence.

"Really smooth." I snickered at the defeated face he wore, I bet he had never been rejected so devastatingly before. Unfortunately, that remark brought his unwanted attention to me.

"Ah, my hero! I never got a chance to thank you. Name's Finn." He stretched his hand out, waiting for something that never came. Despite his casual demeanor, I could see the sincerity in his face. It seemed that he was very skilled in hiding his emotions through humor, but for some reason he was showing me complete remorse and gratitude for what happened on the ship.

"Yeah, I got that." I looked at the hand speculatively and continued to surprise myself at how nonchalant I was coming off about the whole situation. I guess I was just in shock.

"And you are?" He smiled a devilish smile, prompting an answer.

"Alice." I kept my gaze locked on the mountains in front of us, unwilling to let into his attempts at charm just yet.

"Well Alice, I am forever in your debt muh'lady." He mock bowed, sending locks of hair cascading over his handsome face. There was something so devilishly boyish about the way he said my name. I rolled my eyes and walked back towards the camp.

I stopped just inside the landing site with Finn following close behind me. Low and behold, another argument had broken out. Everyone seemed to have stopped what they were doing and stood apprehensively around the fight.

"Screw your father. What? You think you're in charge here. You and your little Princess?" Octavia bitterly spat the words towards a good-looking dark skinned boy protectively standing in front of Clarke. Bellamy stood silently behind his sister. His thick brown hair was combed back and there was no denying the handsome features in his brown eyes, olive skin, and muscular build.

"Do you think we care who's in charge? We need to get to Mount Weather. Not because the Chancellor said so but because the longer we wait the weaker we'll get and the harder this'll be. How long do you think we'll last without those supplies. We're looking at a 20 mile trek, ok? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave now." Clarke pleaded once again for reasoning. I highly doubted she was going to find it there.

"I got a better idea. You two go find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change." Bellamy spoke with the same resentment as Octavia. A sound of agreement passed through the crowds and the entire ambiance of the conversation turned dark.

"You're not listening. We all need to go." The son of the Chancellor refuted, but was cut short as a different boy stepped forward, shoving him in agitation.

"Look at this everybody, the Chancellor of Earth!" The boy circled him, chiding. This was going nowhere fast.

"You think that's funny?" Clarke's supporter challenged the boy. In return, the boy ducked down and threw him to the ground.

"Wells!" Clarke cried, starting forward to help him up, but was stopped by another boy standing beside her. Judging by the worry on her face, Wells and Clarke must have known each other long before this.

"No, but that was." The angry boy stood over Wells, waiting for him to stand. As Wells scrambled to his feet, the two circled, preparing to fight. I noticed he was favoring one foot, he must have been injured in the crash. No one else seemed to notice, or care for that matter, they all began to chant, cheering the fight on.

This boy, Wells, was the son of the Chancellor, a faceless man who had filled my nightmares for the better part of my life. I had never seen him of course, only knew that he was part of the reason I was locked away. And now the reason I was here, on Earth.

I sighed and stepped forward, placing myself between the two boys, "Kid's got one leg. Why don't you wait until it's a fair fight?" Let's hope the apple fell very far from the tree if I was going to call attention to myself and stand up for Wells.

"What about you then?" The boy stepped forward, bringing us so close we were almost touching noses. He had a very bitter look to his face, that otherwise would have been attractive if not for the malice.

"Wouldn't you like to figure out." I stood unmoving, this kid didn't know what he was asking for. The air grew static, sending my nerves tingling. A fight never occurred though, as Finn ever so dramatically jumped down from some pipes sticking out of the ship and put his hands on both our shoulders.

"I think we're done here." He locked eyes with the angry boy and they stood there battling with their eyes. Boys. All talk.

"Hey, Spacewalker, rescue me next!" Octavia stepped forward smiling. The angry mob ebbed to a sizzle as everyone laughed and found something else to entertain themselves. I gave her a grateful nod for diffusing the situation harmlessly. Bellamy, on the other hand, looked disappointed in his sister's obvious flirtation.

"What? He's cute." Octavia said simply. I averted my gaze, feeling like an intruder in their little sibling engagement.

"He's a criminal." Bellamy retorted.

"They're all criminals."

Bellamy grabbed her arm and pulled her away, "Look, O. I came down here to protect you."

"I don't need protecting. I've been locked up one way or another all my life. I am done following orders. I need to have fun, Bell. I need to just do something crazy just because I can, and no one, including you, is gonna stop me." Harsh, but I could completely understand where she was coming from.

"I can't stay with them, O."

"Now what are you talking about."

I slipped behind a nearby tree as Bellamy pulled her farther away from the camp and lowered his voice, "I did something, ok, to get on the drop ship, something that they will kill me for when they come down. I can't say what it is just yet, but you have to trust me. You still do trust me, don't you?"

"Yeah."

Before their conversation could end and they spot me eavesdropping, I slipped away with even more questions than before. There was so much I didn't know. So much I had to learn about this new world. More so the people in it than the actual planet. I had quickly learned in my short life that people could be very dangerous.

It seemed I had been sent down to Earth with a ship full of criminals. Not that it took much to become a criminal on the Arc. Bellamy wasn't meant to be on the ship, which led me to conclude that he wasn't a delinquent, or at least he hadn't been caught. He had risked certain death for Octavia, and that was fairly decent in my book, however, the warning he had just given her regarding his fate led me to believe he hadn't accomplished this by honorable means. I felt a twinge of jealousy as I remembered just how lonely it felt to have no one willing to stand up for you.

"So, Mount Weather." Finn spoke as I approached him standing over Clarke as she tended to Well's leg.

I knew I was going to regret it later, but I volunteered, "When do we leave?"

Clarke nodded in appreciation then answered, "Right now. We'll be back tomorrow with food."

Wells proposed an interesting question, "How are the three of you gonna carry enough food for 100?"

Finn smiled and turned to grab two dorky guys I recognized from the ship, Monty and Jasper if I wasn't mistaken. Monty was fairly short with tan skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Jasper, on the other hand, was a tall skinny boy with shaggy brown hair and eyes, and he wore a large pair of goggles on his head.

"Sounds like a party. Make it six" Octavia joined the small group and I couldn't help but smile at the pitiful party of misfits we had banded together.

Bellamy was behind Octavia in seconds, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Going for a walk." Octavia was becoming more defiant by the minute.

Before Bellamy could explode with anger, Clarke grabbed Finn's damaged wristband, "Hey, were you trying to take this off?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So, this wristband transmits your vital signs to the Arc. Take it off and they'll think you're dead." Clarke seemed almost desperate. A decisive thought came to mind, I had to get my own transmitter off. They had to think I was dead. I didn't know what I would do after that, but it was enough for me just to take it one thing at a time. I kept my face painfully neutral. Bellamy, on the other hand, seemed to already be developing a plan that I couldn't quite discern.

"Should I care?" Finn asked coldly. It seemed Clarke was the only person on the ship that didn't hold a grudge against the Arc.

"Well, I don't know. Do you want the people you love to think you're dead? Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Because they won't if they think we're dying." Finn slowly lowered his head in agreement, "Ok, now let's go."

I found myself desperately searching for a plan. The wrist band had to go, one way or another, if I ever wanted to survive. Clarke didn't know how useful her outburst would be to me if I was ever going to make it. I now knew I had two months. Two months to escape my fate.

The others started to head out. I stood behind, waiting for Clarke, but found myself accidentally catching Bellamy and Octavia hugging. She kissed him on the cheek and followed the others. I caught Bellamy's worried eyes for only a second and I hoped he could read my expression. I would watch over Octavia. He nodded in understanding and something I couldn't quite recognize crossed over his face.

I turned and caught up to Clarke who was walking away from a distraught looking Wells. With merely a look, there was an unspoken agreement not to mention the strange chemistry between the two. As we caught up to Octavia, she warned, "Before you two get any ideas, Finn is mine."

I snorted as Clarke replied, "Before you get any ideas, I don't care." I had to hand it to Octavia for not letting the whole life and death situation get to her. Like she said, she was finally free and she wasn't going to let anything ruin that. Neither was I.

Clarke increased her pace, leaving Octavia and I behind, "I swear that girl's got a stick up her ass." Octavia said it just loud enough for Clarke to hear, but she kept walking, unaffected.

"So what's your story. Thanks for kicking that asshole in the ship, by the way."

"I'm Alice." Was all I offered, but she didn't pry.

"Octavia." She curtsied and busted out laughing, drunk with freedom. Nothing could bring this girl down.

We caught up to Monty and Jasper and Octavia skipped ahead, obviously trying to get closer to Finn. I fell into step with the two boys, "So Alice, how come we've never seen you before?" Jasper smiled and nudged Monty.

"I've… been locked up for a long time." It was a lame excuse, I know. But it was pretty much the truth. Thankfully, the two were too distracted by Octavia and Finn up ahead to notice any suspicion in my explanation.

"Now, that, my friends, is game." Jasper put his arm around Monty and looked approvingly to Finn who was sticking a strange purple flower behind Octavia's ear. They looked so giddy and care-free to just have crash landed on a potentially toxic planet.

"That, my friend, is poison sumac." Monty replied between snickers. I nervously crossed my arms against my chest. Despite it's beauty, the mossy forest screamed danger.

The others walked on as they discussed how they had landed a one way ticket to Earth. I slowly fell back but stayed close behind. My chest constricted as the shock of everything began to wear off. They thought the situation was bad. They had no idea.

As Clarke spoke, her concerns of radiation poisoning sent me over the edge. Radiation. Flashes of an empty bright room and beeping monitors seared my eyes. The others were too distracted to notice that the forest had stilled. I could feel the air grow stale and hear the trees creak under pressure. It went as fast as it had come as I felt blood trickle from my nose and into my mouth. I wiped at the blood in habit as my head exploded with pain. Thankfully, the blood was camouflaged by my dark sleeve, now clammy with the sweat of my palms.

As the cloud surrounding my mind passed, I gratefully found that no one had noticed my little incident, in fact, they were all crouching behind a bush. I silently approached and gasped at what had caught their attention. A majestic deer stood in the middle of an open clearing. I marveled at the beauty of its lean and strong body.

I remembered reading as many books as I could get my hand on in the miserable fluorescent lights of my small room. They weren't actually books with paper and covers like they used to be, but strange virtual codes that could be listened to on a small handheld device. One had been about a young orphaned fawn and the moment I saw the creature standing before me I knew it was the same as the little Bambi I had grown to love.

And then there was its head. Or should I say, heads. One fully formed, then another less developed grotesquely attached to the side. I couldn't help but admire it. Though it was nothing like the cartoon illustrations of Bambi, I saw something vaguely familiar in its eyes. A fellow freak.

"No animals, huh?" Finn whispered in amazement, advancing towards the grazing deer. As he stepped on a twig, it snapped in two, scaring the deer and causing it to run into the shelter of the trees beside the clearing.


	2. Episode 1 Part 2

The Arc is dying. Clarke's blunt words rang through my head. Of course I knew it would happen eventually, that's why I had been hidden away my whole life. Treated like an animal. Worse than an animal actually.

Clarke had intended to let the people know of the ship's failure, and that's why she was here now. She had gone against the Council's wishes and was put in prison for it. Her father was killed for trying do the same. I felt sorry for her, she had people to lose, and she knew what it felt like when that happened. All I had was the empty feeling of never being loved, at least I had never felt the aching despair of losing someone, the feeling that I could clearly see on Clarke's face as she relived her memories.

I had walked ahead during their conversation, not wanting to hear any more. My fingers itched as something unbelievably fresh wafted up into my nostrils. Something crisp and clean, like nothing I had ever smelt before. I soon saw what had sparked the attention of my nose as a soft breeze rolled by and my ears registered the sound of running water. Before me lay a fixture of rocks leading to what could only be a small river.

I looked back to make sure the others were still close by and ventured further. It was a beautiful sparkling green. I had never seen so much water in my life. I leaned down and ran my hand through the chilly water. It felt so smooth and pure. A new beginning.

A shuffle from behind startled me from my own thoughts and I looked to see Octavia jumping up and down excitedly. Then she began to take her pants off. I averted my eyes back to the water, completely lost as to what to do.

"Octavia, what the hell are you doing?" Clarke squeaked as the others approached and was returned only with a smile from Octavia as she turned to jump into the water, splashing water onto my feet.

The others ran to stand beside me, surprised half with fear and half with excitement, "Octavia, we can't swim!" Monty exclaimed.

"No, but we can stand." Octavia smiled as she rose in the water, her shirt soaking wet.

"Wait, there's not supposed to be a river here." Clarke spoke up, always cautious.

"Well there is, so take off your damn clothes." Finn, Monty, and Jasper were already starting to strip. I rolled my eyes and sat on the rocks, enjoying the beauty of the river.

I looked into the distance, trying to see anything that might help us get across, a break in the river or something. And that's when I saw it. A huge ripple in the water, moving fast and heading toward us. I scrambled up and inched toward the edge of the rocks, "Octavia get out of the water!" I yelled.

"Get out the water now!" Before anyone could react the ripple reached Octavia and threw her into the air, causing her to scream before being drug back under water. For what felt like hours nothing happened, and then Octavia sprung from the water, screaming for her life. I rushed to the edge of the water and without a second thought, jumped in.

From a distance I could hear the muffled voices of Clarke and the others, Clarke stopped Finn from jumping in after me and suggested they distract it. I pushed forward, trying to remember all the times I had wished I could swim like the Little Mermaid in Hans Christian Andersen's story, in the open ocean with nobody tying me up or forcing me down. Of course, she had a fin, but I had a lot of time on my hands and I formulated my own hypothesis of what swimming would be like. It seemed pretty simple at the time, but as water surrounded me and filled my lungs, I was second guessing myself.

I swung my arms and kicked my legs in desperation and was surprised to find myself actually moving. Just as I reached Octavia, I heard a large crack, followed by a splash and a few small bangs as Clarke and the others pushed a large rock into the water, desperately trying to divert the water creature's attention.

I threw my hand out and gasped in surprise as it met Octavia's slick arm. I closed my hand around her arm with all my strength and felt as she grabbed my shoulder, dragging me along with her as the creature swung around. My heart dropped as I realized their distraction hadn't worked. In an instant my free hand reached out, coming into contact with head of the scaly monster right next to its jaws which held Octavia by the leg.

The all too familiar sensation pulsed out from my heart and through my arm, compacting with its skin and sending a strong vibration through the water. The creature let go of Octavia and quickly swam away. She screamed, still in shock and flailing her arms about, making it very hard to hold both her and myself up.

I ignored the excruciating throb in my head and wrapped my arm around Octavia, "Octavia! Octavia! I'm here, calm down. We need to get to the shore." I tried to calm her down, beginning to hyperventilate myself.

"Over here." Clarke called several feet away from the edge of the rocks. I pushed with all of my strength and we only moved a couple of inches.

"It's coming back!" Finn yelled in warning.

My skin crawled as I could hear it slicing through the water heading for us. Blood rose in the water and I knew it was mine as well as Octavia's, hopefully no one would notice. What would my secret matter if we died anyway? We were so close that with one last push I shoved Octavia onto a rock and climbed up myself. Just as I looked down, I saw as the creature swam past us and back into the depths of the water.

I pulled us both a little farther from the edge of the rock and collapsed. Octavia seemed to be hyperventilating and as the others ran to join us, I noticed where the monster had grabbed her, leaving a large bite mark the size of my hand in her leg. Clarke immediately crouched down to survey the damage, pulling a strip of material from the bottom of Jasper's shirt. As she worked to tie off the wound, Octavia grabbed me into a tight hug, thanking me.

"You're gonna be ok." Clarke assured Octavia.

"Hey Alice, way to make us all look bad." Monty cracked, patting my head. I just breathed and smiled along with Jasper, Clarke, and Finn, happy that we were all alive.

In truth, I had my own personal reasons for doing it. I wasn't going to let Octavia die after she just got her freedom. She deserved more than that.

I laid back down on my back, trying to catch my breath. Now that it was over, I could reflect on what I had just done. Note to self, water creatures are not cute and cuddly. The Little Mermaid was right to want legs.

Soon Octavia was patched up as best as Clarke could manage with what little supplies we brought and had her pants back on, much to the boys dismay. It was quickly decided to head back into the woods and rest for the night. There was no way anyone was crossing that river anytime soon and Octavia refused to return to the camp until we found the supplies. Everyone took a spot and sat in silence, too stunned by the recent events to talk. Jasper and Monty sat close together nervously cracking jokes every once and a while, and Finn stayed near Clarke for the most part, trying to help with Octavia's wound as best he could. I took a spot a slight ways away from everyone, in need of a little privacy. After a life of nearly complete solitude, I wasn't used to all the companionship, however bad of an excuse they were for companions.

As the sun began to set, they all began to nod off, their energy from the adrenaline filled day ebbing away. I myself could not sleep, I had been doing it for nearly half of my life. Consequently, I was elected to take first watch. Sometimes I dreamt myself to be Sleeping Beauty on the Arc. After all, I had been pricked by a needle of sorts and put to sleep for a long time. I had only just recently woken up, and believe me, it was no prince who was waiting for me.

As the sun finally set, I couldn't help but gasp. The forest I had begun to think was truly evil incarnate became the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was as if it came alive, glowing in the dark with radiation. Of all the horrible things radiation had caused, somehow this beautiful forest had made something good of it. I silently got up, careful not to wake anyone, and walked further into the glowing forest.

I could hear the running water of the river in the distance, along with what I could only imagine to be insects and various other wildlife. It was amazing. So much better than the hum of machines and engines we were all used to. For the first time, I felt calm, like everything might just turn out okay for me. For all of us.

I ran my hand along a glowing mushroom growing from a tree and jumped as the tips of my fingers seemed to absorb the glowing substance from the mushroom. The blue light spread towards my upper arm, then receded back to my fingertips and disappeared. I looked back at the mushroom as it slowly regained its glow.

"Wow." I jumped a second time as Octavia approached me from behind, limping. I hid my hand behind my back and smiled nervously.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" She asked, seemingly oblivious to my little light show.

"Uh, yeah." I replied lamely.

"Do you think it's dangerous?"

"What would we do if it was?"

"Good point."

I looked down at my feet, not much for conversation. I only had one person to talk to on the Arc, and they had turned out to be the biggest disappointment in my life, and that was really saying something, considering.

"Back there, in the water… I just wanted to say thank you again." Octavia fortunately didn't seem to suffer the same antisocial struggles as myself.

"Anyone would have done the same thing. Besides, how awful would it be for you to finally get your freedom then die?" I regretted the words as soon as they came out and winced, waiting for her answer.

To my surprise, Octavia laughed, "Yeah, that would totally suck. Wouldn't want to die a virgin."

My eyes widened, I didn't know much about the whole sex thing, but what I did know was enough to convince me it wasn't as casual as Octavia was making it out to be.

"I take it you're in the same position." It wasn't a question.

"There wasn't much time for… you know… where I was." I answered.

"About that, you seem different than the others. Not really delinquent material if you know what I mean." She nudged my shoulder, smiling.

My heart felt as if it were about to rip out of my chest, had I really been that different? Already questions were being asked. However, Octavia seemed to be much more perceptive than she let on. Faces of disgust flashed through my mind, directed towards me. Until I could find a way out, no one could know who I was.

"Don't sweat it. I won't tell your secret." Octavia smiled. I knew she was joking, yet I couldn't dispel the small nag at the back of my mind.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Time to get your shit together Alice. I faked a laugh and nudged her back.

"Let's go back to the others before they wake up and think we've gone missing." I grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the glowing trees. Thankfully, no one had woken, still lying peacefully under the trees. I helped Octavia down onto the ground and hid my reluctance as she held my arm in hers, forcing me to settle down next to her. I won't admit that deep down my heart ached a little. No one had treated me like this in a long time.

"Night, Alice." Octavia muttered, already nodding off onto my shoulder.

"Goodnight, Octavia." I said, even though she was already asleep. I leaned my head against the tree we had sat in front of and looked into the star-filled sky above...

After everyone had woken at the peak of dawn, Clarke fussed over Octavia once more before we all headed off to look for a way across the river. Although Monty had once again suggested we go back to camp and come another time, Clarke had insisted that we continue on. Octavia now leaned on Jasper as we walked down the edge of the river.

After several minutes of silent walking, Finn exclaimed, "Look!" Pointing to a large vine hanging from a tree, Finn eagerly climbed up a pile of rocks and yanked on the growth.

"Anyone up for a swing?" He asked happily.

"Are you kidding me?" Clarke asked in disbelief, "There is no way that's going to work!"

"Speak for yourself." Jasper transferred Octavia to me and climbed the rocks up after Finn. Boys.

I vaguely remembered a wild man named Tarzan in the books I read who swung from vines to travel through the jungle. I smirked as I imagined Finn and Jasper in loincloths swinging from a vine.

For a moment, the two boys giddily discussed who would go first and how they would do it. Finn eventually won the argument and prepared to go first. He pulled on the vine and stared at the lake, then at the trees, then the sky.

"You wanted to go first. Now quit stalling" Clarke teased Finn smiling, "Mount Weather awaits."

"Just hang on until the apogee and you'll be fine." Jasper assured Finn.

"The apogee. Like the Indians right?" Finn joked nervously.

"Apogee, not Apache." Jasper retorted.

"He knows. Today Finn." Clarke warned, joking. I think.

"Aye, aye Captain." Finn saluted and pulled on the rope, testing it, then turned to Jasper, "See you on the other side."

Just as he was about to do it, Jasper called, "Wait!"

"What?"

"Let me." I rolled my eyes. He was obviously trying to show off for the females of the group. Maybe there really was no hope for humanity.

A tingle ran down my spine and the smile was instantly wiped off my face. I looked across the river, straining to see. I could only faintly hear the others as they encouraged Jasper. Something wasn't right. I turned to stop Jasper just as he jumped, flying across the river.

He yelled in excitement as he sailed across, then landed rather ungracefully on the other side. My heart pounded as a ringing sounded in my ears. Everyone cheered and Finn handed the vine he had snagged to Clarke and encouraged her. I watched Jasper cautiously as he crouched down, looking at something that had caught his eye on the ground.

Jasper raised a strange piece of metal into the air and yelled, "We did it! Mount Weather!" I couldn't make out what was on the sign, but somehow it assured the others that we had made it. Everyone sighed in relief, but my heart stopped as the wind stilled, sending a chill down my body all the way to the end of my toes.

The spear went straight through his chest at an almost unimaginable speed. I couldn't breath as the others gasped in disbelief. Jasper was thrown back several feet, his eyes wide open in shock, staring at the huge spear gaping from his body.

Everyone panicked, calling his name, but I stood still, desperately searching the trees for the source of the spear. Finn grabbed Clarke as she screamed for Jasper and pulled her away and towards cover, "Come on. Move it."

Finn led the way and we followed, I grabbed Octavia and ran with her, helping her as much as I could. It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other.

"Get down, get down." I pulled us all behind a large rock and stopped dead in my tracks as I heard rustling in the woods. Someone was out there.

"We're not alone." I gasped.


	3. Episode 2 Part 1

_I desperately struggled against the fogginess clouding my head. I only had so much time before she returned. If I could just wake up, maybe I could make it out. Then I would finally be free. Free from the pain that I could feel coursing through my veins. With my eyes still forced shut, I shakily gasped a dry heave of air into my parched mouth and tried to swallow, but couldn't. Every joint in my body felt as if it had been dislocated and put into a shredder._

_After years of blind cooperation, they trusted me enough to leave me unattended after the treatments. There was no threat from a drugged, unconscious little girl and the various monitors hooked up to my body would alert them if anything was out of the ordinary. My heart monitor spiked but that was normal. After a treatment, I usually suffered terrifying nightmares, unable to wake from the paralyzing liquid they injected into every major blood vessel of my body._

_They didn't know I had overheard them three nights before. I had feigned sleep while she argued with him over me. I had only just recently begun to wake consciously from the treatments before my body was able to catch up. I hadn't told them how much the treatments were improving, if they knew I was responding, they would just up the dosage, sending me back into a constant sickly, nearly comatose state. _

_"__The subject is becoming curious. Suspicious of my dedication. If this continues, we may need to proceed with the anesthetic. It could make testing much easier." She spoke bluntly, so much different than the caring voice I was used to. _

_"__I'm not so sure I agree Laura, treatments are unpredictable, we need her fully conscious for a detailed response analysis. None of us could have known how this would turn out, but you said it yourself, she has mutated. What she is capable of is incredible. She could be the key to our future." I was all too familiar with the cold and lifeless voice of the man. He had done all of this to me, never showing any sympathy. No, it was something much more terrifying that I saw on his face as he cut me open. Excitement. _

_"__Whatever you decide, her questions must be subdued. She has reached a proper age to mature and I have taught her as much as I could in this short fourteen years. When they are ready, she is prepared to be sent down to Earth." I listened as her feet shuffled, closer to where I lay on the hard bed. My heart monitor spiked and they quitted. _

_"__I must report to the Council. Tend to her once she awakes then find me later." My heart monitor continued to beep uncontrollably as he silently left the room and I felt her hand cover mine. I forced myself to calm down and after several minutes, cracked my eyes open. Now was the time I usually awakened, unaware of my surroundings and scared to death._

_Thankfully, my expression reached the right amount of terrified, but this time it was for different reasons. This time the nightmare was real..._

_For three days now I had forced myself to pretend like everything was normal, no longer asking any questions of what the world was like outside of the room I had been confined to my entire life._

_Now I struggled to open my eyes once again after my second treatment of the day. I would not let them put me to sleep, doing who knows what to my body. Of course I had never given them permission before, but I had gone along with it because it was the only life I knew. And she was always there for me. Laura. The only woman in the Arc that I had believed to care for me. Not anymore. Now I knew the truth. Not only were they contemplating putting me in a coma, they planned to send me down to Earth._

_I just needed to get out of this prison. Out and into the rest of the Arc. If I could expose myself maybe somebody would help me. Before, Laura had told me that no one knew about me, I was her special little secret and she wanted it to stay that way. That's why I wasn't even allowed to talk to the guards that I sometimes caught a glimpse of outside my door. Guards I knew would be standing there in a few moments when I finally opened the door._

_Thankfully, Laura had not shown up today, she had been gone much more frequently than normal. I finally succeeded in fighting past the wave of dizziness and struggled to sit up. Despite the growing pressure in my head from raising so fast, I turned in the bed and winced as my feet touched the cold ground._

_This was it, I would only have a few seconds after I detached the awful monitors to get to the door. If I didn't escape, I would die trying. The door was pure steel, probably impossible to open without a key card or password, but I had a little leverage._

_I ripped the needles and tubes from my body, gasping as blood spurted everywhere, covering the awful white gown I wore. Then I was off. It was only four or five steps to freedom, but it felt like an eternity before I reached it. Once my shaking hands reached the hard door, I pushed._

_My arms trembled as a surge of power lept through them, impacting with the door and sending it flying through the air. I heard a grunt as the guard who had been leaning on the door went flying with it. I took one step out into the open cold of a dark room and ran._

_I was free._


	4. Episode 2 Part 2

We were trapped. I could feel the predator moving through the trees, following us as we crashed through the forest. But why wasn't it attacking? It seemed like it was testing us, watching. I gripped Octavia as close as I could and ran deeper into the forest. I heard Finn call to Clarke from behind and turned to see she had tried to go back for Jasper. I myself had thought about scaling the river on the vine, but realized it was pointless, there was no way I could carry Jasper back over the river in one piece if he wasn't already dead and there were five more of us that were in danger as well. If only we could find cover, then we could figure out what we needed to do.

Up ahead, Monty tripped on something and went down hard. I gently let loose of Octavia and we both struggled to lift him, "Get up!"

My grip tightened as I saw what Monty had tripped over and nearly fallen on. The rib of a skeleton lay among an assortment of other bones, dirtied and rotting. The stench of sickness filled my nose and I almost gagged.

"Who are they?" Finn asked in disgust and fear.

I turned to Clarke who had picked up what I feared to be a skull. My stomach dropped as I saw that it was definitely not completely human, something of a mix between ape and human "What are they?"

"We're so screwed." Octavia muttered, gripping my shoulder.

The awful screams of Jasper broke the silence and Clarke dropped the skull, "Jasper, he's alive." Then she took off despite the pleas of Finn to wait.

I ran after her, momentarily leaving Octavia leaning against a tree, and grabbed Clarke's arm, "Wait! Stay in the trees." She nodded in affirmation and bile rose in my throat as I looked across the river. Jasper was gone.

"He was right there!" Octavia said in disbelief, "Where is he?"

"They took him." Clarke muttered.

"We have to get out of here. Go back to the camp and get help." I pleaded with Clarke. Whatever these things were, they were much more capable than us. To my knowledge, an animal couldn't be intelligent enough to craft a spear and set a trap, as this predator was obviously doing. Which led me to believe something far more terrifying than I could accept just yet.

Clarke looked reluctantly to the spot where Jasper had last been seen, "Let's go." Finn dragged Clarke away and we followed. Everyone was silent as we traversed back through the forest the way we came. Clarke had shrugged Finn's comforting arm off of her shoulder and was now silently following the map to take us back to the camp.

The temperature seemed to have dropped, causing the clammy sweat on my body to stick in some very unpleasant places. This was more movement than I had done in my entire life, being confined to one room, though the drugs I had been given had kept me in perfect health physical wise. I have no idea how Octavia was managing on the other hand. I would think being locked in the floor for the better part of one's life could really take a toll. And there was the whole getting eaten by a giant snake thing.

After several minutes of a paced jog, we slowed down to a fast walk. I tried my best to help Octavia as much as possible, I couldn't imagine how uncomfortable her leg must have been, rubbing against the harsh fabric of her pants. Blood ran down her leg, reopened from the excitement of the chase, yet she only slightly grimaced.

Some of the scenery started to look familiar as we finally reached the outskirts of the camp. Clarke and the others raced ahead as I struggled to get Octavia down a steep edge.

"Wells! Let him go!" Clarke yelled as we came upon Wells holding the angry boy, who I decided to call Grumpy, from earlier by the neck at knifepoint. From what it looked like, they had both got in a few good hits. No doubt Grumpy had started it. Wells looked terrified, only as if he were trying to protect himself.

Clarke ran straight into the altercation and after a silent exchange, Wells forcefully pushed Grumpy away. Before Grumpy could go after Wells again, Bellamy appeared and held him back. I realized that once again everyone had been standing around staring, doing nothing to stop what could have easily just been a murder.

Octavia grunted as we both jumped from a small ledge and onto level ground. Bellamy immediately forgot the altercation and ran up to us. He gave me a quick worried and questioning look before reaching for Octavia, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Octavia nodded to me in appreciation and let Bellamy support her, "Where's the food?" Bellamy asked aggravated.

Everyone stood still, lost as to how to possibly explain, "We didn't make it to Mount Weather." Finn sighed as he sat on a rock.

"What the hell happened out there?" Bellamy asked, growing angrier by the second.

"We were attacked." I said quietly. Bellamy looked to me then back to his sister, "Attacked? By what?"

"Not what. Who. Turns out we're not the only ones down here" Finn spoke up.

Bellamy looked to Octavia in disbelief, "It's true."

"Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here. Survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won't kill us." Everyone began to crowd around, listening intently. I couldn't help but slightly intake at Clarke's words, as if the mere mention of radiation would start raising questions about me. I felt exposed, as if everyone knew what I was.

"The bad news is the Grounders will." Finn grimly added to Clarke's inspiring speech. His slang for the people who had attacked Jasper seemed to catch on as whispers drifted through the air.

Now I not only had to protect myself from a bunch of juvenile delinquents, but who knows how many murdering crazy radiation-filled predators.

"Where is the kid with the goggles?" Wells looked around, just noticing Jasper was no longer in our party. I ground my teeth and looked down.

"Jasper was hit. They took him." Clarke shuffled, looking as uncomfortable and apprehensive as I felt. Outrage sounded through camp.

"Where's your wristband?" Clarke ignored the cries and grabbed for Wells' wrist, pulling the sleeve up and seeing that nothing was there. I leaned in, waiting for his answer.

"Ask him." Wells nodded to Bellamy in resentment. So that was what he had been planning. I quickly put the pieces together. So did Clarke, it seemed.

"How many?' Clarke advanced on Bellamy, like a little blonde Tasmanian devil. I almost laughed at the apprehension on his face.

"Twenty-four and counting." Grumpy spoke up, blood running down his face.

I didn't really know what to think about it all. If Bellamy could convince everyone to abandon their wrist bands, theoretically, the Arc wouldn't come down. I had my own reasons for ditching the wristband of course, but what about the others? Everyone on the Arc would die, although I resented those few people I had known in space, I couldn't condemn them all. I couldn't accept that they would all die. They had to know it was ok to come down. However, that would have to be a job for Clarke, who I was fully confident could handle herself, I had my own problems to deal with.

"You idiots." Clark whispered in disbelief. I surveyed Clarke once again. She must have had someone she really cared about up in the Arc. Someone she wanted to see again, unlike most of the others down here. Including me.

"Life support on the Arc is failing. That's why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands you're not just killing them. You're killing us!" Clarke now addressed everybody. I agreed with her.

Bellamy quickly stepped forward in retaliation, "We're stronger than you think. Don't listen to her, she's one of the privileged. If they come down she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same? We can take care of ourselves. That wristband on your arm, it makes you a prisoner. We're not prisoners anymore. They say they'll forgive your crimes, I say you're not criminals! You're fighters! Survivors! The Grounders should worry about us." Cheers of agreement sounded through the camp. I had to give it to him, the guy was a pretty good motivational speaker. But I knew he had a hidden agenda behind it all. He didn't want the others to come down to save his own skin. He had just made a very convincing manipulation of the situation. I could almost believe him. But as I saw the blood on Grumpy's face, I knew that these really were criminals, and horribly decision-making flawed teenagers at that.

Clarke looked around horrified at the the others and stormed away, with Monty and Wells close behind him. Finn nodded to me then followed Wells into the drop ship. The rest of the campers started to slowly disperse. I started to follow after Clarke, but was pulled back by Octavia, "Bellamy, meet my knight in shining armor. Alice." Octavia happily shoved me in the direction of Bellamy. I managed to stop myself just before I stumbled right into his chest.

"Alice." Bellamy nodded stiffly and Octavia grunted as she took a seat on a rock, sticking her injured leg out. I had seen Clarke tend to the wound enough by now to know what needed to be done.

I immediately turned to her and spoke to Bellamy, "Do you have a wet cloth?"

Bellamy looked around questioningly then produced a piece of cloth from his pants pocket, I reached out to grab it and had to contain myself when our fingers touched. This was the first time I had come into contact with a teenage boy outside of a deathly situation. Give me a break.

As I kneeled on one side and ripped the material of her jeans further down to look at the injury, Bellamy sat down on the other side of the rock and looked at the blood wearily. I gently padded the blood and winced as Octavia groaned, her leg shaking.

"What the hell was it?" Bellamy asked tiredly.

"I don't know." Octavia answered between breaths.

"It was like some giant snake. It felt awful." I mumbled, looking up to Bellamy and meeting his eyes for only a moment.

"Wait, you felt it? Were you in there too?" Bellamy looked slightly approving.

"I told you. My knight in shining armor. She jumped in and sucker punched the thing in the face. Then taught herself to swim in two seconds and drug me back to shore!" Octavia smiled and patted me on the head like a dog.

"You could have been killed." Bellamy admonished his sister after giving me what I thought was a nod of thanks.

"She would have been if Alice didn't jump in to pull her out." Clarke approached from behind, followed by Wells and Finn.

"Are you guys leaving? I'm coming too." Octavia raised to follow them but was stopped by Bellamy who pushed her back down on the rock.

"No, no. No way. Not again."

"He's right, you're leg's just going to slow us down." Clarke said coldly. Man was that girl on a mission. She turned to Bellamy, "I'm here for you."

"Clarke what are you doing?" Wells warned.

"I hear you have a gun." Bellamy lifted his shirt in affirmation and I recoiled slightly. How had he managed that? I had only ever seen a gun once before and it had been one time too many. The things might make you feel strong and in control when you're using them, but it was a whole different story when they were pointed at you.

"Good, follow me." Clarke turned and walked away, expecting Bellamy to follow.

"Why would I do that?" Bellamy stood his ground.

"Because you want them to follow you and right now they're thinking only one of us is scared." I was beginning to see the badass side of Clarke.

"Murphy, come with me. Atom, my sister doesn't leave this camp, is that clear?" Bellamy had been convinced. All it took was a jab at his authority. So Grumpy's real name was Murphy huh? I liked Grumpy better. Another handsome boy stepped forward, Atom I presumed.

"I don't need a babysitter." Octavia fixed her pants and stared defiantly.

"Anyone touches her, they answer to me." Bellamy warned Atom who nodded in understanding.

"Let's go." Bellamy ordered and walked away without another word. I took one last glance at Octavia then followed. There was no way I wasn't going to try and help Jasper. Not if I could help it.

"You don't much seem like the rescuing type." I observed aloud as I matched pace with Bellamy.

He glared at me then replied, "The Arc thinks the Prince is dead. I'd say if the Princess is too, they'll never come down." I saw Clarke look back menacingly then continue walking.

Then in a lower voice that I could barely hear he added, "I'm getting that wristband, even if I have to cut off her arm to get it." Grumpy grinned maliciously and Bellamy increased his pace to catch up with Clarke. Oh this was going to be fun.

If only he knew that my wristband was the one that would bring the Arc down. But he didn't have to worry, it was coming off as soon as I could get the chance.

"Hey hold up!" As Bellamy, Grumpy, and I caught up to Clarke, he raised his gun smiling and asked, "What's the rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart."

"Put the gun away Bellamy." Wells warned, stepping forward only to be pushed away by Grumpy.

"Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart he would have died instantly. That doesn't mean we have time to waste." Clarke retorted in annoyance and anger.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and grabbed Clarke's wrist, "As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go."

Clarke jerked her hand away and said, "The only way the Arc is going to think I'm dead, is if I'm dead. Got it?" I stopped myself from remarking, don't push your luck Clarke, Bellamy might just arrange that for you.

"Brave Princess." Bellamy advanced on Clarke menacingly and I could see the perspiration on his forehead.

Once again, I put myself between two people and said, "You call this a rescue party? Let's split up."

Finn walked up from behind and said, "Clarke and Alice, come with me." And just like that it was over as we walked away. I glanced back to see Bellamy glaring.

"Better late than never." Clarke muttered in reference to breaking up the argument.

"I like to think so." Finn nodded to me and we continued into the forest.

After a while, Finn spoke up, "I've been thinking about Mount Weather. How come they didn't attack until Jasper crossed the river? It's not like we were being quiet and they didn't know we were there."

Clarke looked up in realization, "They waited for us to cross. The river's a boundary."

"Which means Mount Weather's off limits." Finn replied.

I had guessed as much. The attack had been too calculated to just be a random ambush.

"How are we going to get the supplies. And what about food?" I asked the obvious question. Who ever said this was going to be easy?

Finn seemed to be lost in thought, then suddenly, he took off with my question left hanging in the air. Clarke looked to me and rolled her eyes then we followed.

As we drew closer, I knew what had caught his attention. A waterfall. As beautiful as I could have imagined, "Well at least we don't have to worry about water." I turned to face Clarke and Finn, smiling. A wicked grin crossed Finn's face as he stared at me and Clarke, then he walked across the stones and into the water.

I followed and soon found myself knee deep in chilly water. The Arc didn't have showers and it had been a very long time since I remembered cleaning myself. I raised my arms and fell back into the water, causing a rather large splash and prompting laughs from Clarke and Finn. The water felt amazing now that I wasn't being chased by a mutant serpent. It was like magic, floating in the smooth waves of the pool.

Clarke bent down to fill up the water container and Finn splashed her with the water, "Come on guys, we don't have time for this." She admonished, now serious.

"Clarke, we've been hiking for hours. It's time to take a break." Finn replied with a smile.

"I'll take a break when we find Jasper. Come on."

Finn winked at me then grabbed for Clarke, pulling her into the water despite her threats, "Damnit Finn!" Clarke splashed his face and struggled in the water. As she finally felt what I had just experienced, her demeanor changed, "Oh wow, maybe just a minute." She said smiling.

I laughed in accordance with Finn and swam over to small rock jutting from the water.

"I think I know why you're so hell bent on finding Jasper, why you're always taking care of everybody else." Finn spoke low and I took the hint, looking around at everything but them. I didn't have to tune them out for long as I saw something that made my stomach twist. I jumped out of the water onto the rock and walked over to a small space covered in red.

"Guys." I called, nearly hyperventilating. I knew too well what it was. Blood. My dreams had been stained with it since before I could remember. Usually it was mine. It covered the rocks and one particularly haunting handprint lay on the top. As the two approached, Clarke seemed to notice something and reached down below the rocks, pulling out a familiar pair of goggles, "Jasper. He was here, we should get the others."

This was Jasper's blood. There was so much of it. I forced my eyes to look away as Finn followed Clarke away from the rocks. We soon found Bellamy and the others and Clarke told them about the bloody rocks. With new purpose, we quickly came upon what looked like an open road.

"How do we know this is the right way?" The ever optimistic Grumpy piped up.

"We don't. Spacewalker thinks he is a tracker." Bellamy replied, annoyed.

"It's called cutting sign. Fourth year Earth skills. He's good." Wells retorted.

I winced at the mention of lessons and school. It reminded me just how different I was from these people. I had obviously not been allowed to attend and was seriously lacking in the whole academics department. Everything I knew was from literature, mostly children's story.

"You want to keep it down or should I paint a target on your back." Finn turned around angrily. I ignored the conversation as my fingers started to twitch. Before I could say anything, Finn came upon a broken twig from a branch. He crouched down to see a small splatter of blood on the ground. An awful call sounded from the trees, "What the hell was that?"

"Now would be a good time to take out that gun." Clarke spoke to Bellamy, wildly searching the trees.

My feet started to move of their own accord, taking me into the a jumble of trees. I was relieved to hear the others following close behind, but stopped dead in my tracks as I emerged from the trees to behold Jasper. Shirtless, bloody, and tied to a huge tangled tree. The sight was horrific. He seemed to barely be breathing and as I glanced at his tied up purple hands, awful memories flashed through my head of my own blood clogged hands.

"Jasper? Oh my God! Jasper!" Clarke rushed to reach him but Finn grabbed her back.

I rushed past the both of them and gasped as the world fell out from underneath me. I flung my hands out, grabbing for something. Anything. And felt my body yank in two as something grabbed my arm. I looked up to see Bellamy, panting but holding my arm with a grip of steel. The sleeve of my shirt rolled back underneath Bellamy's hand and I saw as he glanced down. His eyebrows furrowed and I knew what he saw. Mauled flesh covered in bruises and track marks. I heard others yelling to pull me up then felt myself being lifted as they grabbed Bellamy and pulled him back.

"Alice!" Clarke gasped, grabbing my shoulder. I nodded, and self consciously pulled both of my sleeves down as far as they could go. Bellamy stood close beside me, still looking confusedly at my arms. Finn helped me up and I looked down the hole I had almost fell in. Spikes jutted out from the bottom. That would have hurt.

A moan from Jasper brought my attention back to him, "We need to get him down."

"I'll climb up there and cut the vines." Finn said determinedly.

"Yeah I'm with you." Wells made to follow him.

"No. Stay with Alice and Clarke. And watch him." Finn nodded to Bellamy in disgust, "You. Let's go." Grumpy followed Finn behind the tree.

"There's a poultice on his wound." Clarke observed. A green mess of herbs was packed on Jasper's wound.

"Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?" Wells asked.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch likes it's dinner to be breathing." Bellamy retorted.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us." I said quietly.

Finn and Grumpy slowly made their way up the tree and began to cut the vines. What sounded like a a growl came from the growth behind the tree and Grumpy looked up in alarm, "What the hell was that?"

"Grounders?" Bellamy nervously offered. Suddenly, from behind the brush we had come from, a huge cat came slinking towards us. It's jaws were bigger than my head and every inch of its huge lean body seemed to ripple with strong muscles.

"Bellamy! Gun!" Clarke cried. He reached for the gun but it was gone. A shot rang out right next to me, making me jump. At some point, Wells had stolen the gun and now unsuccessfully fired at the animal, only hitting it once in the hide. It ran into the cover of some brush and everything stilled for a moment. Bellamy stared into the growth, looking to see if it was alive, then with a terrifying roar, it jumped at him. Another shot rang and the animal fell mid air.

Bellamy stood, too stunned to move and looked to Wells who dropped the now empty gun, "Now she see's you." Bellamy nodded towards Clarke after a moment of shocked silence. Whatever that was about.

A shuffle drew my attention back to Grumpy and Finn, who had finally gotten Jasper down and now carried him by the arms over to us.

"Let's get back to camp." Finn offered.

"Wait, first we take our prize." Bellamy smiled and lightly kicked the dead cat. Grumpy abandoned Jasper and roughly took the bag Clarke had been carrying and pulled out a large tarp. As I took Grumpy's place in holding up Jasper, the two proceeded to wrap up the carcass and heave it above their shoulders.

"Looks like we're eating tonight." Grumpy smiled and lead the way back to camp.

My stomach did a half rumble half flip at the thought of eating the cat. Hunting wasn't really a thing on the Arc, considering we were in space, and even then I was locked up in a room the whole time. After all, I always despised the hunters in Bambi. I remembered the razor sharp teeth on the cat and decided that it was nothing like Bambi.

It was nightfall before we neared the camp; Finn and I carrying Jasper and Bellamy and Grumpy carrying the cat. Clarke and Wells lead the way through the dark. I don't know how they did it. I wasn't one for directions. In my room there was only three steps left, four steps right, and five steps forward.

"They're back." Someone called from inside the camp. I inhaled the sweet smell of what I could only imagine was a burning fire. Excited murmurs sounded through the camp as Clarke led me and Finn into the drop ship.

"Is he?" Monty was the first to approach, looking scared at Jasper. They were best friends. Also something I had never had.

"He's alive." Clarke assured Monty, "I need boiled water and strips of cloth for bandage."

Clarke opened the tarp now covering the entry of the dropship and led us in. We awkwardly pulled Jasper up to the second level of the dropship and set him on top of a stack of tarps Clarke had hurriedly laid out. Once he was settled, I rose. This wasn't my scene. I never wanted to be confined again. Clarke seemed to notice my unease and said, "I can take it from here, you can go back outside."

As I emerged from the drop ship, Bellamy and Grumpy dropped the dead cat on the ground for all to see with triumphant smiles on their face. Exclamations of awe sounded and Bellamy raised his hands into the air, "Who's hungry?" Cheers followed. An almost unnoticeable look of exhaustion crossed Bellamy's face, but was quickly covered with a fake, pleased grin as his eyes met mine. He wrapped his arm around Octavia and the others picked up the cat, deciding who was going to prepare it. Soon, everyone was gathered around the fire, talking of nothing but the cat and how it came to be supper for the night.

I took a seat close to the drop ship, just in case Clarke needed anything and watched as the others conversed. It was so strange, watching how normally they interacted with eachother. While all of them had been through something, none of them knew the pain that I had. They hadn't had their entire life taken away from them like I had.

As I stared into the dancing flame, my eyes slowly drooped. I tried to fight it, I didn't want to ever sleep again, but I failed miserably. My arms fell to my side and my body slumped as I finally dozed off to the distant chatter around the fire.

I jumped at the sound of Clarke's voice, "He's stable for now, but without medicine…" My eyes quickly adjusted to the dark light. Beside the fire, a stack of wristbands had begun to pile up, a boy winced as another pried his wristband from him and was awarded a piece of cooked meat by a smiling Bellamy. I went to stand up and realized that a small tarp had been draped across my lap while I was asleep. Who had done that?

"They're taking off their wristbands for food? No way. I won't do it." Clarke declared.

"You won't have to." Finn said grimly and walked straight up to the fire, grabbing a piece of meat.

"Wha.. Wha.. Wait! You think you play by different rules?" Grumpy stopped Finn by grabbing his hand.

Finn pulled away and dangerously replied, "I thought there were no rules."

Grumpy just stared dumbly as Finn walked away. From a distance, Bellamy sent a death stare towards Finn as he returned to Clarke. A boy walked up to the fire, reaching for his own piece, revealing that he still wore his wristband as well. Bellamy grabbed the boy by the hand and drew back, punching him in the face. Everyone stilled and I jumped a little. Bellamy gave a warning glare to anyone that dare defy him and stormed off.

As the camp slowly settled back into an uneasy calm, I rose from my resting place and ventured into the woods, illuminated by the full moon. The chatter of the camp had become a little overwhelming, almost like the constant buzzing of a machine engine. I just wanted to hear the peaceful noises of the forest again.

A tingling sensation throbbed at the back of my neck and I immediately looked to the trees in fright. For a moment, I could have sworn I saw the outline of a man, sitting on a branch. Then a hand grabbed my shoulder and I nearly jumped three feet into the air.

"Relax. Hey, Alice, it's me!" I turned to find Bellamy, raising his arms in a show of peace. A rustle sounded where I had seen the shadow and a bird flew from the tree. I must have been imagining it.

"Jumpy?" Bellamy asked, past his smirk I noted a small grimace.

"I thought I saw something." I defended myself lamely.

"Right. So, I never got to really thank you for helping Octavia." He looked into my eyes and I remembered that he had seen what lay beneath my sleeves. I crossed my arms self consciously, which only brought his attention to them.

"Thank you..." After a moment of awkward silence I added, "For saving me I mean. Back at the tree."

"I couldn't pass up the chance to save a pretty girl. Besides, we're even now." It was strange how his mind worked. All that "eye for an eye" stuff. Nevermind the compliment. I just stood there like a dumb girl and squeeked as he reached for my hand. I actually squeeked. Wow. One minute alone with a guy and I was squeeking.

"Why don't we take this off." His thumb rubbed the cold metal on my wrist. And there it was. The real reason he was talking to me. He only wanted the wristband.

I looked into his dark brown eyes and nodded. The wristband similar to the one that I had pulled out long ago was only a menace. But the minute I took it off, I was alone. When my vitals stopped transmitting to the Arc, it was all over. At least I hoped so.

With one squeeze of my hand, he gripped the wristband and tore it to pieces. I winced as the transmitter was removed from my skin, sending blood running down my wrist and onto the ground. Bellamy pulled my hand forward and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, bunching it up and sticking my wrist to it. I immediately curled my fingers into a fist, not wanting to accidentally grab anything. That would make for an awkward situation. Bellamy, however, smiled with dark eyes. I focused on his warm hands against my cold ones.

When I looked up, I found myself very close to his face, which was quite a few inches higher than mine, "Not what I expected." He murmured as if in mid thought. I had no idea what he was talking about.

I was at a loss for words. Was this what flirting was? I have no idea. After what felt like an hour, he pulled my hand away and examined it. I immediately felt the loss of his warmth. The bleeding had already stopped, leaving a few small flakes of dried blood, but the thing underneath the small incision is what made my heart stop.

A similar scar, but much larger. I hadn't been going for precision when I pulled the thing out four years ago. Bellamy raised my hand to see closer, noticing the scar. I yanked my arm away and stepped back.

"Wait, Alice!" Bellamy called, but it was too late. I ran into the darkness


	5. Note to Readers

First of all, thank you guys so much for taking time to read my story. I know a lot of it has just been boring dialogue that hasn't strayed much from the original episodes, but now that Alice has been introduced things are about to get really personal and really exciting. I am open to any suggestions so please don't be afraid to review and let me know if I'm screwing it up! ;) What are you looking forward to? What did you wish could have happened already? Anything you guys have to say helps. Believe me, I want to know what you guys think!


	6. Episode 3 Part 1

_My hair used to be raven and my eyes were bright green. I had only ever seen my reflection through the warped steel walls of my cold room, but I knew I had changed. My waist-length wavy hair which I had begged them to let me grow out had slowly faded to a light brown. My eyes, which I had once been able to see clearly in the steel, had begun to glaze over to a misty gray. Everything that made me who I was had disappeared. Truthfully, I had never really known who I was. The painfully short hours in which I managed to stay awake were stolen by Laura and her books. Not that I could complain, she treated me like a normal person. Like a child. The others were less than friendly. Sometimes I caught a flash of pity cross their faces, but that was worse than the cold stares._

_ The books were my only true escape. I had acquired a taste for literature very early, considering my "condition". The first five years of my life had been spent in constant fatigue and nausea, leaving little time for anything else. That was when Laura had begun to read to me, mostly children's stories. Once I recovered from five years of being bed ridden, he insisted that I receive a "proper education," in areas such as algebra and chemistry. Laura seemed to disagree, she valued knowledge found in literature that could be applied in "real life," which seemed pointless to me because I wasn't truly living. They eventually came to an agreement to integrate some science in with the regular readings. Despite Laura's efforts, I was going nowhere in the academic department. _

_Something about my brain just couldn't comprehend the complex figures and equations. Which was why I couldn't read. Somehow, my mind could understand and develop the english language through sound, but if I even attempted to understand the actual letters, it was like I couldn't function properly. It had worried Laura to no end and despite her reassurances, I knew there was something horribly wrong with me._

_She seemed to hold a certain pull when it came to me. Although we definitely didn't maintain a normal relationship, perhaps the type between a mother and a daughter, she was the closest I had to one. Laura never hugged me or made any physical contact of the sort, other than the occasional pat on the hand. While she always seemed to be at my side, there were certain topics that had always been an unspoken taboo. And that was okay for the first few years, after the mind crippling treatments, it was fairly hard to retain any coherent thoughts beyond the simple stories Laura read to me. But I was growing more receptive to the injections and I was finally beginning to register my surroundings._

_ I had nothing or no one to compare myself to, but I knew I was different. After all, you're bound to acquire a few distinct differences when you've been locked away your entire life. When I had turned seven, after constant questioning and nagging, Laura had briefly explained to me what lay beyond my little room of horrors. I could hardly believe the tale of how the Arc had come to exist and where we now sought refuge from the toxic Earth. After years of isolation, I had come to believe that there was no life or existence outside of my room. A room where time didn't seem to exist. That was my world._

_ And now, as my ninth birthday arrived, I was finally able to function like a somewhat normal human being. I struggled to accept that the pain might finally be subsided. They had slowly began to condense the injections, only once every other day now. I wore a matching white shirt and pants because I wouldn't be receiving any treatments, which required a stiff white dress and nothing else. With the pants, I actually felt semi-normal, and no longer vulnerable to the uncomfortable examinations he constantly conducted._

_ Laura slid in through the door, only giving me a minuscule glimpse of the darkness that lay beyond. I spotted movement as the guard shut the door behind her. I sat with one leg dangling from my white bed with two pillows propped up behind my back. My foot ticked in anticipation. As I had begun to gain consciousness, my unease and restlessness had increased. Sometimes I felt as if I could crawl up the walls with boredom. If it weren't for the handheld device that Laura left behind for me to read, I would have gone crazy long ago. That is to say I wasn't already crazy. _

_ My room contained a pitiful two pieces of furniture, a bed and adjoining drawers filled with gowns, all hidden behind an assortment of medical machines. For fun, I would sometimes switch the machines around just to confuse him. He didn't like disorder. I lived for it. Even the smallest amount, because it was so much different than the constant I was used to._

_ "Happy Birthday Alice." Laura smiled as she stood at the edge of my bed. He didn't like that we celebrated my birthday, perhaps it was something only meant for normal children in his eyes._

_ "Thanks." I couldn't hide the dismay in my voice. I thought I saw Laura's eye twitch. She never liked to hear me complain and I had been doing that a lot lately._

_ "I brought you something." She pulled out a hand that she had been hiding behind her back to reveal a small object. I curiously jumped to the end of the bed, having been so accustomed to the tubes and wires connected to my body that I didn't even have to think to work around them. _

_ Laura held a strange device that looked very similar to my reader, but attached to it was a long string, which split into two other strings, "What is it?"_

_ "It plays music. It's only one of three that still survive from pre-Arc. Many of its files have been corrupted, but a few still play very well." I couldn't contain my excitement. Laura had told me about music about a year ago and after I begged for five days straight, she reluctantly sang a beautiful song she called Hurt by someone called Johnny Cash. I had never heard anything so emotional in my life. I was surprised that Laura had chosen such a sad ballad. Unfortunately, that was the only song Laura would sing, so I had never heard anything else like it. I had once tried to make my own song, but it didn't end well. Let's just say I'm not musically inclined._

_ Laura messed with the music player for a while then handed it to me, "You put those in your ears." After a blank stare, Laura grabbed the two loose ends of the string and stuck them into my ear. Everything became slightly muffled and I looked to Laura in confusion. She smiled, rolling her eyes and pressed a button on the device._

_ Immediately, a burst of noise filled my ears. I jumped slightly, but relaxed as the noise continued, turning into a melody much like the one Laura had once sung. A male's voice began to sing over the music and my heart dropped. I grabbed my chest as it constricted and my toes curled in delight. It was the first time I had ever experienced pure joy. _

_ "They were called The Beatles on Earth. Very popular. The particular song you are listening to is called Let it Be." Laura explained as the song ended and I slowly pulled the listening strings out of my ears._

_ "It's the most amazing thing I've ever heard." I said breathlessly._

_ "Music was extremely popular on Earth, but once we were forced to take refuge on the Arc, it lost its demand." I couldn't imagine how anyone could forget such a beautiful thing._

_ "This player is very important to me, but I'm going to let you keep it for tonight." My heart monitor spiked in reply to Laura's words. It was funny how something so small could prompt such strong emotions from me. _

_ "Thank you so much Laura! I promise I'll take care of it!" I pulled it close to my chest, prepared to protect it from anything._

_ "Alright, alright. I have to go now. The controls are fairly simple, you can figure them out yourself right?" _

_ "Yes! Yes!" I looked down excitedly and started to experiment with the buttons._

_ "Goodnight Alice." Laura didn't wait for a reply. I was so engrossed in the player that I didn't notice her leave. _

_ The automatic timer in my room dimmed the lights and I scooted further into the bed. It wasn't long before I got the hang of the controls and I found myself sighing as Let it Be played again._

_ My hands crossed over my stomach, holding the player and I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. I found myself drifting off, content to sleep for the first time in my life. And then, it all went to hell._

_ My eyes flung open as I felt every nerve in my body tense. My muscles felt as if they were coiling in on themselves, so tight they were about to snap. Before I could stop myself, my body began to shake uncontrollably, flinging the music player across the room and sending machines flying everywhere. The air became nearly unbreathable and my throat seemed to close in on itself._

_ Laura burst in the room, worry splattered across her face. She was terrified. Just as I was about to fall off of the bed, she held my arms down so painfully, I thought they might fall off. I choked up my own blood as I tried to speak. _

_ "Alice, stop!" Laura pleaded. Before she could say anything else, an unseen wave burst from my body, hitting Laura square in the stomach and sending her flying into the door. I tried to sit up to see if she was alright, but my body seemed to shut down._

_ A tear rolled down my cheek and into my tangled mess of hair as everything went black._


	7. Episode 3 Part 2

I wiped at the unwanted tear falling down my cheek and was horrified to find that it was blood. That was new. I thought I had already suffered through every symptom and side effect possible. I had never really known what caused the seizures, but ever since my birthday that night, I had been at the mercy of my attacks for nearly two years. Laura had never mentioned the incident again and thankfully, none of my seizures had been as drastic as the first one. But after that, I was never the same. The invisible energy that had thrown Laura across the room never left me, always flowing through my veins.

Of course, I never let go like that again for a long time. The mere thought of it repulsed me. I was a freak. A monster they created. And now I had almost ruined the fresh start I had been given on Earth. Bellamy could never have guessed the whole truth, yet I could see the suspicion written clearly on his face. Everyone down here was dangerous in their own right, yet I was the one who could prove to be the biggest threat to their safety.

I sat propped up against a tree four times the width of myself. I could feel the hard bark of the tree through my shoulder length hair. I ran my hand through the thick layers. The ponytail I had arrived with had long been lost and it now lay in a brown heap of matted curls. Long ago, I had lost the beautiful long hair which I had cherished so much. When they took my hair, they took the last part of myself. One of the very few things that still let me believe I could be a normal girl.

The glowing forest illuminated my pale skin. I used to think freckles once scattered my skin, but it had been so long since I had seen myself, I really had no idea. For the first time since I had landed on Earth, I pulled the sleeves of my dark shirt just above my elbows. My mouth involuntarily turned down in a frown as I traced the bumps along my arm. Even before I had started to resist treatment, the seizures had resulted in quite a wear and tear on the needles which constantly pierced my skin.

The newest bruises had finally begun to fade to a yellow-green. After so many years of feeling weak and dependent, I was on my own. I had once bitterly thought that I could be Pinocchio, the wooden marionette who, despite having been tricked his entire life, found his dream of being a real boy. All I wanted was to be a real girl.

I was reminded all too well that that could never be as my hands sunk into the fresh soil of the forest and felt a pulse from the ground. I immediately knew what it was that silently lived and pulsed within every inanimate and living thing on Earth. Radiation. The forest was filled with it. My mind finally processed what I had been trying to avoid since we had left the ship. Radiation was everywhere and the others were still alive. Everything they had done to me. The inhumane treatments, the stolen years of my life, the lies. It was all for nothing.

In a daze, I rose from the resting stop I had collapsed upon and wandered back through the trees. As much as I was reluctant to, I needed to return to the camp. I had managed to space out for almost an entire night. The sky began to light as the stars disappeared and the glowing forest slowly dimmed. As I neared the camp and heard the few tired murmurs of those who had already woken, I made sure to pull my sleeves as far down as they could go and furiously wiped at the spot the blood had run down my face. There was no such thing as being too cautious.

"Alice! Hey, I was looking for you. Is everything alright?" Clarke emerged from behind a tree, wiping what I could only guess to be Jasper's blood from her hands.

"Yeah, how is he?" I only had to nod towards her hands for her to understand.

"He's still breathing. The Grounders cauterized his wound, it saved his life." Her look of confusion and fear said everything. The Grounders weren't just savages protecting their territory. They were the top of the food chain in this forest and they were hunting us. Jasper had been kept alive as bait in a trap. For us.

"We have to protect ourselves from the Grounders. We have to survive." I offered.

"That's why we need weapons. Lots of them." Bellamy seemed to have a habit of coming out of nowhere. He only afforded me a short glance before turning to Clarke.

"And how do you propose we make them? Out of sticks and leaves." I slowly took a step back, trying to avoid being brought into the conversation. I could sense the tension between Clarke and Bellamy. They were the closest thing to a leader that we were going to get down here. Despite their very different methods of doing so, I knew that they both more or less had the interests of the camp in mind. Bellamy's true motives might be questionable, but he seemed to know what he was doing more than most of us.

"The survival kits only had enough weapons for a few people. We can make the others with pieces from the ship. Anything will help. The meat from last night is already gone and we'll be useless against the Grounders if we're all starving to death."

For once, Clarke seemed to agree, "Do what you need to." Bellamy nodded to us both and walked back to a growing group of girls and boys including Grumpy that had already made their allegiance to Bellamy as their leader very clear.

It was true, we needed food and a way to protect ourselves, but the down side to the weapons was obvious. Give a group of deranged teenage delinquents weapons and there is bound to be trouble. I could only hope Bellamy knew what he was getting himself into.

I was surprised to find that a large portion of the others had awoken and now busied themselves with anything they could find. Bellamy ordered people this way and that and before the sun had fully risen in the sky, several tents had been set up around the dropship and most everyone was working tirelessly to forge formidable weapons.

Perhaps they all felt the same as me. They had been given a second chance like the man on the transmitter screen had said. They weren't going to let that go so easily. We all had something at stake and despite what had been made of them as criminals, they were only teenagers fighting to survive. For the most part, I kept to myself and tried to help Clarke with Jasper as much as possible. His painful cries seemed to now be permanently stuck in my head, and everyone elses, much to their dismay.

A water supply had quickly been found just outside of the camp and I ran back and forth to bring water to Clarke when she needed it. Finn stayed with Clarke in the small room of the ship, helping in any way he could. The Arc must not have thought it necessary to pack medical equipment on the ship. An explanation as to why made me shutter. They hadn't expected we would need it. The radiation would have killed them long before they could find use of any medicine.

I sat outside of the ship in what seemed to be my new permanent post. Clarke and Finn had taken a break from watching Jasper, wandering off into the forest together. Monty was still in the ship, never leaving Jasper's side and Octavia had eventually left the ship and volunteered to help make weapons with the others.

Feeling useless, I forced myself to approach Octavia who sat by the snuffed out fire, furiously sharpening a small metal shard taken from the back of the ship, "If anyone pisses me off right now, I'm going to use this."

I cautiously sat beside her and gently pulled the sharp object from her hands, "Why don't I help you with that."

"Bellamy can't control me down here. I'm not going to hide this time." Octavia spoke beneath the cover of her long dark hair with her elbows resting on her knees. Her foot jumped up and down and after a while she looked back up, trying for a different mood to lighten the conversation. I could tell the smile was forced.

"Look, I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, I'm sure he was just trying to look out for you. I've seen you two and believe me, you're lucky you have someone like him." I brushed my thumb against the sharp edge of the metal, averting her eyes at all costs.

Octavia seemed to consider, then said, "Maybe, but I can take care of myself."

"Then prove it." I smiled and met her eyes for the first time. I tossed the shard into the air, catching it easily then set it down on top of a pile of similar sharp objects waiting to be made into effective weapons. After a quick look at the stack of completed weapons, I grabbed a small knife the size of my hand and dragged Octavia towards a cluster of trees.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Octavia seemed to have truly lightened her mood as a small smile played across her lips.

"I never do." Wasn't that the truth.

I couldn't help but smile as I awkwardly held up the knife and tried to find a comfortable position. A few years ago, I never could have imagined that I would be here, learning how to throw a knife.

"Any day." Octavia teased.

"Patience." I half heartedly muttered as I pulled the knife back and threw. It hit the tree with a small thunk and fell to the ground. Octavia tried to hide a snicker.

"Okay you try it then." I picked up the knife and handed it to Octavia, smiling.

With slightly more confidence than warranted, Octavia reared back and threw the knife. It hit the tree with a small thunk and fell to the ground.

"That was just for practice." Octavia laughed at her own expense and handed the weapon back to me. After several more unsuccessful minutes of taking turns throwing the knife, I was beginning to feel useless. If I couldn't offer knowledge to the others, physical labor was all I had.

"Okay, I swear I got it this time." I assured as Octavia rolled her eyes in disbelief. I took a deep breath and hurled the knife. A nearly unnoticeable spark left my fingers as the dagger left my hands and landed perfectly into the trunk of the tree.

"Wow." Octavia's mouth dropped and she walked up to the knife in the tree. My hands hung uselessly at my side. Though I hadn't been calling upon the force, that was the most control I had ever exercised over my "ability." I shuddered at the thought of it.

"You can say that again." Bellamy walked up from behind the impaled tree and stood close to a newly annoyed Octavia.

"What's wrong, bro? Worried someone is actually better than you at something?" Octavia taunted as she laid her hand on the knife jutting out of the tree. Bellamy smirked and reached for the knife, then did a double take as it didn't budge. Octavia happily sauntered up to me and patted my shoulder.

"You're perfect... For hunting I mean." Bellamy muttered distractedly trying to retrieve the knife again, this time with more effort, and finally pulled it out, twirling it between his fingers and once he seemed to remember that we were still standing there said, "Several of us are heading out soon, you should come."

Without waiting for an answer, Bellamy awkwardly nodded to Octavia and walked away. Octavia rolled her eyes then followed after him with a quick nod to me. What was with this family and nods?

I didn't really know what to think about hunting. It was hard to get past the whole killing Bambi and his woodland friends. Plus, it wouldn't be for my benefit, I rarely got hungry due to years of being injected only the essential nutrition. I had never eaten a solid piece of food in my life. Even though it had always been that way, I never got used to the complete embarrassment or the lack of privacy during the treatments. Until the later years of my life, the injections had left me so crippled that I had become completely reliant on the use of catheters.

There was no telling what would happen when I finally had to resort to eating real food. Nevertheless, the entire camp would starve without it and they couldn't thrive on berries and herbs. It was worth trying.

I followed the two siblings back to the camp and approached a small group of girls and boys who nervously prepared to enter the forest. I could completely understand their apprehension. Who knows what lay within the depths of the forest.

"Alright, we're going to do this as fast as possible. The less we're exposed the better. Atom and Ben, you're the best trackers we've got, go on ahead and we'll follow. Alice, Sarah, and Murphy, you're with me. The rest of you will stay and look after the camp. Gather as much wood as you can and follow the patrol schedules we talked about earlier, if anyone leaves their posts, they'll answer to me.'' Bellamy handed me a small hatchet as the others slowly ventured into the woods. I couldn't help but marvel at how efficient Bellamy was making his time. He seemed to think of everything.

"Are you ready?" I stopped myself from stiffening as I felt Bellamy's large hand gently graze my back. I had to remind myself that a normal girl wouldn't be fazed by the subtle gesture of assurance Bellamy had just afforded me.

"I think so." I gripped the hatchet and trudged beside Bellamy into the forest.

It was funny how I felt at ease by myself in the cover of the trees, but once I was surrounded by actual people, every sense was on alert. Bellamy had eventually sent Grumpy and Sarah into a different direction to cover more ground. After an hour of quietly sneaking through the forest with Bellamy constantly one step behind me, I didn't know if I could take it anymore. I was sure he could feel the static air radiating from my body.

"I think it's time for a break, you look a little pale." Bellamy put his hand on a tree and stood with one foot raised on top of a root protruding from the ground, "More so than usual."

It was true, my symptoms seemed to be closely related to my emotions and being this close to Bellamy for so long was sending my emotions through the roof. All I could hope was that I didn't start bleeding or throwing up. Talk about hopeless.

"I'm fine." Was all I could manage.

"I know." I found myself backed up against a tree as Bellamy slowly advanced on me.

I had only ever read of romance and love. There wasn't much room for it in between comas and Laura would not indulge any "fantasies," as she called them. But I was slowly beginning to understand the concept of physical attraction. One that most everyone else down here seemed to know very well. Despite the progress we had made at the camp, it was still evident that they were only teenagers. Especially when you might happen upon a couple embracing very publicly like I had only a few hours ago as I was bringing Clarke a fresh bucket of water. It was the first time I had seen a kiss and just before I forced myself to look away, I felt a small flutter in the bottom of my stomach.

I felt the same disturbance as Bellamy laid his hand above my head and looked down to my face, "I've been trying to figure you out Alice." His warm breath smelled of campfire smoke as it hit my cold cheeks.

Despite all of the evidence that defied my feelings, I found myself trusting Bellamy. There wasn't much he could do to hurt me, but I doubted he wanted to anyway. He was merely trying to solve the impossible mystery of me. If he did solve it though, I feared he would not come so close as he was just now.

"You don't want to do that." I warned, not maliciously, but almost in defeat as I was reminded that I could never truly get close to any of these people. Especially Bellamy.

Before he could reply, I felt a small pinch on the back of my neck and looked past Bellamy's tall shoulder to find myself staring straight into the red eyes of an enormous beast. I grabbed Bellamy's arm from above my head, accidentally pulling him closer to me. My chest rose in heaves, hitting his own hard chest, "Wha.." Before he could finish, I clapped my other hand around his mouth. I ignored the sweet smell of sweat and steel filling my nose and his full lips underneath my hand. His eyes widened as he saw the fear in mine.

I slowly pulled my hand from his mouth and reached for the hatchet from the back loop of my pants I had temporarily stashed it in. I felt every movement as Bellamy reached for his own knife from his pocket. A horrible snarl sounded from the shadows that the animal emerged from. It was a bear. A huge, angry bear.

"What is it?" Bellamy whispered, his entire body tensing in stillness.

"It's a… A be…" I didn't finish as the hulking form of the beast came charging towards us. I pushed Bellamy with enough strength to send him stumbling a few feet away. With as much effort as I could muster, I raised the hatchet above my head and threw it straight ahead. I winced as I heard the blade barely slice skin, then curled myself into a ball at the bottom of the tree. Everything became muffled as all I could hear were the sounds of the bear above me, then an excruciating crack as the world went dark and I felt the tree give out from behind me.

For a moment, everything was still, then the Earth jumped as the tall tree fell to the ground. I opened my eyes to find the bear standing over me on all four feet, warmth radiating from its humongous body. I could see its belly rise and fall above me. It was so tall that I could reach up and still not touch its awful black matted fur.

"Alice!" I saw Bellamy scramble forward with his knife, standing tall against the bear, "Alice, run!" I tried to move, but was frozen solid as I saw claws the size of my hand dig into the fallen tree. One tap from those and your innards would be spilling out onto the ground.

The ground vibrated as the bear gave an angry roar and swung off of the tree, hitting my head with the side of its enormous paw. My face smacked back into the hard bark and I thought I felt my neck crack. Spots streaked my vision as I watched the bear turn towards Bellamy. There was no killing this thing, our measly weapons probably couldn't even break its skin. I watched helplessly as the beast slowly cornered Bellamy on the edge of a small cliff only a few yards away.

The others were nowhere near, but they had to have heard the tree falling, along with the rest of the forest. They would be here soon, along with who knows what else. Grounders, perhaps? I struggled to my feet and felt the trees groan as my body filled with energy. Bellamy had managed to turn his back away from the edge, and now both he and the bear stood with their sides to the edge. I could see clearly through the opening and as I stepped forward, Bellamy turned to me. His eyes met mine in fear. And then the bear charged.

After a moment's hesitation, I raised my hand and let go. There was no going back after this. I gasped for breath as I felt the force that I had never been able to fully control forcefully throw me back onto my butt. A shudder inducing shriek sounded as the bear's hind legs stumbled back over the cliff and the rest of its body quickly followed behind. I looked up to see Bellamy, standing alone and completely speechless. Probably for the first time in his life.

"Bellamy! Where are you?"

"Alice? Bellamy?"

The calls of the others finally came as they noisily bounded through the trees and into the clearing where Bellamy and I now stood several feet apart. Bellamy seemed to snap back at the sound of the others and called, "Here, we're over here."

I struggled to my feet and was surprised to feel Bellamy's strong arms wrap through my own, "Easy. I got you." I looked for anything to show a sign of his reaction, but his face was completely masked.

"Bellamy! We saw the tree fall. What the hell happened?" Grumpy cautiously approached us, followed by the others.

"Long story short. We have our dinner." Bellamy lifted me to a full standing position and smiled as if nothing had happened.


	8. Episode 3 Part 3

The walk back to the camp was silent, Bellamy had insisted he take me back himself. He promised the others he would send help to retrieve the bear and ordered them to stay and guard the carcass. If the Grounders hadn't appeared yet, he took to the hope that they wouldn't show at all. At least for now.

"Bellamy I…" I couldn't finish as blood bubbled up from my lungs and into my throat. I fell to my knees as blood spilled from my mouth.

"Shit. Alice! What's happening?" Bellamy stopped trying to hold me and fell to his own knees. He set me back against a rock and pushed my sweaty hair back behind my face. I felt my eyes rolling back into my head and Bellamy's strong hands grabbing my face.

"Alice. Come back, Alice." My ears slowly stopped ringing as Bellamy's worried face blurred into view. The bitter taste of blood stuck in my mouth even though the coughing had stopped. My stomach turned as I remembered many similar experiences to this one. I knew it would pass, at least I hoped so. Bellamy, on the other hand, probably thought I was dying.

"Please." I don't know what exactly I was pleading for. Understanding. Acceptance. For him not to kill me. I unsuccessfully tried to rise and felt Bellamy's hand encircle mine as I fell back.

"I'm here." I tried to fight the darkness but felt completely powerless to the exhaustion that followed...

"She hit her head. It's probably just a concussion." Bellamy's low irritated voice broke the silence of my mind.

"I'll decide if it's a concussion or not." Clarke's angry reply opened my eyes.

"Alice!" I felt a small slender hand wrap around mine and let my head drop to the left to see Octavia's happy face. My mind was working at a hundred miles an hour. I had passed out. Somehow I had gotten back to the ship because I now found myself in the same room with Jasper who lay several feet away from me on the floor. I hadn't seen him since I had first brought him in. He looked awful.

I was about to ask how he was when an ache in my throat reminded me what had happened. Bellamy must have carried me all the way back to camp. Bellamy had seen me coughing up blood. Bellamy knew what I could do.

"Alice, hey. Can you tell me how you're feeling? Bellamy said you hit your head before the bear fell off of the cliff. Does it hurt?" Clarke kneeled down on my right and felt my forehead. I suppressed a shudder as her face was momentarily replaced by that of Laura's. Too many memories. When I looked away, I met eyes with Bellamy. His expression gave away nothing, but I did know one thing. He had lied to the others. He was protecting me.

"No, I'm fine." My head hurt like hell, along with the rest of my body. But I knew it wasn't because of any concussion. It was far from that.

"You've been out for nearly half a day. You're not fine." Clarke clucked over me like a mother hen. She was completely different than the medics from the Arc. I could see the care and concern in her eyes. She was a true healer.

"Thanks, but I promise. I'm fine. I must have just got a little too excited." Partly true.

"I can't believe you two took down that thing!" Octavia squeezed my hand in support, then began to describe how the others had left at the orders of Bellamy and returned in pairs, each with a separate piece of the beast. As her hand left mine to aid in her story, I self consciously made sure that my sleeves were pulled all the way down in what was beginning to become an annoying habit.

"Why don't we give Alice some space." Finn spoke from the shadows. I finally looked around the entire room to find that along with Clarke and the others, Wells and Monty sat closely around the area where I lay. These were my allies. Maybe even friends. At least until they learned the truth. Bellamy had lied on my behalf, but how long would that last?

"You're right. The food should be ready by now. You should all go down and eat." Bellamy was giving an order and although none of them had any intention of becoming one of his followers, even Clarke took the hint. After a quick inspection of the eerily quiet Jasper, Clarke followed after the others down through the drop ship.

I struggled to raise myself up against the cold metal of the ship. Bellamy stood without moving, "Are you ok?"

What a loaded question.

"Do you really want to know?" I distinctly remembered stories of old Earth in which women suspected of possessing extraordinary powers were tied to a stake and burned to death.

"You were coughing up your own blood. I've never seen anything like that."

"What about you? Did you get hurt?" It was an awful attempt at changing the subject, but after a moment of silence, he took the bait.

"I'm fine. If that bear hadn't fallen off the cliff, I don't think either of us would be here right now." His eyes danced with hidden questions, yet he hadn't asked the most important one.

"Yeah, that was lucky."

"Yeah." Was he somehow trying to tell me that my secret was safe with him? Maybe he really did believe that the bear had tripped and slid off the edge. Remembering the look of pure shock on his face as the bear flew off of the cliff had me seriously doubting that.

My blood coursed through my veins, filled with suppressed adrenaline. If I had learned anything in my short and miserable life, it was that playing the damsel in distress got you nowhere. In reality, there was no prince or fairy godmother to rescue me. I had survived the Arc and I could survive Earth. I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to stand.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" Bellamy made to step forward then stopped.

"I said I'm fine." My vision blurred but I locked my legs and pushed past the fogginess, "I'm going outside."

After a few shaky steps, I made my way past the still sleeping Jasper and down through the drop ship. Several people stopped what they were doing for just enough time to throw me a smile or pat my shoulder. It took me a moment to realize what for. I had been with Bellamy when the bear was killed. Although none of them knew the truth, they had food for at least two more nights in part because of me.

I myself felt sick as I smelled the scents of burning meat. I had killed something. True, it had been trying to kill me and it would have killed Bellamy if I hadn't stepped in, but I had killed it nonetheless. Despite its enormous size and terror inducing snarl, it was a living creature. After being tormented my entire life, I had a strange if not confused sense of morality.

Bellamy had tried to follow after me, but was stopped by a grumpy looking Grumpy. The crisp air filled my lungs and gave me a small boost of energy. Clarke had said I had been out for half the day. The sun was already starting to set and most everyone seemed content to wander around, making idle conversation. I still didn't know if this would ever feel normal. My entire life seemed like a horrible dream and on the rare occasion that I wasn't being chased to death on Earth, I found myself seeing hope for the future.

"Ah, the mighty bear-slayer emerges!" Octavia skipped beside me in over-exaggerated happiness. This girl went through more emotions in a day than I thought possible. A round of cheers followed her exclamation that sent my stomach flying. The last thing I needed was attention.

"I didn't kill it, it fell off of a cliff." Flashes of my hands flying into the air and being thrown back several feet nearly sent me reeling.

"Don't be modest." Octavia threw an arm around my shoulder and beamed, as if I belonged to her and she was showing me off. I couldn't help but marvel at her. She was everything I could never be. She was able to forget the horrors of her past, but I had a constant reminder of how broken I was.

"Anyways, as a thank you for your bravery, I have a surprise for you." The smile on her face seemed to radiate with mystery.

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one, trust me."

Octavia led me through the outer lying trees and towards the small water hole that now supplied the camp. At the confused look on my face, Octavia giggled and led me further beyond the trees. I was surprised to find a second, smaller pit of dark water. The moon just barely peeked through the trees to illuminate the sparkling water.

"It's a hot spring. I found it while you guys were out hunting. No one else knows it's here, which means it's ours now." She immediately began to pull her shirt off and crouched beside the water.

"Are you sure there aren't any giant radioactive serpents in there?" Did I just make a joke? No, that was actually serious.

"Hilarious. Now take yours off." I hesitated. It was too dark to see any of my scars, but the thought of being so exposed was less than appealing. I had been at the mercy of science and experimentation for my entire life, which left little room for privacy. I never wanted to feel like that again. Octavia was nothing like Laura or the others, despite the little time we had known each other, I felt I could trust her.

Her body was nothing like mine. I tried not to stare as I slowly pulled my bloody shirt off and handed it to her. She had the same dark skin as Bellamy, but hers was soft and feminine where mine was pale and drained. She had a tall and lean figure, completely opposite from my short and moderately full bust.

During the treatments, I hadn't been afforded undergarments, they just got in the way. I faintly realized that I was now wearing a bra and panties, which meant someone else had put them on me. I suppressed a shudder and took the pants off in disgust. How could I still allow them to degrade me when they weren't even here.

For the first time in my life, I took shoes off of my feet. I slowly slid my toes into the moist ground and smiled. The soft grass tickled my feet and I decided I liked bare feet better. I jumped at Octavia's giggles from beside the water and met her understanding gaze. We were really down here. On a planet thought to be uninhabitable. Yet, there we were. And it was beautiful.

Octavia dipped the clothes in the water and handed mine back to me to scrub clean. We sat in our underwear and bras with our feet dangling in the warm water. When I was sure I had scrubbed the blood and stench completely from the clothes, we laid them out on a rock and Octavia slid into the water. I shot a quick glance around and soon followed.

"This is amazing." Octavia leaned back on the edge of the pool and looked up to the sky. I had to agree. Everyone on the Arc was subject to limited cleanliness, but I rarely found myself needing it, considering I never did anything, let alone perspired. On Earth, however, I found I had many opportunities to become a stinking mess. I let my hair fall back into the water then submerged my face. Holding on to the rocks, I stayed just under the surface and opened my eyes to darkness.

It was so peaceful and quiet. If only the water could wash away my scars along with my memories. I reluctantly broke above the surface of the water and looked to the sky with Octavia, "I wonder what they're doing up there."

"Who gives a shit. Just be glad they're not down here." If only she knew.

We sat silently in the still water for what felt like hours. To put it lightly, I was screwed. I had no plan and was nowhere closer to making one. There wasn't much time to think of the future when you're constantly trying to stay alive. Despite their protests of support, I knew I could never fully trust the others and I had absolutely no idea how to handle Bellamy.

"I think our clothes are dry." I ran my hand through my wet hair and nodded towards the clothes.

"Yeah, I guess." Octavia squeezed the water from her long dark hair and I used my hands to prop myself back up on the edge of the pool.

"Thank you Alice. You're the only one who looks at me the same. There's something different about you. In a good way that is." Octavia smiled and slipped back into her clothes.

I didn't answer as I put my own now crinkled and stiff clothes back on. It was hard for me to accept that someone as pure and innocent as Octavia could find the good within me.

It didn't take long to return to the camp and I soon took my place outside of the drop ship, waiting to see if Clarke needed me. I became quite ashamed with myself as I remembered the state Jasper was currently in. How could I worry so much about my own situation as he lay nearly dying in a cold and dank crashed ship that was falling apart. It was only a reminder of how far away from human that I had become.

"You must be feeling better." Clarke approached from within the ship and slid down on the ground beside me.

"It really wasn't anything to worry about. But yes, I do feel much better." My sickness had subsided to a subtle nausea that constantly plagued the back of my mind. Sadly, I was used to it.

"You took your wristband off." Clarke finally noticed.

"I…" I couldn't respond to the look of betrayal on her face.

"It's okay. You must have had your reasons. Bellamy, on the other hand, I don't trust him." She was warning me. I self consciously rubbed at the area my wrist band had once been. From what I had gathered, Clarke's mother was a doctor on the Arc. Although I had learned that Clarke could be trusted, her mother was an entirely different story, and her motivation for salvaging the wrist bands was clearly pushed by her need to contact her mother. Where would her loyalties lie if she knew the truth?

"Do you really think they will follow us down here?" My heart nearly beat out of my chest in anticipation. It was a false hope, I knew. No matter how far I ran, he would find me.

"I think Monty and I have found a way to contact the Arc through the wrist bands. It's a long shot, but it just may work." The hope in Clarke's eyes was the exact opposite of what I was feeling.

"I hope you find what you're looking for." I truly did wish her happiness. If she had a chance to reunite with her family, I definitely couldn't stop her. I wouldn't wish my loneliness on anyone.

"What about you? Don't you have anyone up there that you want to see again?" Clarke seemed to be grasping for anything to convince me that she was doing the right thing. She didn't know that I had already reluctantly accepted that I knew the Arc must come down to Earth if humanity were to survive. No one deserved to die, and I definitely wasn't one to decide who got to live. I just had to be long gone by the time they did come back.

"No one." It stung to admit aloud that I was truly alone. Clarke looked hurt at the thought of my pain.

"Well, you do have someone now. Me." Clarke wiped the dust off of her jeans and stood, smiling.

I was speechless. Clarke didn't seem to mind my awkward response as she walked back inside the ship where she slept with Jasper, Monty, Wells, and Finn.

Apparently Bellamy had taken residence in the largest tent posted to the left of the dropship and argued with Octavia until she reluctantly retired to a smaller tent close by Bellamy's. It had been less than a week but it felt like an eternity. They had already made the crash site into a fully working camp and it seemed as if they were adapting to their new situation extremely well, however terrifying it might be.

I had what seemed like an eternity to myself on the Arc and was finding it particularly hard to process any comprehensive thoughts in the midst of so much movement and action. Yet, an annoyingly persistent pang in my stomach was hard to ignore as I saw an attractive young girl slip into Bellamy's tent. Though I was significantly lacking knowledge in that department, it didn't take long to come to a conclusion about what was about to happen in that tent. Was this normal teenage behavior or was I merely exaggerating the situation?

Who knows.

As I tried to reign in my scattered emotions, a heavy exhaustion slipped over me that I hardly even tried to resist. All I could do was bide my time and hope an answer would come to my problems. Could I really survive alone on Earth? Despite my worries, it didn't take long to succumb to sleep and I found myself dreaming of glowing butterflies as I drifted away.

It seemed too quick as I awoke to the subtle noises of the camp. My body teemed with an energy that I had never quite felt before. It was truly surreal to feel the wind of the light breezes blow through my hair and the sun on my skin. The vibrancy of the forest was such a drastic change from the dull fluorescent lights of the Arc.

I cringed as I heard Jasper's muffled cries coming from inside the ship. How long would this last before he couldn't fight anymore, or someone got tired of the noise? I made a decision, it wasn't doing me any good to sit around feeling sorry for myself. At the moment, Jasper needed help and I wasn't going to deny him as I had been. So I took one last breath of fresh air and entered the claustrophobic ship.

"Hold him down." The small room stunk of sweat and blood, lit by only a small lantern. As I climbed the ladder and kneeled behind Clarke, Finn and Wells grabbed Jasper's arms. I moved towards his legs after a quick glance from Clarke. Flashes of white straps holding me down pounded in my head and I shakily took hold of his legs.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Monty kept his distance as Clarke slipped a knife into the fire.

The moment the hot edge touched his sweat drenched skin, Jasper let out a gut wrenching scream, "Hold him down! I need to cut away the infected flesh." Clarke never took her eyes off the wound, despite Jasper's thrashing.

"Stop it! You're killing him!" Octavia ran towards Clarke and felt Jasper's forehead just as the struggling stopped and his eyes rolled back into his head. I gripped his legs with a grasp of steel and fought to ignore the ringing in my ears.

"She's trying to save his life." Finn tried to reassure Octavia as her face filled with worry.

"She can't." With amazing timing as always, Bellamy entered the now very crowded room.

Jasper seemed to be breathing, just unconscious. Wells sighed and rose to Bellamy's height, "Back off." Oh the testosterone.

"We didn't drag him through miles of woods just to let him die." Clarke still attended to the now bloody wound.

"The kid's a gonner. If you can't see that you're deluded. He's making people crazy." I couldn't help but question Bellamy's harsh tone. If his intentions towards me weren't out of the goodness of his heart, what were they for?

"I'm sorry if Jasper's life is an inconvenience to you, but this isn't the Arc. Down here, every life matters." Clarke's distrust of Bellamy was seeming to turn to hatred.

"Take a look at him. He's a lost cause." Bellamy seemed to truly believe it. I knew he was only thinking logically, trying to protect the interests of the camp, but that couldn't excuse his cruelty. If Jasper had even the slightest chance, I believed he deserved the help.

The room grew silent as everyone seemed to consider what Bellamy had said. It was true, Jasper looked as if he were on his last breath, but if anyone knew anything about surviving, it was me.

"Octavia, I've spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. If I say there's hope, there is hope." Clarke tried to reassure Octavia. I found the differences in our upbringings very strange. I had only ever seen people be broken.

"This isn't about hope, it's about guts. You don't have the guts to make the hard choices. I do. He's been like this for three days. If he's not better by tomorrow, I'll kill him myself." Bellamy's harsh words turned my stomach cold, "Octavia, let's go."

"I'm staying here." Octavia looked near tears as she gripped a dirty clothes rag. Bellamy, however, silently left without her. What had happened to these two siblings to cause them so much pain?

"Power-hungry, self-serving, Jackass. He doesn't care about anybody but himself." Monty now crouched beside Jasper and after looking at Octavia added, "No offense."

Octavia shrugged and I finally let go of Jasper's limp legs. I had thought I could handle it, but maybe it was time for a break.

"Yeah, Bellamy is all that. But he also happens to be right." Finn added grimly looking at Jasper. Clarke looked to Finn in disappointment.

I silently went down the ladder and hurried out of the ship. As the wind blew, the sweat covering my body cooled and I couldn't seem to shake the smell of blood from my nose. Before I realized what I was doing, I stormed through Bellamy's tent and came face to face with his annoyingly handsome smirk.

"Do you need something?" The perpetually aggravated look from earlier was now replaced with wariness.

"How could you give up on him? What makes you think you have the right to decide who lives and who dies?" My voice was quiet, but I could clearly hear the shiver behind it.

"You saw him. He's dead already. If the Grounder's attack we can't protect him and right now all he's doing is calling attention to the camp." All of his points were valid, but that didn't make them right.

"You helped me." I didn't mean to say that aloud. The last thing I needed was to remind him of the incident.

"That was different. You're different." That was the second time I had heard that and I wasn't entirely sure if it was a compliment or an accusation.

His dark eyes seemed to grow darker in thought. I backed away now sub-conscious of how close we were, as if being closer to him would give away my secrets, "I have to go."

Bellamy didn't try to follow me as I left his tent, but I didn't have much time to think about it as I came upon Clarke and Finn talking intently, "Whatever this stuff is, it had to have antibiotic properties." Wells soon came up behind me and I could feel the tension. Between all of this drama, I didn't know what I was going to do with myself.

Wells ignored Clarke's cold shoulder, "Let me take a look. Before you refuse my help, remember who aced botany and Earth skills."

Clarke didn't look happy, but she finally conceded, "The Grounder's used it as a poultice. I"m thinking a team might be even more effective if we can figure out what it is." Clarke looked intently in my eyes, avoiding Wells at all costs.

"I know what it is. Seaweed. Look, the root structure." Wells once again ignored Clarke's briskness and tried to help any way he could.

"Alright, then there must be a water source nearby."

"Yeah, it'd have to have a strong current, lots of rocks, the water would probably be more red than green." Wells seemed extremely well educated on the subject. I couldn't understand Clarke's rejection, Wells was trying so hard to gain her acceptance. If I had anyone who cared that much about me, as I could see clearly in Wells' face, I don't think I could reject them so easily.

"I know just the place." Finn seemed completely unaffected by the quarrel and smiled happily, nodding to me in encouragement.

"Alright, let's go." Clarke was up in no time. leaving Wells behind.

"Hey, I know what this stuff looks like. Do you?" Wells wasn't backing down. And it seemed it had finally worked. Clarke looked to Finn in defeat and Finn led Wells towards the pile of supplies, leaving the two of us alone.

"Alice, I need you to stay behind and watch Jasper. Please, make sure nothing happens to him." Clarke had been referring to Bellamy of course. I could hold up my own, but I was keeping to the hope that Bellamy's threats were only just that. Clarke seemed completely worn out. I don't know how I would have held up in her situation, but I did know I would help her as much as I could.

"Of course. Just hurry back." I added the last part at the sounds of Jasper's moans. Within minutes I was standing guard outside of the ship with Octavia and Monty watching Jasper from inside. I hated to admit it, but I felt defenseless without the comfort of Clarke and the others beside me.

"Where did Clarke go?" Octavia stood beside me, shoving her tangled hair out of her face in frustration.

"They think they might have found something to help Jasper. They've gone to look for it."

"Good." Octavia didn't seem to be completely listening as her gaze followed Bellamy across the camp. It was hard to discern the emotions. Grudging. Loving. Regretful.

It seemed Bellamy had gathered another hunting party together. Something had me thinking it was more of a distraction than a necessity. Occasionally, I caught him glancing towards the two of us. However, he soon ventured into the woods fully equipped with weapons and ready to kill his frustration away.

Just as I was about to ask about Jasper, I noticed a small girl standing behind a tree near the ship, shooting daggers my way. I had quickly gotten used to the annoyed glances due to Jasper's noises, but something about the girl grabbed my attention. She was one of the youngest, and with her red hair braided back and oversized clothes I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I hadn't had much time to pay attention to the other kids of the camp.

A single tear ran down her cheek and she quickly ran into the cover of the forest, past the confines of the camp. My heart raced as I realized she was alone.

"Octavia. Watch Jasper." I grabbed her shoulder to get her attention and ran after the girl before she could respond. Horrible images spread through my thoughts as I ignored the puzzled looks of the other campers watching me speed into the forest.

My heart dropped as trees surrounded me and I had absolutely no idea where she had gone. I definitely wasn't one for tracking and the forest was completely silent. I couldn't call out to her. I didn't even know her name.

My fingers tingled as my throat seemed to close up on me. I couldn't let anything happen to this girl and somehow I knew she was in danger. A single shuffling sound was all it took and I was racing in the direction of the noise.

"No!" I raised my hand and everything seemed to still as I saw the girl, then a razor sharp axe hurtling towards her head. I could feel my energy as the axe slightly changed directions and went sailing three inches deep into the tree beside the girl. My head pounded as the girl turned towards my direction and I stepped forward to find that Bellamy was the one who had thrown the axe.

"Get her!" An awful shrieking sounded as the others ran after what looked like a giant pig.

"Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing here?" Bellamy looked to the girl then added the last part as he saw me.

The girl stood stiffly but answered, "I'm Charlotte."

"I almost killed you. Why aren't you back at camp?" Bellamy advanced and pulled his axe out of the tree.

"That guy who was dying… I just. I couldn't listen anymore."

"There are Grounders out here, it's too dangerous for you." I stepped towards Charlotte and looked her in the eyes.

"I'm not a little girl." Charlotte said defiantly.

"Okay then, but you can't hunt without a weapon." Bellamy looked to me and pulled out a small knife then handed it to her.

"Ever killed something before?" His words were directed towards her but I could only see the bear in my eyes. When she nodded no he responded, "Well who knows, maybe you're good at it." Charlotte looked down to her knife and Atom, who had just walked up to our small group, handed me a similar knife.

"It's alright, no bears out today." He joked and walked off with Charlotte following behind after a nod of encouragement from Bellamy.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I asked referring to Charlotte.

"She has to learn to protect herself." Harsh, but true. Bellamy's voice no longer held it's cold malice, but now seemed distant and calculating. There was no doubt that he spoke from experience. I suspected that Bellamy had taken a huge responsibility in watching over Octavia from a young age. Despite the late night visits in his tent, Bellamy's main focus seemed to lie in survival.

"Do you hear that?" The entire forest seemed to shuffle yet there was no wind to explain the movement. An awful feeling of dread seeped through my body as I felt the air pop around me. An enormous yellow cloud of electric smoke seeped through the trees with Atom and Charlotte racing towards us desperately to escape the fog.

"Run!" Atom shouted as he passed us. The ground shook with the force of the fog and Bellamy grabbed Charlotte's arm encouraging her to run. I followed close behind, trying not to trip on the snaking vines along the forest floor.

"Come on, there are caves this way." Bellamy shouted in urgency.

Atom looked behind us only for a moment and fell behind me, tripping and falling to the ground. Bellamy glanced back at the sound while dragging Charlotte, "Go!" I shouted. I saw a flicker of uncertainty before he nodded and pulled Charlotte after him

I rushed towards Atom, holding my breath. Just as I grabbed his arm to lift him up, the fog surrounded us and horrible coughs immediately erupted from his throat. I gasped and held my mouth.

"Atom! Come one, you have to get up." I struggled to lift him but he was too heavy and for some reason he started to thrash against me. I finally understood as my hand grasped his. It was covered in awful blisters, bursting and oozing blood.

I looked to my own skin, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. A heavy thud beat in the back of my head and my ears rung as I felt a thick wetness run from my ears and nose. It was nothing I hadn't seen or felt before. I'd be damned if I was going to leave Atom to rot.

"Run." Atom struggled past his own pain as he saw the blood covering my face.

"I'm not leaving you." I reached down underneath his large arms, but before I could catch a solid grasp, he pushed me away, hard.

"Go!" Atom lay curled in on himself, having used all of his energy to shove me away. I looked to him one last time and felt my legs moving my body towards the caves Bellamy and Charlotte had taken cover in.

How could I just leave him like that?

I ran towards the small opening of the cave and staggered in, using the rough walls for support. My eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness and at the sound of my own coughs, I heard what I could only assume to be Bellamy and Charlotte. I couldn't even begin to describe the look on his face. He slowly rose from comforting Charlotte to approach me.

I had long ago become accustomed to the sight of my own blood, but I was beginning to wonder when Bellamy might get tired of seeing the atrocity.

"I couldn't carry him." I pleaded as I looked into Bellamy's eyes. I felt like a monster, and I'm sure I looked the part.

"It's okay. You're okay. You couldn't have done anything." To my complete and utter surprise, Bellamy stepped forward and grabbed my arms in assurance. Charlotte sat huddled in a corner at the back of the wall with her legs wrapped firmly in her arms.

Seeing the look of horror on her face prompted me to wipe the blood from my own. Bellamy let go of my arms only to pull my hands away from my face. He pulled me over to a small puddle of water and dipped his hand in.

His hands gently brushed my face and I couldn't look him in the eyes after I saw them return to the water covered in blood. At least this time I had an excuse for leaking blood out of every hole in my head.

"The others? Do you think they're alright?" I couldn't help but think of Clarke and the others. At least the people at the camp could take cover in the ship, but there was no telling where Clarke was.

"I'm sure they found somewhere to hide." He didn't sound very convincing.

"How long do you think this will last?" I couldn't get the sight of Atom's mauled flesh out of my mind. He was still alive and I had left him.

Bellamy's look told me he had absolutely no idea. A small whimper slipped from Charlotte's mouth and Bellamy kneeled down beside her, "We're going to get through this. I promise."

Promises. I had been promised so much on the Arc, but quickly discovered that it was all a lie. Until now, I never believed I could be free. The look in Bellamy's eyes guaranteed that he had no intentions of breaking his promise, however.

Charlotte seemed to be content with his reassurance and settled into the small crook that she had found shelter in. Bellamy sat back next to her feet and lay his arms on her outstretched legs. I kept my distance, staying on the other side of the cave by the water puddle. I hoped the darkness of the cave covered my face as I finally managed to wipe the remaining blood off.

The cave grew quite as Charlotte started to nod off and to my discomfort, Bellamy looked to me, the shadows casting a darkness over his eyes, "What happened out there?"

"I don't know. It just started burning him. I couldn't breathe. He told me to run. I should have stayed." I couldn't stop myself from rambling.

"Alice. You would have died." Bellamy cut me off and I held the back of my hand to my mouth to stop myself from saying anything I might regret.

Bellamy shook his head and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. I followed suite and rested my ringing head against the cold wall.

If only Laura could see me now. She would be having a field day with all of this, going on about how special I was and spewing out endless scientific babble. The fog hadn't affected me like Atom, but it had affected me nonetheless. For all I knew it could affect everyone differently, there was no need to be worried just yet.

They still knew so little about what they had done to me when they sent me down here. They had gotten desperate and taken drastic measures to test their experiments. Questions spiraled through my head, unable to let my brain rest. I doubted I would be sleeping any time soon, yet Bellamy and Charlotte seemed to have already fallen into a deep sleep.

It was strange seeing Bellamy in such a vulnerable position. I had only ever seen him ordering everyone around or pointing a gun at something. Watching his chest slowly rise and fall calmly made it much easier to see past the tough facade. Everything Bellamy did was motivated by his need to protect his sister, however overbearing he might be at times. There wasn't much wrong I could find in that.

After what seemed like only a few minutes, but was actually several hours, Charlotte began to struggle in her sleep and her protests broke the silence of the cave, waking Bellamy and sending me jumping from my daze.

"No!" Charlotte called out, yet her eyes were still closed.

"Charlotte, wake up!" Bellamy gently grabbed her legs and squeezed in reassurance as Charlotte hazily regained her surroundings.

"I'm sorry." Charlotte hid her head in embarrassment as she looked at Bellamy then me. I sat completely still, glad that the shadows hid my face, letting Charlotte believe that I was asleep.

"Does that happen often?" I could hear a touch of understanding in Bellamy's tone. Perhaps he had experienced night terrors as well.

"What are you scared of?" After a moment of silence, Bellamy continued, "You know what, it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is what you do about it."

"I… I'm asleep." Charlotte said in confusion.

"Fears are fears. You slay your demons when you're awake, they won't be there to get you when you sleep."

"Yeah, but how?"

"You can't afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death. Fear is death. Let me see that knife I gave you," Charlotte pulled the small knife out and handed it to Bellamy, "Now when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say screw you, I'm not afraid."

Not very articulate if you ask me, but it was a bit inspiring. Bellamy handed the knife back to Charlotte and waited for her response.

"Screw you, I'm not afraid." After an unconvinced look from Bellamy, Charlotte tried again, "Screw you, I'm not afraid."

Seemingly satisfied, Bellamy settled back beside Charlotte and said into the dark open, "Slay your demons kid. Then you'll be able to sleep." I could have sworn I saw his eyes meet mine through the dark.


	9. Episode 3 Part 4

Slay your demons…

There was only one problem with that. I am the demon. How does one slay themself exactly? Suicide hadn't occurred to me, I would never allow them to hold that much power over me. They could turn me into a monster or torture me to no end, but I wouldn't let them take away my hope. Hope that one day I could find a better life. I had begun to come to the conclusion that such a life could only be attained through loneliness and sacrifice, but hope was all I had at this point.

I felt the cave rumble and looked to Bellamy and Charlotte. It didn't seem to have bothered them at all as they continued to sleep seemingly unaware of the storm that still raged outside.

"Help…" I scrambled to my feet as the cries of Atom filled my head.

"Atom?" I whispered into the empty cave.

"Help…" He was still alive. Suffering. Because of me. With one last glance to the still sleeping Charlotte and Bellamy, I silently made my way back through the entrance of the dark cave. I knew that I shouldn't have been able to hear him, Atom had fallen several dozen feet away from the cave, but somehow, he was calling out to me.

I quickly slipped further into the darkness near the exit of the cave and pushed past the makeshift door Bellamy had hastily set up to block out any toxic fog that might stray in. After the initial sting of the strangely cold thick fog, I was surprised to find that I could actually breathe and see quite well.

The strange yellow smoke served as its own light, though I couldn't see much farther past my own hands. A familiar static tingled against every pore in my body, seeping into my skin. Perhaps the fog lost its toxicity after a certain amount of time. Or my fears would be confirmed that this was just one more oddity that set me apart from the others.

"Alice!" Atom's pained voice echoed through the thick smog and I stumbled forward trying to follow the sound. My hands scraped against hard trees as they appeared out of nowhere. The reality that I had left Atom in that nightmare stole my breath and rocked my body to its core.

"Atom! Please, where are you?" I choked between sobs. Maybe I was just hallucinating. I had been known to suffer some pretty realistic visions back on the Arc. Just as I was beginning to truly think I had gone crazy with guilt, I saw him.

Atom's weak body was curled into a pitifully small ball. I cringed at the thought of how tall and muscular he had once been, yet he looked like a child now. He looked so still that I feared he might have died already. Then I saw the slightest of movement and my ears perked. I fell down beside him and gently rolled him over to face me.

I gasped at the sight of his eyes. They reminded me of my own, having lost their original brown color to silver, yet his were bloodshot with painfully large veins. The work of radiation without a doubt. I could feel the fever radiating from his body and hesitated to touch him for fear his blistered skin might peel off.  
>Beyond the awful moans of pain, I could hear him mumbling. Even as blood bubbled up from his mouth, he struggled to call my name. He had never said more than a few words to me, yet now his dying words were only for me.<p>

"Atom, hey! I'm here. I'm not leaving you again. I'll drag you back if I have to. I need you to look at me." I nearly yelled as I grabbed his shirt in a fistful. My heart dropped as I realized he was blind. The radiation had completely burned his irises. His eyes searched for my voice but couldn't focus on anything.  
>"I'm sorry." At first I didn't believe that I had heard right, then he repeated more forcefully.<p>

"What do you mean? Atom! Please just hold on a little longer." His body started convulsing and without thinking, I grabbed his face and held his chest down with my elbows. Immediately, my own vision tunneled to nothing as I felt the world fall from beneath me…

_...He is sitting comfortably in a love seat with his legs crossed. He is wearing dark clothing and familiar reading glasses rest on the edge of his nose. I know his face because it haunts my dreams, but this is not my memory. The look of peaceful inquiry on his face is nothing like the cold glare of stone I was used to. Nor were his comfortable clothes, I had only ever seen him in stiff white scrubs._

_What would you like to do today Atom?" A gorgeous woman entered the modest room who resembled Atom so closely I knew it must be his mother. Her long dark hair fell in locks and she wore a flowing skirt that reached down to the floor. I had never seen someone quite so uniquely beautiful. I felt my heart warm for a woman I had never met._

_"Can we play Scrabble? Please, please, mommy?" I felt my mouth move involuntarily, but heard Atom's enthusiastic voice. It was much younger, but I knew it was him._

_"Anything for my little genius." Her long slender arms wrapped around me affectionately and ruffled my hair…_

_"I have a meeting to attend to Atom. I expect your homework to be finished when I return." This was the man I remember. Cold. Hateful._

_"Yes sir." Now Atom's voice was slightly older and no longer held any joy or happiness._

_The same room that had initially felt homely and welcome now felt cold and deserted. I could feel the loss of something so devastating that it hurt to breathe. I just wanted to fill the hole that now pierced my heart. Though I just realized it now, at some point I had made the decision that I would do anything to make the pain go away…_

_...I pushed through the door and stopped dead in my tracks. Monitors lined the walls and scattered among the various data filled computers, I saw myself. I lay in my bed completely still. I must have been around four years old, still at the point of constant fatigue and near comatose. I was so small that the huge, ugly monitors hooked up to my body twisted my stomach in disgust._

_"Atom! What are you doing in here! I told you never to come here." Large, angry hands gripped my shoulders and shoved me back through the door. Not before I got one last look at my pale body through the screens…_

_In an instant, I saw more than I could handle. Atom's family had once been happy. The monster that tortured me my entire life was, in fact, Atom's father. He had once been an aspiring scientist who fell in love with a beautiful woman and had Atom. But she died. And then everything went to hell._

Scattered memories of Atom's childhood seared my eyes. The fonder images of his belated yet fading mother were clouded by the harsh regimen of his father. Atom had been trained mentally and physically to near breaking point. He had been seven years old when he first saw me. Then ten years old the second time. It was only for a few seconds, but I had been listening to a voice recording of my favorite book, lying in bed as usual, with my eyes closed in a rare moment of peace.

He thought I looked like a little angel. So small and vulnerable. Ever since he had first seen my pitifully worn features, he would never forget. He knew in his heart that what he saw was wrong, but the thought honestly never occurred to him that he could do anything about it. His father was ruthless and there was no stopping him.

Though I could have no idea at the time, I had plagued his mind just as his father had mine. Every waking hour was filled with thoughts of what they might be doing to me. If he did ever work up the nerve to confront his father, he would be rewarded with two weeks of silence as punishment. In the rare event that he was able to sneak into his father's observatory, he was able to assure himself that the horrors in his nightmares were real.

Then at seventeen, he saw me for the last time and the worst time.

After my attempted escape, I had been induced into a coma to avoid any more "mishaps." He saw my useless body, barely even recognizable with my shaved head. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the thought that he had seen me like that. Through my eyes I had looked like a monster. But through his, he was the monster.  
>He was twenty-one when he discovered that I was to be sent down to Earth with the other delinquents. Despite his father's protests, he knew what he had to do. For the first time in his life, he defied his father and bought himself a one way ticket to certain death. He actually thought he deserved what might befall him on Earth.<br>However cold-hearted his father was, he did not approve of his apparent suicide mission. But Atom conceded that if it meant the chance to reconcile himself with me, it was worth it. He knew it was crazy, but what the hell.

Somehow, Atom's plan had worked.

He sat in front of me on the drop ship, and though I had been too busy at the time to notice, he had never stopped watching me. He tried to work up the nerve to speak to me, but was interrupted as the ship began to shake. He saw as my seat belt magically snapped open and blood trickled down my nose.

Then flashes of my face told me that he had been silently watching our whole time on Earth. Atom had stayed very close to me at first, marvelling at how strange I was, but not in a creepy scientific way, just admiring. He didn't want me to hate him for what he had done. Or rather, failed to do. So he kept silent until he could find a way to talk to me.

Then he met Octavia.

I saw the intimate moments they shared. He was beginning to remember what the warmth of touch felt like, until Bellamy caught them. Hell hath no fury for a Bellamy scorned. It was typical male chauvinistic attitude, yet Atom pushed his humiliation down, as he had always done with his father. Octavia's cold shoulder to Bellamy made sense as I realized that he had been the reason Atom had broken off their relationship.

However short lived it was, Atom had experienced something he hadn't felt in a long time. He wouldn't completely give up on Octavia, but until then, he would do what he had sworn to do if he survived Earth. Protect me. He had sent Bellamy to retrieve my wristband in hopes of cutting off my connection to the Arc. He had sat across the fire and watched me sleep alone on the ground, then after seeing me shiver, found a tarp to lay over me.

And now, as I knew he lay dying, I could do nothing about it but cry.

"I'm sorry." Somehow I had seen into Atom's life. I had no idea how, but for once, I was grateful for my unexplained powers.

"No Atom, you saved me." The first and only person to care for me was about to die.

"I won't leave you. I promise." A contented sigh slipped through Atom's bloody lips and he was still. My promises died uselessly on my lips as I held death between my fingers for the first time.

"No, no, no!" I shook his body hard, but he was gone. I looked up to the sky and saw the bright twinkle of the Arc, even past the morning light. It seemed like I would never escape him, who I now knew to be Atom's father.

"I hate you!" My voice cracked as I screamed into the abyss. And just like that, the fog seemed to be pushed back by an invisible force field. I didn't even care that I might have done it, but threw myself onto Atom and held him.

"Alice." For a fleeting moment, my heart soared at the possibility that Atom was still alive. Then I was pulled from my delusions as I looked up to see Clarke standing over Atom's lifeless body.

"What happened? Why are you out here?" After I fought past the haze of despair, I remembered that she had asked me to watch over Jasper. If something had happened to him as well, I didn't know what I would do with myself.

Clarke didn't wait for an answer and kneeled down beside Atom, checking for a pulse that wasn't there, "He's gone."

I fell back on my butt and wiped at Atom's blood covering my body. Several footsteps grew near as Wells stepped into the small clearing, followed shortly after by Bellamy and the others. I'm sure the look of horror on their faces matched mine perfectly.

Clarke gently closed Atom's lifeless eyes and stood, "We need to get back to camp."

After one last look, as if they couldn't believe what lay before them, they turned to leave, with the exception of Clarke, Bellamy, and Charlotte.

"You too Charlotte." Bellamy ordered to Charlotte as she stood nearly frozen, eyes wide. With a stern look from Bellamy, she turned and followed the others.

"Alice, are you okay?" Clarke found her way to me and lowered to my level. I felt her hands run through my hair, pushing it out of my face, but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off Atom as flashes of his memory seared my eyes.

"Go. I'll take care of this." Bellamy still stood in front of Atom's body and he nodded down as he spoke to Clarke, "Make sure no one else got caught in the fog."  
>Clarke squeezed my hand and slowly left, giving Bellamy a look that was mixed with worry and need for reassurance that he knew what he was doing.<p>

As Clarke disappeared into the trees, Bellamy warily approached, "He was his son," I knew as I said it that I should have just shut up, "He came for me. He's dead because of me."

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy knelt on one knee in front of me, trying to force my eyes to find his.

"He was a monster, but Atom wasn't. He wasn't scared of me, he wanted to help me."

"You're starting to worry me Alice. Who was a monster? Who are you talking ab…" I realized too late that I had subconsciously pulled my shirt sleeve above my elbow while trying to wipe away the blood. I was quickly snapped out of my daze as Bellamy grabbed my arm with a look in his eyes that said he wasn't going to let it go this time.

"Who did this to you?" His rough hands slid across my scarred arm gently, as if it might break if he pressed too hard.

I hated to cry, especially in front of anyone, but I couldn't help a single tear from slipping across my cheek as his eyes pierced mine.

"No one. Nothing. It's nothing. I'm just… sick." Mostly the truth.

"Who are you Alice?" I couldn't discern the various emotions crossing Bellamy's face all at once.

"I'm just Alice." I pulled my arm away from his hands and stepped away from his warmth towards Atom's cold body.

"You're so much more." I almost thought I didn't hear it, but Bellamy looked away, avoiding my eyes before I could catch his.

"We need to take him back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"After half an hour, we had constructed a stretcher and transferred Atom's body to the makeshift wooden carrier. I stood by Atom's head and waited for Bellamy. We lifted his lifeless body together and carried him in silence back to the camp. I was used to having no control over my life and I was wondering if it had been idiotic to ever believe that I could.

I took the lead, avoiding Bellamy's glare at all costs. As we neared the camp, others hands took the stretcher handles from mine and carried Atom further into the clearing. Atom's death had surely already been spread through the camp, but gasps and murmurs still filled the air as his body was set down by the fire. I couldn't take it anymore.

I slipped back through the crowd and into the woods before anyone could notice or try to stop me. I walked in a daze. The smell of Atom's childhood filled my nostrils and the sounds of his father's scold rang in my ears. Whatever had happened with Atom in the fog was affecting me.

"Alice? What are you doing out here?" My body seemed to be pulled back into itself as Wells stepped from behind a tree. You would think it wouldn't be so hard to be alone in a forest.

All I could think about was how tired I was, "Do you want to know why I'm here?"

"What?" Wells stood back, more than likely scared that I had finally gone crazy.

"They kept me locked up. Did things to me. Changed me." I couldn't stop the words rushing from my mouth. Perhaps if everyone knew the truth, they would send me away. Make the inevitable easier.

"By order of the Chancellor and those before him. They knew the Arc wouldn't last much longer and they were willing to do anything to fix it. If they couldn't survive the radiation, they figured they would embrace it. They injected radiation into my body every day, three times a day. They made me a monster."

Wells stood in silence, eyes wide with horror, "They made me this." I spit out as I raised my hand towards a small rock in between Wells and myself. The rock lifted into the air and blood immediately trickled down from my nose. I focused everything I had on that rock. Every pain and unheard outcry. Even as I felt determination to continue my confession, my heart constricted in anxiety. I felt naked. Completely exposed again. As if I were back in my room on the Arc.

The crack of a branch broke my concentration as Clarke walked from behind the same tree, a look of horror written across her face. The rock disintegrated into a million pieces and fell to the ground at the same moment my own knees hit the forest floor.

"How could they do this?" Clarke turned to Wells in utter shock and confusion.

"I don't know." Wells took a step closer, followed by Clarke.

"Alice. I'm so sorry." It was that simple. They believed me.

"I don't know what to do." I was tired of the constant failures in my life. If they could accept me, maybe there really was hope.

Of course, nothing is really ever that simple.


	10. Episode 4 Part 1

_I ripped the needles and tubes from my body, gasping as blood spurted everywhere, covering the awful white gown I wore. Then I was off. It was only four or five steps to the door, but it felt like an eternity before I reached it. Once my shaking hands reached the hard door, I pushed._

_My arms trembled as a surge of power lept through them, impacting with the door and sending it flying through the air. I heard a grunt as the guard who had been leaning on the door went flying with it. I took one step out into the open cold of a dark room and ran._

_It wasn't long until I slammed arms first into a hard wall. After a moment of confusion from the initial impact, I turned with my back glued to the wall. My eyes struggled to adjust to the dimly lit flickering bulbs. My legs trembled so violently I thought they might fall to pieces. My thoughts were screaming in my head to keep moving, but no matter how hard I tried, my body couldn't seem to handle the shock of finally escaping that room._

_Before me lay a hallway not much larger than my own room containing four doors, including the unhinged entrance to what had become my own personal hell. A black heap lay in front of the farthest door, chest slowly rising and falling. My throat closed at the thought that I could have seriously injured or even killed the guard. A low groan assured me that he was still alive and reminded me that I was still trapped._

_An invisible force seemed to push my legs forward as my hand rested on the door closest to mine. A pulse leapt through my fingertips and took my breath away. I tried for the handle, but quickly drew my hand away as I felt the metal burn red hot against my skin. I felt a nearly uncontrollable urge to see what lay behind the door, but once again, my legs pushed ahead without my control._

_My attention was soon averted as I approached the second door. Feeling the unnerving need to hurry, I pulled on the handle without a second thought. A rush of cold air hit my face as I stumbled through the door…_

"Alice." I realized that I had been staring at nothing in particular for several minutes and Clarke now searched my eyes with an intense gaze.

"Huh?" I couldn't seem to process that my deepest and darkest secret was not just mine anymore. I realized that Wells had left at some point and Clarke and I now sat shoulder to shoulder against a large tree.

Clarke read my expression easily, "Wells thought you might need some space. I wanted to stay and make sure you were okay."

"You're not afraid of me?" Pleasantries weren't a luxury I could afford at that point. I couldn't understand how Clarke and Wells could be so accepting of the monstrosity that I was.

"Of course not. Whatever they did to you… I can't imagine what you've been through." Clarke's face gave away that she truly was remorseful, "I'm sorry."

Her kind and heartfelt words seemed foreign to me. I had never experienced such personal and true emotion forwarded directly towards myself. Laura's actions had been merely a front to keep me subdued and now that I knew what it truly meant for someone to care for me, I couldn't quite accept it.

"I just want it to go away. The memories, the feelings. I want to be free." I was growing restlessly tired of the endless pit of despair that had always been my existence.

Clarke noticed that her stare had begun to make me uncomfortable and faced forward, "That's why you took the band off isn't it? You didn't want the Council to follow you?"

"I know I shouldn't have. This is about more than just me… But… I couldn't handle knowing that they were still controlling a part of me."

"I understand," Clarke seemed to talk to herself, almost in a daze, "I can't believe that the Council could do something like this. She may have let him die, but how could she have let something so inhuman and evil happen right under our noses and do nothing to stop it?"

"She?" A small itch in the back of my neck momentarily disturbed me.

"Alice, I'm sorry. My mother. She's a member of the Council. She knew my father was going to reveal the truth about the Arc's depleting oxygen supply and she turned him in. He was killed because of her. Well's protected me from the truth for so long, but now I know what she did. I promise you that if Wells or I had ever known about you, we would have done something. I just can't believe that my mother or the Chancellor would let something like that happen, no matter how many mistakes they have made."

I now understood the extreme inner turmoil going on inside Clarke's head. I knew too well what it felt like to realize the person you were closest to wasn't what they appeared. She obviously loved her mother despite what she had done, but for some reason, I trusted Clarke. And strangely enough, her mother as well. If she had truly been so evil, how could Clarke have turned out as such a caring and passionate person? However, the thought that everything which had been done to me was done in secret from even the most powerful man on the Arc was highly unsettling. How could they hide such a crime. Unless a blind eye had been cast to the atrocity. Hear no evil, see no evil.

Even through the darkness, I could see the pain in Clarke's eyes. She had just discovered that her own mother had caused the death of her father. She had been lied to and betrayed by someone she cared about. In that moment, I was able to look beyond my own past. Every individual on Earth had been wronged at some point, whether their childhood was taken away like Octavia's, or their future was lost like Atom's, or as both had been robbed from me, there was only one thing those who live could do about it. Survive.

"I'm going to figure it out. I know the Arc has to come down. For right now though, I trust you and that's all I need." A small voice in the back of my head warned me against trusting anybody again so faithfully, but I quickly squashed it out with any other reservations or grudges regarding my future.

Clarke gave me a small smile and, to my surprise, wrapped her hand in mine, "We're going to figure this out. I won't leave you. I promise" A sharp spike of pain shot through my head as Clarke's strangely sentimental words triggered a horrid feeling of loss and my eyes rolled back into my skull.

_"I won't leave you. I promise." A contented sigh slipped through Atom's bloody lips and he was still. My promise died uselessly on my lips as I held death between my fingers for the first time. But something wasn't quite right._

_The green forest flickered to the nauseating florescent lights of the Arc and Atom's face hazily faded in and out. In the blink of an eye, the trees and grass were replaced with a close replica of my own room. My fitted dark clothes had transformed into the same hideously bloody gown I ruined in my attempted escape long ago._

_To my utter horror, Atom's limp body in my arms was traded for a much smaller, unconscious girl. Her dark skin radiated with heat so intense I swear I could see a red glow pulsing from her body. She wore a loose white t shirt and shorts. Where her bare skin met mine, I could see my own redden and itch in small first degree burns. My heart beat at an unimaginable rate as bangs sounded from the closed door._

_Past the tears that filled my eyes, I knew the girl that lay in my arms was dead. The medical machines surrounding us were black, as if they had long ago been turned off and left to sit unused. The only sign of power lay in the small red light of her wristband. _

_Before I could truly register the scene playing out before me, my body seemed to act on autopilot, gently setting the body down and turning back towards the door. In three long strides, I reached for the handle and pushed forward…_

_A rush of cold air hit my face as I stumbled through the door…_

_I covered my eyes in reaction to the gush of air and found that I had somehow entered into the same room as before instead of the hallway, as if caught in the middle of a time loop. _

_The same girl sat atop her bed, now alive with her knees curled into her arms and short black hair messily draped across her shoulders. At first, she didn't seem to respond to my noisy entrance. I looked back towards the quiet hallway with the still unconscious guard. I was positive someone had already been alerted to the sudden termination of my own wristband. I didn't have much time._

_As I turned back to face the girl, her head raised in alert and I gasped as I saw her face. Her large eyes were a matted red and small cracks ran down the skin on the sides of her cheeks. Somehow I knew without a doubt that she was like me. Another experiment._

_"Alice." She said my name with certainty, almost excitement._

_"How do you know my name?" Almost simultaneously, the door slammed shut behind me, causing me to jump. Goose bumps rose on my arms as I knew she had done it._

_"I'm Belle." Despite the blood now running from her eyes and nose, I found her to be almost angelic. She was beautiful._

_I walked forward in urgency, remembering that I didn't have much time left. Before I could say another word, vicious bangs sounded on the door. I was out of time._

_"Don't leave me." Her desperate plea broke my heart._

_"Can you move?" From the looks of her malnourished arms and legs nearly thinned to the bone, I feared she wouldn't make it far._

_"I know you always forget us. But this time I want you to remember me. You'll get out of here even if I don't." I could only guess that her sickness was so severe it had begun to affect her mentally. Nothing she said made any sense to me._

_Belle raised her hand in expectation and after a moment's hesitation, I sat down beside her fragile body. Her small fingers slid past my hair and onto the small patch of skin underneath my earlobe. A stinging sensation burned through my neck as I felt her fingers trace scorching lines across my skin. I reached up to touch the spot, but quickly drew away in pain._

_"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll be waiting." Something inside my body sparked at the seemingly delusional babble, but I was soon distracted by the increased banging on the door._

_"We have to get out of here. If we could just find a way. Someone might see us and help." I knew I was reaching far. I began to think that my intentions were failed from the start. But now, there truly was something important on the line. I couldn't let Belle die in that room._

_I reached to pull Belle into my arms, but her broken body began to seize, shaking in horrible ways. Her dark skin radiated with heat so intense I swear I could see a red glow pulsing from her body. Somehow, she was burning from the inside out. _

_"Please don't go." Her soft breaths quieted into a low mantra of pleas._

_"I won't leave you. I promise." …_

My throat and chest felt as if they were about to collapse as my eyes rolled back into their sockets and I awoke to find I was alone again. The light of dawn shone through the treetops and my stomach dropped as I saw what lay before me. For at least ten feet in front of me, the morning dew had eerily gravitated into the air, sitting completely still in the open space. I reached to touch one drop lying directly in front of my face and it popped, causing me to jump and bursting the other beads of water in a chain reaction.

I reached for my nose instinctively, but was surprised to find no blood, only a mild headache. I couldn't handle the thought that I might be getting used to the powers. That would mean I truly was becoming the monster I feared.

With the momentary silence came the memory of my strange dream. After I had woken up on the drop ship, I hadn't much time to reflect on the day I tried to escape. I found that if I tried too strongly to recall the events, my mind seemed to stop functioning properly. With all that had been done to me, I wasn't necessarily shocked at the thought that my mind was, for lack of a better word, broken.

The thought that Belle could have been real, however, sent me reeling. If she was real, then that meant she had died in my arms. I had left her in that room. It was obvious that her treatments had been less successful. They had killed her in the end.

I suppose it was foolish to believe that I was the only one whose life they had stolen and ruined.

Before I could keep to the hope that Belle was merely a figment of my twisted imagination, a horrid feeling filled my body as my hand reached up to the small under my ear and felt a slightly raised outline of what felt like the outlining shape of a star. That was her reminder to me.

What I had hoped to be a dream was a small fragment of a memory. After I had escaped my room, I happened upon Belle while trying to find a way out. The slither of recollection had come to me in scrambled pieces, hence the perplexing time hop through the door. My memory of what happened afterwards was fuzzy at best.

There was so much I didn't know and I was absolutely lost as to how to remember. Perhaps that was why she had marked me. I despaired at the thought that she had known her memory could only live through someone else. She had known that she was dying. Although her body seemed much smaller than mine, I guessed she was slightly older than myself. Hundreds of questions spiraled through my head. Had she been hidden away her whole life like me? Did Laura lie to her as she had me and gain her trust only to completely destroy all hope of love and affection?

Like most of my life, however, I had to push the thoughts and feelings deep down and continue on. What else could I do?

My fears and anxieties were interrupted as my wandering mind seemed to come back into my body and down to Earth. It didn't seem like Clarke to leave me in the woods like I was. Something had happened no doubt. I pushed my sore body up from the moist ground and headed back to camp.

I felt my damp shirt cling to my body and for once, I was grateful that the scars were the only physical deformity I had been left with. Whatever they had done to Belle had transformed her. It had burned her from the inside out. It angered me that I didn't know more about her, for some reason I felt that I should.

It wasn't long before I neared camp and stumbled upon Clarke facing with her back to me, leaning against a small tree.

"Clarke?" I saw her jump slightly at the sound of my voice, but she must have recognized me because she made no move to turn. For a fleeting moment, my insecurities got the best of me and I feared that she had finally understood what I was and couldn't stand to be with a freak.

If only that were the case.

"Wells is dead."


	11. Episode 4 Part 2

"What?" I felt as if something had been shoved into my throat and now constricted my airway. Clarke made no move to face me despite my growing anxiety.

"You said you were okay so I went back to camp just before the sun came up. I didn't know that he never came back or I would have looked. They just found his body outside of the camp. He was stabbed in the neck."

"I don't understand." I was at a loss for words. Clarke hadn't left me unwarranted, somehow I must have unknowingly spoken to her in a semi-conscious state. And while I was walking down twisted memory lane, Wells had been murdered. My body finally seemed to numb from the restless horror that never seemed to end.

I had only known Wells for a short time, but he was one of very few people that had glimpsed who, or rather what I truly was. He hadn't forsaken me, in fact, I had seen kindness and compassion in his eyes when I had finally revealed myself to him and Clarke. He was the son of the man I had thought to be one of my greatest torturers, but I felt my heart ache at the thought that his life, just as Atom's, had been stolen.

"He's gone. For so long, he let me hate him just to protect me. We barely had the chance to talk to each other again. Before you came in the woods, he told me the truth about my mother." Clarke finally turned to face me and I saw her red-rimmed eyes fill with pain.

I realized what her words truly meant and felt my face crumble, "Clarke, I'm so sorry. It's my fault you couldn't talk to him longer. If he had stayed with you, he wouldn't have been killed. Oh God no." I grabbed my chest in fear my beating heart might break out of my chest.

Clarke made a face that I couldn't quiet make out, then laughed. There was no humor behind her almost maniacal hysterics, but I could recognize a certain helplessness in her eyes that I had been long accustomed to.

In two long strides Clarke hugged me tight in her shaking arms. After a moment of shock, I hugged her back, "This isn't your fault Alice. We could have never known this would happen. The last thing Wells would want is for you to blame yourself. This is their fault. It's all their fault."

Clarke pulled away and I didn't have to ask to know who she now referred to. The Council. Her mother. Everyone put on that drop ship had been played as pawns in their demented chess game. Whatever excuses that might have been given, when it came down to it, we had been sacrificed.

Unsure of what to say, I noticed Clarke no longer wore a wristband. Her eyes caught mine staring at her bare wrist but I decided not to comment. I, unfortunately, knew exactly what it meant. Everything she had been holding so strongly to was gone. She wanted to punish her mother so she let her think she was dead.

"Monty needed a working wristband." She said simply, self consciously rubbing her wrist. I only nodded in understanding.

"We should get back to camp. If the Grounders are still out here, we're walking targets. I'm sorry I didn't come back for you. I just didn't know what I was doing." Clarke looked to me for forgiveness and I nodded again with a smile that didn't quiet reach my heart.

I noticed for the first time that makeshift walls were being constructed around the drop ship. While I had been so consumed with my own conflict, I had been completely oblivious to the rudimentary fort that had been created out of our landing site. Bellamy had created an efficient work ethic and somehow convinced everyone to more or less work together.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you…" Clarke began, but I was hit with two long arms around my waist before I could hear the rest. I looked up to meet eyes with a seemingly oblivious Jasper sporting a lopsided grin. For the first time in a while, my smile wasn't fake or forced.

"Jasper! You're okay. I'm so glad!" I awkwardly hugged him back as Monty warily approached from behind.

"Me too... 'Til I found the fingers and now Wells is dead. Did you know Wells is dead?" Jasper's face was quickly transformed into a sad mope amidst his slurred words. I noticed his eyes were slightly glazed over and red.

Monty put his hand on Jasper's shoulder to steady him as he backed away clumsily, "We gave him a little too much alcohol to help the pain. He's drunk."

I had only briefly read of alcohol and its unfortunate effects on the human mind. It happened to be one of the few things that I didn't particularly yearn to experience if I ever escaped.

"I'm not drunk. I feel fine!" Jasper nearly tripped as he turned to face Monty.

"Yeah I know. Come on buddy, let's go look at the wristband again." Monty gave an uneasy nod of condolence to Clarke, then started dragging Jasper towards the drop ship.

"Bye Alice! Clarke don't worry, we'll get those damn Grounders back." Jasper's pitiful call to arms as he threw his fist into the air would have been comical if it weren't for the unfortunate reminder that Wells was murdered and everyone could still be in danger.

Bellamy and Octavia walked towards Clarke and myself, carrying a different kind of repressed tension than usual. Flashes of Octavia through Atom's eyes answered any suspicion I might have had. She obviously blamed Bellamy for his death. I would have to find a way to pass on Atom's deeper unspoken affection for Octavia. It was the least I could do for him.

Octavia nodded silently in what I was beginning to dub the ever charming 'Blake Sibling Salutation,' while Bellamy seemed to study me as if I might explode right then and there. And for all I knew, I could have.

After a small awkward silence, Clarke ignored any pleasantries, "Have you found anything on the Grounders?"

"Nothing." Bellamy finally looked away from me to answer Clarke.

"Which is why we should send some people out to look for something, anything to figure all this out." Finn now joined the small gathering standing next to Clarke.

"No one is willing to go within ten feet outside of the walls, not with Grounders on the rampage." Bellamy countered with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"I will." I didn't realize I had said it until all eyes were on me. It was time I started doing something other than complain.

"Good. We'll go now. The rest of you, keep working on the wall, the quicker we can get that thing up, the safer we all are." Finn spoke with an air of authority, as if he had already decided it was final.

"Are you sure Alice?" Octavia asked what both Clarke and Bellamy looked to be thinking.

"Yes." I took the small hatchet Finn handed me from his backpack and tried to assure Clarke with as much confidence as I could muster.

Finn turned to leave, expecting me to follow. As I moved to leave, Bellamy grabbed my arm and lowered his voice only for me, "Be careful Alice." I didn't say anything for fear that I might break down right there, but instead kept walking with my face forward.

I could feel the tension in the air as murmurs of Wells' murder spread on the tips of nervous tongues. Wells was believed to be killed by Grounders, but something in the pit of my stomach told me different. I hated to think it, but it seemed that the Grounders would have made a warning of Wells as they had Jasper. It didn't make any sense to kill one of us only to leave his body hidden away where it might not be found. Which meant the killer might be in the camp. However, I wasn't just yet willing to admit that.

"You're not like the rest of them, are you? Every time I think I've got you figured out, you do something that makes me think twice." After only ten minutes of quiet, Finn broke the silence of our little investigation.

"Why does everyone want to figure me out?" I asked half in irritation, half in confused honesty.

"I don't know. There's just something about you I can't put my finger on. In a good way of course. You don't seem like the garden variety criminal if you know what I mean. You're not much the garden variety of anything." Finn showcased his ability to be easily distracted as he lost focus and began walking seemingly without a purpose.

"What about you? You don't exactly scream evil mastermind." On second thought, his devilishly mysterious grin made me slightly unsure as to what he was truly capable of.

"Evil mastermind huh? Would you like to see my lair?" Finn's sparkly eyes shone through his disheveled bangs as he leaned over and grabbed hold of a handle connected to a small circular metal slab on the ground.

I took a tentative step forward and Finn grabbed two flashlights from his backpack, throwing one to me and motioning to go down with the other. With a fleeting uncertainty, I stepped into the dark hole and clumsily found my footing on a thin metal step. I looked at Finn's smiling face one last time before I descended into darkness.

The cold smell of metal momentarily shocked me as the nostalgia of the Arc plagued my mind. I jumped at the touch of a strong hand on the middle of my back but was quickly calmed as Finn's flashlight illuminated his dark reassuring eyes close to my own. Our stare broke contact as he faced forward and pushed on my back, silently encouraging me to continue on. I fumbled for the power switch on my flashlight and contained a gasp as my eyes adjusted to what lay before me.

Shelves of various household items and cardboard boxes lined the walls. Everything looked as if it had been untouched for a very long time. It was obvious that whoever had created the underground shelter had been trying to protect themselves against the radiation. From the absence of life, it seemed that it didn't quite pan out.

I found myself distracted by what looked like two tiny little green plastic legs sticking out from behind the bottom of a desk while Finn produced a lighter and began to light several candles in various places around the room.

"Cool isn't it?" Finn's grin spread from cheek to cheek. I couldn't stop my own mouth from twitching into a small smile.

"How did you find this?"

"I have my ways. Let's just say while you were out slaying bears I was exploring." Finn rummaged through one of the larger cardboard boxes against the walls.

"Here. I guess you didn't get the forecast before we came down here. I figured you would like this." I grabbed the dark clothing Finn had pulled out of the box and held it out in front of me. A jacket, similar in light green color to his own. Though I wasn't chilly before, the light material served as my own armor, guarding me from what lay in the cold. It wasn't the nice fit or the smooth material that comforted me, but the thought that Finn had brought me to this secret place and given it to me himself.

I had long ago realized that there was much more to Finn that what he might allow others to see. I found myself wanting to trust him almost as much as I wanted to figure out who he truly was. He was different than everybody else, somehow never discouraged by the situation. At least that's what he wanted them to think.

"Shouldn't we keep looking for signs of the Grounders?" As I asked the question I realized I didn't really want to leave the trove of treasures just yet.

"If the Grounders don't want to be found then they won't be found. If they even did it." Finn seemed to voice my own concerns, yet he sounded quiet unconcerned with it all as he flopped himself on top of a dark couch and spread his legs on the table in front of it.

Not able to help myself, I set my hatchet and flashlight down, kneeling down beside the strange object on the ground and pulled it out from its hiding place, "It's Michelangelo!"

I turned to show Finn the small nunchuck wielding mutant and stood in pitiful excitement, however Finn seemed more interested in a small toy version of what I believed was called a car.

"The painter?"

"The turtle!" That got his attention. He haphazardly set the car down on the ground beside the couch and leaned forward, quizzically staring at the plastic figure in my hands, then at me.

"Michelangelo the... turtle?" I could see the curious amusement written across his face.

"The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Michelangelo is the orange one, see?" I made to sit next to Finn on the couch and couldn't stop the awkward excitement that caused me to ramble on, "I used to love to read about them fighting crime and eating pizza when I was in my.. when I was on the Arc."

Finn's glare seemed to pierce holes through me, but he ignored my small mistake smoothly and continued to hold an expression of humor, "You like books, huh? Well you should see this then."

I followed Finn and his flashlight into the farthest corner of the dimly lit room and stopped dead in my tracks. Three large shelves held hundreds of real paper books in every color and size imaginable. Something so simple had seemed so magical to me in my seclusion.

"Go ahead. Take a look." My heart dropped at the reminder that I was robbed of the chance to ever truly learn to read. The device I had been given in the Ark did not contain a working screen, only barely functioning directional buttons. Laura had said that it was defective, which was why I was able to use it so frequently without question. The cracked screen rarely ever displayed text, but instead produced audio recordings and occasionally distorted illustrations to accompany them. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being one comic that contained mostly images.

Even if I had been able to correlate the complex wording on the screen to the audio, my mental capacity for symbols was simply retarded. A skill that might have seemed like a luxury taken for granted by people such as Clarke and Finn was something that I believed I could never have. However, I wasn't one to completely give up.

I scanned the rows of books, gently sliding my fingers across the hard spines and inhaling the foreign smell of musty paper. I had no idea what they said, but stopped short as I spotted one small illustration that I recognized. I pulled the relatively small book out of its long lived home and brushed the dust off of the cover.

"Peter and Wendy? We did a lesson over that in Classic Literature. I always thought Peter was a bit of jerk." Finn leaned against one of the shelves and drew small circles in the dust.

The name struck a chord in my heart. I faintly remembered the children's story from long ago. But the name Peter brought forth a string of emotions that I couldn't explain. With that unease came the bitter warning that something awful was about to happen.

"You don't think the Grounders did it do you? It was one of us." I clutched the book tightly and looked to Finn, whose usually unaffected face grew dark and nodded in agreement.

"We have to go back. Something isn't right." I tucked the book into a pocket inside the seams of the jacket and grabbed my hatchet on the way to the ladder of the closed hatch.

"Wait Alice, what do you mean?" Finn rushed to blow out the candles scattered across the room but I was already up and out of the hatch.

Something was terribly wrong.

The underground room wasn't too far from the camp and as I neared, I could hear the shouts of several people just to the left of the half built wall. Though I couldn't make out any words, I could clearly understand the rage and outcry of an upset mob. I suppose they had found the killer.

Chants of Bellamy's name sounded and I could just barely hear Clarke's voice crack in pleading. As I emerged between two trees I felt bile rise in my throat at the sight of Grumpy, covered in his own blood and gagged, a rope hanging around his neck. Clarke tried desperately to get past Bellamy, who easily pushed her back.

Somehow, Bellamy noticed me in all of the commotion and I saw a look of desperation in his own eyes. In a fraction of a second, he turned away from Clarke and myself and kicked the supply bin holding Grumpy into the air out from underneath his feet.

I stood frozen as Grumpy's body snapped up from the initial fall and he began to shake under the pressure of the rope. Even from twenty feet away, I could see the whites of his terrified eyes amidst all of the blood.

"How could you do this?" Clarke screamed to Bellamy in an angry, broken voice.

"This is on you Princess. You should have kept your mouth shut!" Bellamy countered with just as much anger and anguish.

I felt my grip tighten on the hatchet and just as Finn arrived behind me, I threw the sharp metal directly towards the branch where the rope hung around the bark. Grumpy dropped to the ground hard and the crowd quieted. Clarke made to help him, but a boy, one of Bellamy's, grabbed her roughly by the arms and held her back.

"What the hell are you doing?" Finn yelled and we both charged through the uneasy crowd towards Clarke and Grumpy. I felt a strength that I could barely control push those nearly twice my height out of the way. As Finn reached the boy holding Clarke, she was thrown to the side and the boy drew out a sharp makeshift shank from his pocket.

I made my way to Grumpy, shoving anyone unfortunate enough to get in the way, and pulled a knife from his pant legs, using it to cut the rope digging into his throat. His desperate gasps for air were cut off by the outcries of the people. I met brief eye contact with him before turning to the others.

I turned to see Finn being held by knife point and Clarke trying desperately to now reach him. The situation was getting further out of hand by the second. From the corner of my eye, I could see Octavia trying to hold Charlotte back but before she could stop her, Charlotte escaped her grasp and screamed in pain, "Just stop okay! Murphy didn't kill Wells. I did!"

Murmurs of disbelief sounded through the crowd and tears ran down Charlotte's face. Those who had stood back and watched less encouragingly now rushed to Grumpy's side and helped to untangle him from the ropes.

With one last look to Grumpy, I pushed through the insufferably crowded gathering and grabbed Charlotte, "Come on." There wasn't much time to act. Once everyone had regrouped, I'm sure they would turn to a new person to punish. Thankfully, Charlotte followed without resistance, she seemed to be too shocked to do anything else. Bellamy seemed to understand what I anticipated and took position in front of me, pushing everyone out of the way. Clarke and Finn quickly fell behind us and we made our way to one of the smaller tents.

As soon as we entered Bellamy turned to Charlotte, "Why Charlotte?"

"I was just trying to slay my demons, like you told me." Bellamy looked to me with a face that looked as shocked as I felt.

"Bring us the girl Bellamy." Grumpy's scratchy voice sounded from outside the tent, ready for revenge.

"What the hell is she talking about?" I could feel the edge in Clarke's voice. I couldn't imagine how she must feel.

"She misunderstood me," Bellamy seemed nearly at a loss for words, "Charlotte, that's not what I meant."

I looked through the small opening of the zipper and saw that the crowd now formed around the tent, "Bring the girl out now!" I shuddered at the pure hatred in Grumpy's voice.

"Please don't let them hurt me." Charlotte pleaded.

"We won't." I grabbed Charlotte's small hand and she momentarily flashed to Belle, tiny and fragile, pleading for help.

"Anybody got any bright ideas speak up now." Bellamy's entire body seemed tense, much like everyone else in the tent, but no one answered.

"Now you stay quiet?!" Bellamy threw his hand up in frustration.

"Those are your boys out there." Finn accused.

"This is not my fault. If she had listened to me those idiots would still be building the wall." Bellamy motioned to Clarke who paced with her hand on her forehead.

"You want to build a society Princess? Let's build a society. Bring her out!" Grumpy chided from only fifteen feet away with a newly aroused mob behind him.

I could only guess that Clarke had meant to punish the killer, but some people had taken it a little too literally. I had no real concept of government or corporal punishment, but I liked to think that most everyone has at one point had at least an ounce of goodness in them and it could always be reached with enough care. It didn't make sense to me that they could so easily condemn each other as they themselves had been condemned.

"What are we going to do? Please Bellamy." Charlotte began to cry in earnest and Bellamy leaned over to face her.

"It's going to be okay, just stay with them." As he grabbed her arms gently in assurance, Bellamy looked to the three of us then slipped out of the tent.

Finn looked towards a small rip in the back of the tent and silently nodded in that direction, then followed Bellamy out. Without a word, Clarke and I ushered the shaking Charlotte through the opening and silently into the woods. Somehow, I knew where Finn intended us to go. I took the lead and let Clarke and Charlotte follow behind quietly.

The forest shadows began to creep out as evening began to pass. We had to circle around the camp and back towards where I had first encountered the angry mob and from there, I retraced my steps.

My concentration was broken after several quiet moments as Clarke indignantly exclaimed, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Just because we saved you doesn't mean you're forgiven. Got it?" I had never heard her speak so coldly and I found myself nearly scared of her. Charlotte's face crumbled.

"She's just a kid." I tried to argue in Charlotte's defense, though I felt an inner turmoil arise as to how I truly felt about it.

"She's a killer." Clarke turned to Charlotte and spoke directly, as if she needed her to understand how she felt, "You killed someone Charlotte. Ended his life! Did you stop to think about that for even one second? Look at me, you can't just kill someone to make yourself feel better!" Clarke's words seemed lost as Charlotte stood frozen in fear with a trembling lip.

Demented screams of Charlotte's name warned us that the hunt had begun and they were getting close. Too close.

"We should run." Clarke grabbed Charlotte and I looked around in despair for the metal slab.

"Wait, it's here!" I hurriedly dropped down to the handle and pulled the heavy latch open.

"Get in!" I ushered them in despite their questioning gazes and followed after into the pitch black. I stuck my shaking hands out and moved in the general direction of the table I had set the flashlight down earlier. My hands connected with plastic and I quickly flipped the switch, followed by Clarke turning her own flashlight on.

The room seemed more eery with a looming threat over our heads. Literally. Clarke and Charlotte tentatively explored the room with the same amazement I had just hours ago.

"What is this place?"

"For now, shelter. Finn showed me while we were out searching." I followed Finn's actions from earlier and lit the same candles he had. The exhaustion seemed to set in from all of the excitement and the flickering flames of the candles turned my eyes to lead. I noticed Charlotte was feeling the same effects.

Clarke gave a wary glance towards Charlotte, then continued to look around the room.

"Why don't you lie down. I'll stay up, if anyone comes near I promise I'll wake you up." I showed Charlotte a small wired bed in the corner and she readily sat down on it.

"Do you think they'll kill me?" Her big brown eyes were filled with remorse and fear that I thought only I had ever felt as a child. No one so young should have to feel such things.

"I won't let them. We'll run away together if we have to. But for now, just get some sleep." I gently laid her down and pulled the covers over her shoulders. It was only seconds before she was asleep.

"I can't believe he kept this place hidden. Some of this stuff could be useful." Clarke sifted through jars and boxes.

"I'm sure he had his reasons. I wouldn't delve too deep into the meaning of anything he does. You wouldn't get very far." I cautiously lowered myself onto the same couch Finn had slouched on and Clarke followed after discarding her bag.

"What are we going to do about her? If I hadn't confronted Murphy none of this would have happened." Clarke's face held mixed emotions as she looked towards Charlotte's sleeping figure.

"You were just trying to do the right thing. You couldn't have known this would happen." I tried to reassure her.

"Bellamy knew. We think the Grounders are a threat. Now we're killing each other? There have to be consequences."

"Look where that got us now." I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth and I saw Clarke's pained look.

"We'll figure this all out. Hopefully before anyone else gets hurt. They don't seem the type to forgive and forget." I grabbed Clarke's hand and held tight.

It seemed as if I closed my eyes for only just a moment and awoke to find that both Clarke and I had fallen asleep sitting upright on the couch. Though it didn't feel like it, I knew several hours had passed by the dwindling candle wax. As I sat up to stretch my back and straighten my new jacket, I noticed that Charlotte's bed was empty and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Clarke, wake up! She's gone." I felt the panic rise in my stomach as I grabbed Clarke's bag and raced up the ladder once again with Clarke behind me now. Following nothing but the direction my feet took me, we flew through the trees and stopped at the sounds of Charlotte's name being called. It was well into the night but the blood thirst was so strong that it didn't matter. A scream that was undeniably Charlotte's sent me running in that direction.

I realized that we were nearing the cliff that I had thrown the bear off of what seemed like ages ago and my chest constricted. This couldn't end well. I only had to follow the burning lights of the torches and Clarke and I burst into the clearing where Bellamy stood protectively between Charlotte and Grumpy's gang with his back to the cliff.

"You cannot fight all of us. Just give up." Grumpy's smile was truly scary against the shadows of the night.

"Maybe not, but I guarantee I'll take two of you with me."

"Bellamy! Stop! This has gone too far. Just calm down and we'll talk about this." Clarke pleaded where I was certain she would find no reason. Grumpy had been betrayed and humiliated, and despite his man hunt, I could see how scared he truly was. He was just a kid. We were all just kids.

Clarke threw herself between Grumpy and Bellamy and before I could react, Grumpy had her by the neck with a knife to her skin, "I am sick of listening to you talk."

Finn appeared from behind the trees and advanced dangerously close to Grumpy, "Let her go."

"I will slit your throat." Grumpy warned. I slowly inched forward while no one was looking.

"No! Please don't hurt her." Charlotte piped up from behind Bellamy.

"Don't hurt her? Okay I'll make you a deal. You come with me right now, I will let her go."

"Don't do it Charlotte." Clarke knew that despite what had happened, she couldn't let Charlotte go with Grumpy. Charlotte struggled to get past Bellamy, but he quickly stilled her.

"No I have to." Charlotte's face seemed completely exhausted.

I moved closer to Grumpy and Clarke.

"Murphy, this is not happening." Bellamy stood defiantly.

"I can't let any of you get hurt anymore. Not because of me. Not after what I did." I could see it happen before anyone. Clarke called out to her but we were all too late. In the blink of an eye, she had jumped to her death. I raced to the edge of the cliff, nearly falling over myself beside Bellamy and Clarke, who now cried hysterically.

Bellamy, however, handled it differently. I didn't have time to fully process what had happened before Bellamy had risen and advanced on Murphy.

"Bellamy…" Murphy hadn't intended it to go so far, it was clear to see. It had nevertheless.

Bellamy charged for Murphy and they went flying. I heard skin break and bones connect as Bellamy started bashing his face in.

"Bellamy stop, you'll kill him." I advanced on the two but Finn stepped in front of me and dragged Bellamy away.

"Get off me. He deserves to die!"

Clarke stepped forward once again and pushed Bellamy away, "No, we don't decide who lives and dies. Not down here."

"So help me God if you say the people have a right to decide I'll.."

"No! I was wrong before okay? You were right. Sometimes it's dangerous to tell people the truth. But if we're going to survive down here we can't just live by whatever the hell we want. We need rules."

"And who makes those rules, huh, you?" Bellamy wiped his forehead in frustration, revealing his bloodied knuckles.

"For now we make the rules. Okay?"

"So what then? We just take him back and pretend like it never happened?"

"No, we banish him." Clarke's solution unsettled me.

I looked to Murphy who was now even more bloodied than before, barely able to breath through the blood in his mouth and nose. Bellamy grabbed Murphy and dragged him towards the cliff.

"Bellamy. Stop." Clarke cried in fear he might throw him over.

"If I ever catch you near camp. We'll be back here. Understand?" Bellamy's deep voice held an awful malice and Murphy did all he could to nod. Bellamy threw him to the side and continued to the rest of the hunting passe, "As for the four of you, you can come back and follow me or go off with him to die. Your choice."

As Bellamy stormed off back towards camp, everyone slowly followed one after the other, leaving Murphy alone on his hands and knees. I walked up to his broken form and stopped.

"I can forgive you." I didn't really know what it meant, but I slid Clarke's bag full of supplies off my shoulder and laid it down next to Murphy, then followed the others.

Just outside of the camp wall, I fell to my knees and sat on my feet. Everyone I had promised to protect was dead. One way or another I had failed. I had killed them.

I was poison.


	12. Episode 5 Part 1

"That's where I'll be waiting." Belle's small voice echoed subconsciously through my thoughts and brought my hand up involuntarily into the hidden seams where I had earlier stashed the book. I still sat in the silence of the dark night, believing everybody to have retired to the camp with the dark reminder that another life had been lost.

I pulled the book out and gingerly opened the pages to a familiarly peculiar illustration. Peter and the Darling children floated happily in the air as they snatched the food from the mouths of birds to feed themselves along their flight to Neverland. As majestic and wonderful as flying might have seemed, it turned out to be quite a disaster for the struggling children. I could clearly remember the monotone artificial voice which read to me of mermaid lagoons and pirate ships, but as I glanced over the words, my vision blurred and nothing more was recognizable.

My dirty fingers grazed over the misshapen symbols and balled into a fist. Just as I knew my mind couldn't process the words, I felt there was so much more just beyond my grasp. Important pieces that I had somehow lost along the way.

Memories of Belle were shrouded in confusion and chaos. I felt an unspoken connection to her that went far beyond our short time together. The same connection existed with the book. With so many questions, I desperately tried to fight away the hysteria that crept just beneath my skin.

"You shouldn't be out here." Finn's carefully even face emerged from the shadows interrupting my thoughts, and just like that, the thread of memory that I had just begun to weave together was unraveled and tossed into the wind.

It was clear that the same horrific visions of Charlotte which had plagued my mind were piercing his own thoughts, "Do you think she felt it?" I nearly winced at the emptiness of my voice. After so many tragedies, I was beginning to realize just how powerless we all were.

"Honestly, yes." The shadows hanging over Finn's face made his statement all the more horrifying.

"What do we do?" I was all too aware of the feelings of loss, but I had never before felt the heartbreak of making a connection with someone, however small, only to realize that they were gone forever. The faces of Atom, Wells, and Charlotte swirled in my vision.

"We never forget. Charlotte died thinking she was protecting us. She knew she would face consequences for what she had done and she believed death was the answer. She was wrong. Death is never the answer." Finn's round eyes were deep in thought. I recognized a familiarity with tragedy in his words that lead me to believe he was no stranger to death.

"To die would be an awfully big adventure." The words came out before I could stop myself. Though I knew the phrase lay in the very book I had stashed back into my jacket, I felt there was something much more important behind their meaning than I could even begin to recognize.

"Maybe we could hold off on that adventure just for now." Finn displayed a rarely witnessed serious side as he stepped forward and held his hand out to me.

My stomach turned as my ears picked up a noise so quiet it was barely audible. A rustle in the trees covered a small grunt and the wind screeched, followed by three small clicks. I grasped hold of Finn's right hand, catching hold of his large wristband.

Everything slowed and I heard a small rip and slush sound as three tiny arrows flew into the ground before us. A spark in my lower abdomen spread through my body and to my hand gripping the wristband, causing a small pop and sending a nearly invisible shudder through the trees. Finn barely noticed the shock as he ducked the arrows in surprise.

"Grounders!" There was little time to think as he pulled me through the small clearing and towards the walls of the camp.

I guessed that the news of Charlotte's death and Murphy's banishment had spread and most everyone now sat attentively around the dwindling fire. We were met with anxious glares as we stumbled past the walls and towards a far corner of the camp. Three of Bellamy's watchmen quickly surrounded us, no doubt having heard Finn's warning call.

"Grounders in the trees." Finn didn't need to say more before someone ran to Bellamy's tent and he quickly emerged, still covered in Murphy's blood.

Bellamy joined the small group with a nervous glance over the camp. Connor, one of the rowdier delinquents, rushed up from behind and relayed between shaking breaths, "I saw everything. The Grounders. It was two of them. They were knocked out of the trees. They got up and ran away."

"Are you sure?" Bellamy's voice lowered in menace as he pulled Connor away from hearing range of the other campers. I could understand Bellamy's questioning look. The Grounders weren't raiding the camp, otherwise we would have all already been dead. I knew there was more to the attack than what met the eye, but I couldn't process much beyond the vicious beating of my heart.

The campers curious stares turned to murmurs and I felt a rising suspicion that something else had transpired in the short time that I had been gone. A disturbed Clarke emerged from the drop ship, quickly noticing the small congregation and joining in, "What's going on?"

"The Grounders are trying to pick us off one by one. They attacked Finn and Alice outside of the wall." Bellamy seemed to already be processing the situation with the trained mind of a soldier.

"Are you okay?" Clarke brought the attention to Finn and myself. Bellamy looked to me as if he just realized one of us might be hurt. I self consciously slipped my sweaty hands into the pockets of my jacket.

"We're fine, but we need to alert the camp." Finn spoke for me.

"No. There's no need to scare everyone. This was a planned attack. They waited until you were alone. As long as we stay together and in the walls, we will be safe." Bellamy seemed so sure of himself I couldn't help but believe him, "Everybody back to your posts, we're doubling up from now on. No one goes anywhere alone at night. I want your eyes sharp and your ears sharper."

Though they did not seem completely convinced, the rest of the patrol followed his orders like dogs, too afraid to question if he was wrong. The alternative was much worse after all. The idea that we might be under attack was too terrifying to dwell on.

With the disbanding of the watchmen, the attention of our little audience was quickly averted. No one outside of the small circle knew of the Grounder attack, yet there was an unmistakable tension in the air. Bellamy's face revealed that he felt it as well and Clarke quickly noticed our perplexed looks.

"You got your wish. All of the wristbands are fried. The transmission to the Arc didn't work." Clarke spat at Bellamy before storming off. Finn looked at his own wristband in shock and ran his hands through his hair in desperation. He gave me one last look of misery and followed behind Clarke.

I was left with a conflicted looking Bellamy and the spark in my side turned to a stinging cramp. The realization that any chance of contact with the Arc was gone hit me like a rock. I could feel my entire body break out in a sweat and had to fight to stay standing.

"You wanted them to come down?" Bellamy's eyes pierced mine as he closely studied my face.

"I don't want them to die." It was the truth. I didn't want anybody else to die.

Bellamy only looked down then turned away, and I was completely alone. My vision clouded as I stumbled to my normal resting spot in front of the drop ship. No one seemed to notice my less than graceful journey, more than likely distracted by the newly lost connection to the Arc.

_That's where I'll be waiting. _Her voice seemed to echo loudly through my head in an endless mantra. As I settled into the ground, my legs plopped out in front of me and my stomach seized in incredible pain. I felt sweat trickle down my body and grabbed the book out of my jacket. My mouth dropped open at the sight of the deep red stains coating the cover.

I dropped the book to the side and slid my shaking hand into the opening of the cloth. My hand was immediately met with a smooth warm liquid. I pulled my hand out and saw what I had feared most. The Grounders hadn't failed. One arrow had found its target. I had been so filled with adrenaline that I hadn't noticed the small arrow go straight through my stomach. With great effort, my mind put the pieces together. The spark I had felt was, in fact, an arrow piercing my skin. I had unknowingly caused the tremor through the trees. I had been touching Finn's wristband when it popped, it was only coincidence that Clarke and the others had been working on the transmission when it happened.

It was my fault that we had lost connection with the Arc.


	13. Episode 5 Part 2

_"Can you hear me Alice? I need you to wake up now." Laura's calm voice seemed to echo through my bones and down my spine. I felt the blood in my veins harden and pulse beneath my skin._

_I struggled to move and for a horrifying instant, I thought I was paralyzed. My arms and legs were caught beneath the pressure of excruciatingly tight straps holding me to the bed. I could feel my pupils dilating to unimaginable sizes as my eyes shot open in panic. My mind was a useless jumble of primitive babble, only able to comprehend the smallest bits of information. I felt like a stranger in my own body._

_"Listen Alice. You've been given adrenaline to help you find your way back to us. It's time for you to come back." Laura's face faded in and out of my vision, warping into different shapes and colors. I was able to distinguish the few defining features of my drab room._

_I felt several different emotions hit me stronger than ever before. It was as if every fiber of my being were radiating with pent up energy. Something had a hold of me, causing my body to jerk against the restraints and shake the bed. I noticed three guards looming in front of the open door, guns pointed directly on me._

_Laura must have seen the fear in my eyes because she waved her hand and the guns were cautiously lowered, "Do you remember what happened Alice?"_

_Before I could even attempt to answer, bile forced its way through my throat and it was all I could do not to puke on myself and aim away from the bed. Laura's face was less than sympathetic._

_My body stilled to a slight shake and Laura plastered a forced smile on her face, "You attacked a guard Alice. We had to subdue you. You've been asleep for a long time. But we need you to wake up, Alice, because it's time for you to go somewhere else." _

_Though I couldn't quite remember why at the time, the sight of her face sent anger through my body. The way she spoke sparked a need to defy that I could not explain._

_"FIGHT." The sound of a boy's voice inside my head completely froze every muscle in my body. He wasn't yelling, but it sounded as if an amplifier was turned on full blast in my head, and I couldn't quite control what happened next._

_"Stop calling me Alice." My voice came out cracked, yet somehow stronger than it had ever been._

_With strength I didn't know I possessed, I yanked at the cuffs and easily broke free. I wore a revealing hospital gown, but I didn't have the time or the need for modesty. I was possessed. _

_Laura backed closer towards the guard, ready to take cover but still confident in her control over me, "We're not trying to hurt you."_

_"I want to leave. Now." My arm lifted up in warning and so did the guns._

_Laura waved her hand but the guards didn't head this time, "Good. That's good. You can go now. We're letting you go."_

_I hesitated for only a moment and the world slowed as the loud pop of a gun rang in my ears. One of the guards had fired despite Laura's orders. My hand clenched into a fist and all three guns disintegrated before my eyes. A loud clang exploded behind me and the bullet ricocheted back and straight into the guard's chest._

_"Grab her!" The two guards advanced as the other fell to the ground. I felt my world fall from beneath me and grasped my head as it exploded in pain. Past the nausea, I felt a sharp sting in my neck and looked up to see Laura holding a syringe._

_"You will be leaving Alice. It's a shame we couldn't part on better terms." Strong arms lifted me into the air and pushed their way through the small room. My vision tunneled as we quickly passed two familiar doors inside the hallway, heading for the third door in the farthest corner._

_As the door to my freedom opened and light blinded my eyes, fire burned across my vision._

The night sky focused in and out of sight as the blood loss began to take its toll on my mind. I don't know why I didn't immediately call for Clarke or the others. Perhaps it was the hysteria of being injured.

The last memory I had on the Ark had been far from forgettable. After Laura had drugged me, however, I couldn't remember anything until I woke up on the drop ship, falling down to Earth. I was able to piece Atom's memories with mine and saw through his eyes as the two guards dragged my lifeless body into the seat in front of his own. They hadn't begun to load the rest of the delinquents yet and Atom recognized the guards as his father's.

"_What did you do to her?"_ Atom started to unbuckle his own seat belt but one of the guards pushed him down forcefully as the other pulled out a small torch and began to weld the metal pieces of my buckle together.

"_As an insurance policy. Wouldn't want the package getting damaged before delivery. Get any ideas and you'll be next."_ The guard turned to Atom with a disgusting smile and roughly slid his hands across my face, "_I don't know what this bitch is, but it sure is a shame she has to go so quickly. I was having fun getting her dressed."_

Atom knew that the guard didn't have a chance to do anything to me in the short time they had transferred my body, but he couldn't stop the rage that filled his body to the core and exploded with a kick straight to the chest of the guard holding him down. He felt bone crack beneath his shoe and was prepared to do more damage, but the other guard was on him in seconds with a single punch to the jaw that sent him reeling.

Before the situation could escalate any further, Finn came stumbling through the passageway connecting the drop ship to the Arc with his hands raised, "_Alright, alright! I'm going."_ He had a defiant smirk plastered on his face and was followed by several other guards and passengers. They were beginning to fill the ship up.

The two guards who had drug me into the drop ship gathered themselves together and skillfully saluted to their comrades as if nothing had happened before making their way past the increasingly crowded entryway. Atom never took his eyes off of me the whole way down. The other delinquents didn't think anything of my unconsciousness, anyone who had defied the guards had been subdued and several people were dragged into the ship.

My life had been filled with lack of privacy, but that was the first time I had been violated in any way other than scientific. I had never been allowed near the guards so they had always seemed like a distant threat, but that day the threat became slightly more real. They were just as much monsters as Laura and the doctors. My memories were full of monsters.

I was brought back down to Earth with the calls of Octavia, "Hey check it out! Bellamy get out here."

Across the dark sky fell a flaming red capsule, directed towards the ground at a fast growing speed. Just as it approached the tops of the trees several miles away, a parachute ejected from the back and it slowed just enough to land safely.

"They're coming to help us." Someone called in excitement.

"Now we can kick some Grounder ass." The static in the air quickly grew.

"Please tell me they brought some shampoo." A girl exclaimed hopefully.

Everyone moved at different speeds, none of them slow enough for my dysfunctioning brain to follow. I planted my hands firmly in the ground and pushed up, grabbing onto the ship to lift my body into the air. A hint of fear seeped into my thoughts as I struggled to lock my legs. The ringing in my ears turned to complete silence as I lost hearing.

Several thoughts raced through my head. Primarily that I wasn't handling the whole situation very well. The memories I was beginning to gain back coupled with the recent deaths were starting to set a deep paranoia into my actions. I knew what I was doing was questionable at the least, but I didn't seem to have much control over it.

I quickly came to the conclusion that being shot by an arrow, just like everything else about me, would not hold the same results as a normal person. There were strange and mysterious things that only I knew about myself and somehow I knew that only I could save myself at that point. Although the fires had been lit and the camp was now buzzing with conversation, no one seemed to notice or try and stop me from stumbling back into the trees.

I don't even quite remember how I got there, but I found myself surrounded by a mass of glowing plants and shrubberies. My ears popped and my hearing was slowly beginning to fade back just in time for me to catch the snap of a fallen branch to my left. I regretted turning immediately as I felt my side tear in half.

"Hey are you okay?" Octavia pushed past the growth of vines and rushed to grab my arms as I slowly dropped to the ground with one leg stretched out and the other supporting my butt.

I leaned against a plant covered rock and watched as Octavia pulled her blood smeared hand away in horror, "You're bleeding!"

Seeing Octavia's face made me realize I was stupid to think that I could handle everything. It was beginning to look like I couldn't handle anything at all. Now I would probably die right there in front of her. I felt the strange need to apologize.

"Did the Grounders do this? Bell told me you were attacked, but I didn't think you were hurt."

"It was an arrow. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to bother anyone."

"Bother anyone? Are you crazy?! You're bleeding to death." The look of bewilderment on Octavia's face brought a smile to mine. Thankfully, she didn't notice as she crouched beside me and lifted my dirty shirt to reveal a sickly sight. The blood seemed to have dried into an ugly brown crust all over my stomach but still slowly pumped out of the small hole in my side.

Octavia's hands shook as they gently hovered over my stomach, as if her will alone would fix everything. Whatever confident solution I had been thinking of before was gone and the panic started to truly sink in. Anyone else would have been dead already.

I weakly coughed, clutching the glowing greenery atop the rock my arm now lay on, "We have to get Clarke. She'll know what to do, she can…"

Octavia was already looking towards the camp as she mumbled but stopped short as her gaze passed over my hand, "Alice…"

I struggled to follow her line of vision and stifled a gasp as I saw my own hand, glowing a bright neon blue. Most of the rock had lost its light and it now pulsed through my arm. I painfully pulled my hand away from the rock and felt my weight shift to my stomach.

"You're glowing." Octavia's face was a mixture of question and wonder.

"Yeah." I examined my hand with amazement. It was just like before, but on a much larger scale and the glow wasn't fading any time soon.

The tips of my fingers tingled as my hand was drawn to my stomach like a magnet. Before I could even touch my skin, a warmth spread through my hand and into the open wound. I gritted my teeth and pushed onto the hole. The glow shined bright and then seeped into the skin of my stomach. I threw my head back in exhaustion as the searing pain subsided.

After a while, Octavia pulled my hand away and I looked down to see a dimming white hand print over the wound. It wasn't magically healed or completely disappeared, but it was no longer gushing blood and the pain was minimal. Important note for later: Glowing mushrooms are very good for arrows to the stomach.

"What just happened?" Octavia didn't seem afraid at all, just amazed as she poked at a dimly glowing plant on the ground and waited to light up like an excited child. She seemed a little disappointed when nothing happened.

"I'm not really sure." I wasn't lying.

I slid my leg out from underneath my butt and shrugged my jacket off, careful not to agitate the wound. Octavia seemed to follow lead and settled in next to me, completely oblivious to the danger of being outside of camp with no weapons or backup. I don't know whether we were both just stupid or she didn't care, but she wasn't going anywhere.

"I saw you do it before. That night we went looking for Jasper. Are you some kind of plant whisperer?" I couldn't hide a laugh. Octavia was one of the strangest characters I had ever met, just behind her brother.

"Do you really want to know?" Once again, I could blame it on the blood loss, but deep down I think I wanted to tell her. I felt an irreplaceable bond to Octavia stronger than I could fathom.

Octavia didn't respond, but nodded. So I told her. Not everything of course, I left out my fractured memories and Belle because I didn't really understand them myself. And as she sat silently listening with fully trusting ears, I told her everything about Atom.

"You were the light in the dark for him. He was going to defy Bellamy for you. He had never met anyone like you. I've never met anyone like you." I felt my throat constrict at the memory of Atom and saw Octavia's eyes water before she quickly rubbed the tears away and smiled.

I looked away and realized Octavia had grabbed my hand somewhere in the middle of the story. With that small gesture I knew she had accepted me. It was still a surprise to find that people could accept me after they knew what I was.

"So can you like... fly or something?" And like that, the tension I felt in my heart was released. Octavia spoke as if she were asking a normal question. I realized that neither of us had experienced what was considered a normal life on the Ark. Perhaps that was why she was so accepting.

"No. Not that I know of." I felt my cheeks widen in a smile.

"Well, we'll work on that. Does anybody else know?"

"Clarke is the only other one."

"Clarke! Oh my gosh, I should go get her. You're still hurt." We both seemed to break out of the haze that had surrounded us at the same time and I realized that the sun was already starting to rise.

We had been talking for longer than I thought.

"She's probably gone with the others to find the capsule by now. I'll be fine." The delirium that had taken me over was gone and images of the capsule flying across the sky brought my thoughts back to the camp and the present. I looked back down at the wound for reassurance and found that it had not opened again.

"No. I don't care what you say. Clarke needs to look at you." Octavia pushed herself up and wiped her hands off on her pants in determination.

"You shouldn't be walking through the forest alone. In case you haven't noticed, we're under attack." I gestured to the blood covering my shirt for emphasis.

"Don't care." It was like talking to a brick wall.

"You're impossible." I grabbed my jacket and readied to get up.

"And you're a miracle. I'm not going to let you get an infection or something stupid like that." Octavia grabbed my hand and lifted me up. Still no pain.

"You head back to the camp. If she's there good, if not I'll head for the capsule and send her back for you." Octavia sounded so much like her brother when she gave orders it was eerie.

"Yes ma'am." I threw my jacket on and zipped it up to cover the blood.

Octavia waited for me to finish and jumped in for a hug. I winced at the small tugging in my stomach and she backed away immediately, "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

I smiled and shook my head no. With only an encouraging smile now, Octavia turned and headed in the direction that the capsule had landed.

I had the sudden urge to stay put and explore the rest of the wildlife. I could tell I wasn't far from the camp and argued with myself over leaving. For the first time, I really took in my surroundings. The trees dripped with morning dew and the birds chirped from all directions. Ironically, I felt more attentive and attuned to the earth than ever before, having just been shot by an arrow. I could feel the trees gently swinging in the wind and the sun was a welcome warmth shining on my pale skin. Several minutes passed in serene calm and I was contempt.

I started for the camp and found myself quickly falling from the high that the morning had provided. My legs felt like they were fighting through knee-deep sludge and my shoulders began to fall with an invisible weight. Sweat covered my body and I couldn't help but sigh in irritation. Contrary to what it might seem, what with all my less than savory physical encounters, I'm not a glutton for pain. Though I seemed to attract it like flies to death. Or poop.

I kneeled on the ground and tried to find the words to call for help, but none came. The world seemed to do a cruel flip as my face sunk into the ground. A huge dark figure loomed in my vision and a seemingly random former thought popped into my head. Something about me being poisonous.

In that moment I realized how ironic that statement turned out to be, considering I had been poisoned.


	14. Episode 5 Part 3

My nostrils flared as my nose was invaded with the thick smell of dirt and wood. Without opening my eyes, I could feel a coat of sweat clinging to my drenched shirt. I no longer wore my jacket and felt the breeze chill against my moist body. I struggled to breathe the thick air and through great concentration, I tore my eyes open past the crust that sealed them together.

Every muscle and bone ached, as if I had been lying in an uncomfortable position for hours on end. My eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness and once they did, I wished I couldn't see again. I could tell I was underground, there were no walls or floors, only dirt. A few books and children's toys lay scattered in dark corners and strange tubes sprouted from the ground.

I had been propped up against the wall and it only took me a moment to realize that a crude chain had been cuffed onto my wrist and connected to a very sturdy looking concrete column. I halfheartedly pulled at the chain and wasn't surprised to find that it was secured tightly.

The numbing treatment I had received from the glowing plants had most definitely worn off and all that was left was a very present aching pressure. It hadn't taken much debating to come to the conclusion that the arrow had been poisoned. I was very familiar with the feeling of a venomous toxin seeping its way through every blood vessel, organ, and bone in my body. This feeling wasn't much different from the nausea and weakness I had first experienced with the early radiation treatments.

Before I could muster the strength to try and stand up, the golden light of a fire lit up a hidden entryway to my left and the sound of labored steps alerted me that someone was coming. As the light grew nearer and brighter, I could only catch a glimpse of the same familiarly large silhouette from before. I braced my arms against the ground as I took in his feral appearance. He was covered head to toe in animal hide and black mud was smeared across his face, giving off a very menacing affect. This was no doubt a Grounder.

As he set the lit torch into a holder on the wall, I saw that he held a limp body in his arms. My heart dropped as I recognized Octavia's long dark hair dangling towards the ground. I pushed back the urge to scream and waited for the towering figure to say or do something, anything. Our eyes met briefly and I almost got lost in his dark stare.

The Grounder gently set Octavia's body in front of me and without a word, I scooted to her side and felt for a pulse. The world stopped spinning the moment I felt a small thump beneath my fingers. She was alive. We were both alive. But why?

"What are you doing?" I stayed faithfully by Octavia's side, ready to do anything I could to protect her.

I was met with a completely unreadable face before he turned his back and walked back through the entryway. I gave up trying to predict what was about to happen and directed all of my attention to Octavia. She was covered in dirt and small scrapes and bruises covered her face and hands.

"Octavia? Please wake up." I cradled her wounded face in my shaking hands and after several minutes of silence, I shook her shoulders as gently as my rising panic would allow.

A small exhale escaped her lips as her chest rose and her eyes snapped open. I grabbed her shoulder to let her know I was there and her eyes quickly found mine. She rose into a sitting position and looked around, taking in her surroundings with the same anxious ridden face I imagine I had.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know. Are you hurt?"

Octavia took a moment to scan her body for injuries and with a grimace, she opened the slit of her pants on her knee to reveal a pink mess of blood and charred skin.

"I was looking for you and I fell... He must have cauterized the wound." Octavia's face was mixed with worry and question.

There was absolutely nothing about the situation that I could explain. It seemed that this Grounder was working alone. He hadn't killed us, in fact, he had tried to help Octavia. I was reminded of Jasper and how his wound had been sustained, only so he could serve as more useful bait. Perhaps we were the new bait. I was sure that Bellamy would not rest until his sister was found. He would walk straight into that trap.

"Wait. What do you mean you were looking for me? Did you find Clarke?" Octavia had been headed for the capsule the last time I saw her.

"Clarke? What are you talking about? She and Finn went after Bellamy for the capsule. I couldn't find you at camp so I went looking for you."

My mind momentarily stalled, trying to understand what was going on, "I don't understand. Back at the rock, you said you were going to send Clarke back for me."

"What rock? I haven't seen you since Murphy. Alice, are you okay?" Octavia looked me over and gasped at the blood on my shirt.

"You're bleeding!" I stared blankly at Octavia as she crouched beside me and lifted my dirty shirt to reveal a sickly sight. The blood seemed to have dried into an ugly brown crust all over my stomach and still slowly pumped out of the small hole in my side.

Octavia's hands shook as they gently hovered over my stomach, as if her will alone would fix everything. I shook my head in disbelief as an awful feeling of deja vu swept over me.

"Did the Grounder do this? Bell told me you were attacked, but I didn't think you were hurt. I couldn't find you anywhere at camp and I got worried…"

"You've got to be kidding me." I laughed coldly as I realized what had happened. I should have recognized the signs, but I guess I was so out of it that it never occurred to me. I had experienced my fair share of hallucinations on the Arc, but this might have just been the most devastating.

My mind retrieved the memory of Octavia back at the rock, but this time she flashed in and out to nothing. The poison had tricked me. Octavia never found me that night. I had sat alone, muttering to myself in a delirious state. I couldn't even say with certainty that I had healed myself. It was possible that she wasn't even real now. Not for the first time in my life, I felt the madness seep into my mind.

"None of it was real." I threw my head back against the soft dirt and closed my eyes.

"...I'm going to find a way out of here, okay? I'll get the others and I'll come back for you." Octavia's voice interrupted my thoughts and I saw a look of sincere concern on her face. She most likely thought I was reaching the brink of death what with all the blood and crazy rambling.

I reached for her arm through the haze of my mind and took hold of her hand instead. As our skin touched, a blinding white light seared my vision and I was gone...

_My nostrils flared as my nose was invaded with the thick smell of oil and steel. The strong scents conjured feelings of both security and panic. My knees curled into my body, held tightly in place by my scrawny arms. The barely audible sound of muffled voices came from above and sent my heart fluttering out of my chest._

_I wanted to scream, but something primal kept my body frozen. Feet shuffled above my head and I heard the click of a door. A scraping sound raked across the floor and I instinctively raised my hand in front of my eyes. Light entered the small storage area I hid in and I was immediately comforted at the sight of a slightly younger Bellamy._

_"It's alright O, they're gone." I grabbed his strong hand and was lifted back into the small room which served as my entire world. It was a very small world._

My chin was jerked to the side by rough fingers as I awoke to the angry face of the Grounder. Octavia was nowhere to be seen.

He didn't need to ask and I didn't need to explain. Octavia must have escaped while I was out of it. With a silent glare, the Grounder turned and rushed back through the entryway. I prayed Octavia had already made it to Bellamy and they weren't stupid enough to try and find me.

As the dark room settled, I dealt with the fact that I had just glimpsed into Octavia's mind. It seemed that in times of intense emotion, I had the eery ability to see people's pasts. Where I had seen Atom's entire life, I had only gotten a snippet of Octavia's. My mind still felt the effects of stepping into someone else's body and soul and I felt myself being pulled back into the bright light of Octavia's memories…

_I felt pure happiness as giggles escaped from my lips and I struggled to hold onto the firm back of a grunting Bellamy. It was rare that I could completely forget that I was confined to this one small room. Imprisoned. But it was always Bellamy that let me escape my worries and fears. Mom sat at the table, cluttered with sewing material and cloth. _

_I loved my mother more than anything, but she was a constant reminder of what I couldn't have. Always insisting that I must stay hidden. I tried not to laugh too loud, but it was almost impossible as Bellamy stumbled around the room with me on his back._

_It was over all too soon as Bellamy's hands let go of my legs and I slid to the ground, "I want another pony ride!" I felt my grin spread from cheek to cheek._

_"You want another one?" Bellamy feigned exhaustion through labored breaths, trying to hide a smile._

_I nodded, "Yes."_

_"Okay, do you want to go through the jungle or the forest?" _

_Tingling with excitement, I felt a strong urge to run free. No longer confined in our small room, "I want to see the Arc, Bell."_

_A beautiful hope sprung in my stomach that Bellamy might be able to take me out. He was my big brother after all. He could do anything. _

_"Take me out that door!" I pleaded._

_"That's enough. Both of you." The sound of mother's voice shrouded any hope I might have mustered. Bellamy's face darkened with a pain that I couldn't quite understand._

_Before I could try once again for my freedom, the small alarm sounded and I couldn't control the pounding of my heart._

_"It's time." Mom's voice was full of finality, but in that moment, I just couldn't understand why my life had to be the way it was._

_"But, no. I don't want to. How do you even know?" My throat tightened and I tried to stand tall as my mother stood to ready the room for the approaching guards._

_"Yeah mom, tell us how you're never surprised by surprise inspections." Bellamy's tone seeped with dark sarcasm and although I couldn't completely understand his meaning, I knew enough to know that something was wrong._

_"Mind yourself Bellamy Blake. Tell your sister what happens if they find her." I knew the answer, it had been drilled into my head since before I could remember. I started to beg to not have to go into the hole again, but I knew there was no use._

_"She knows what happens. I've told her a thousand times." Bellamy dutifully began to pull the table back and lifted the hatch, "O, you know the drill."_

_"I hate the drill. Sometimes I wish I was never even born." I couldn't stop the words from coming out._

_"Stop it Octavia, I know you're afraid, but fear is a demon. Close your eyes and tell yourself that you're not afraid. That is how you slay the demon." With Mom holding my hands, I felt stronger, but the fear still managed to find its way into my heart._

_"Open up." The door pounded and I no longer felt the courage to stand outside of the small hole in the ground. I wanted to hide and I hated myself for it._

_"Say it." Her voice brought me back._

_"I'm not afraid." I tried my hardest not to cry._

The dirt rattled from behind me and light shone in from above. I forced Octavia's memories from my head and strained to see, causing the chains to rattle in the silence. Octavia's small frame dropped through the hole first, closely followed by the Grounder. He bent over and picked her up as if it was nothing. She wore a look of annoyance on her face.

It would have been comical if I didn't fear for our lives. The Grounder carried her over to sit beside me and set her back on the ground, "Why are you taking care of me? You found me at the bottom of that ravine. You fixed my knee." Octavia seemed to have given up on escape, too intrigued by the Grounders motives to even fight back. Or she knew it was futile. I imagine he could snap her in half by the looks of his bulging muscles.

"Why are you keeping Alice and me here?" Octavia looked up to me and I wasn't able to warn her in time before the Grounder began to forcefully wrap a similar chain around her wrists.

"What the hell are you doing? Please don't do this. Ow, stop it!" Octavia began to panic as she was drug across the ground and her chain was attached to the column holding my own. In complete silence, the Grounder left once again.

"Octavia. Hey it's alright." I ignored the pounding in my head and wrapped Octavia in my arms. I guess I had already had my fair share of panic and I was now the one comforting her.

"I don't understand. What does he want?"

"I'm still working on that." Octavia pulled away and stared intently into my eyes, as if she was expecting me to go crazy again.

"I'm okay, I promise." I couldn't help but see through her eyes as I looked into her face. Her memories still nagged at the back of my mind.

Octavia must have recognized something in my face because a small look of suspicion crossed her face before she could replace it with forced calm.

"Bellamy will find us."

"I'm sure he will O" He was the only hope in getting Octavia out safely.

"What did you just call me?" Octavia struggled to get comfortable with the chain binding her hands.

"Um, O?" I saw my mistake too late.

"That's what Bellamy calls me." I could practically hear the gears in her brain working to put the invisible pieces together.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said it."

"No it's okay. I like it." Octavia used her knees to crawl closer to me and grabbed my hand with both of hers.

"Oh shit…"

_I sat at the same table doing the same thing I had for years. Anything I could do to keep my mind off the boredom was a warm welcome, even sewing. Mom had taught me to stitch by hand long ago and I often helped her with the alterations that came in. _

_I was daydreaming of the outside of my prison when the door was flung open. I couldn't help myself as I jumped, but immediately calmed at the sight of Bellamy in his new guard uniform. Mom had pulled a lot of strings to get him into the guard and I could see how it had changed him._

_"O, you'll never guess what's about to happen." He wore a genuine smile, which had become much more rare in the small room as of late._

_"Inspection. I'll get in the hole." It almost scared me how devoid of emotion my voice sounded. I rose from the chair and began to move the table._

_"No, no. Sit, sit. This is great." Bellamy sat down with a refreshing excitement._

_"Bell, I don't want to hear about another amazing moonrise when I'm never going to be able to see one." It was becoming harder and harder to push away the endless despair._

_"Oh you're going to see one. Right now. The Unity Day Masquerade Dance starts in ten minutes. Now, I didn't want to say anything until I was sure my cadet unit was working security. I'm gonna be there, watching you the entire time." Bellamy revealed a beautiful blue mask he had been holding and my heart soared._

_"Is this real?"_

_Bellamy smiled in excitement and I put the mask over my face. I felt as if I were in a dream, "How do I look?"_

_"Mysterious." We both laughed._

_"Ugh Bell, what about Mom?" Her voice plagued my head with warning._

_"Hey, will you stop worrying. We'll be back before she even knows you were gone." Bellamy seemed so sure it was easy to believe it._

_He was up and headed for the door in an instant. I shakily rose to my feet as he peeked out into the hallway, "Wanna go for a walk?"_  
><em>I grabbed his hand and after a moment's hesitation, I took my first step to freedom…<em>

"Anybody in there? Alice? Hello? You're really freaking me out." Octavia's face drifted into my vision and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Thank God. I thought I had lost you there for a second. We really need to get you some help..."

"The arrow I was hit with. I think something is wrong." I explained my craziness. At least partially.

"I don't know what to do Alice." I saw tears form in Octavia's eyes and somehow I knew what I had to do.

"Octavia. I think I can get us out of here. You have to know something first though." I don't know how I knew that I could do it, but something deep within me guided my shaking hand to Octavia's head.

"I have to show you something, okay?"

"Okay." I don't think she really knew what she was agreeing to, but I could see the faithful trust in her eyes.

So I showed her. I conjured memories of the Arc first, then some of my time on Earth, and finally my hallucination at the rock. I ignored the blood I felt trickling down my nose and concentrated on Octavia's face.

For what felt like hours, I relived moments I had thought to be in my past forever. When I was sure Octavia had seen what I wanted, I removed my hand from her forehead. Her hands still gripped my other hand tightly.

I searched her eyes and waited patiently for recognition to return to them. As she came back to me, we met each others glares and the world was quiet, except for the sound of our heavy beating hearts.

"Are you sure you can't fly?" Octavia was the first to break the silence and I was speechless.

I didn't try to stop the tears from falling this time, "You are the most amazing person I've ever met."

"I know." Octavia smiled and finally settled in beside me, "So what's the plan?"

"I think I can disconnect your chains. You'll have to run as fast and as quiet as you can. Get back to Bellamy and warn the others that the Grounders are planning something."

"What about you? I'm not leaving you here." Octavia had a no argument face on, which is why I didn't even try to explain the many reasons I couldn't leave.

"Just hold on." I raised my hand in the direction in which Octavia's chains connected to the concrete slab and curled my fingers into a fist. I felt an invisible force between my fingers and yanked down. The chain popped and fell to the ground.

I struggled to keep my head up and Octavia kneeled beside me, intending to lift me up. My eyes widened as I saw the Grounder's towering shadow fall over Octavia. A look of determination set across Octavia's face and in one swift movement, she had grabbed a medium sized rock and slammed it against the Grounder's head. He fell to his knees, a look of confusion and betrayal on his face.

She threw her arms back and with a sickening crunch, the rock hit his head one last time and his body fell limp to the ground. A small spark of hope fluttered in my stomach as I saw the key to our cuffs in his hands. It didn't cross my mind at the time that he might have been letting us go, only that we had to get out of there before he woke up.

As Octavia grabbed the key out of his hand and began to work on her own lock, I used every ounce of strength to lift myself up. I felt bile rise in my throat but refused to let it escape. I would help Octavia escape if it was the last thing I ever did.

The sound of rocks shifting came from the entryway and I nearly puked in fear. Another Grounder was coming. Just as I felt the world slipping out from underneath me, a dark form entered the room.

"Octavia!" Bellamy's face was the most welcome intrusion I had ever seen. If I could have moved without falling over I might have kissed him right then and there.

"Bellamy!" Octavia's face flooded with relief and Bellamy took in the room with a trained seriousness before he rushed to Octavia's side, "Get the key."

The two siblings worked on the lock as Finn entered the room, followed by Jasper and one of Bellamy's followers. Finn rushed to my side stricken with worry, as Jasper cautiously examined the Grounder.

"Monroe, watch the entrance." Bellamy ordered and the girl headed back out.

Once Octavia was freed from her chains, Bellamy tossed the key to Finn who began working on mine. Bellamy and Octavia embraced and Bellamy spoke soothing words to her. I jumped from Octavia's memories, to mine, to the present. Finn noticed my body sway and looked down to my bloody shirt. I nodded my head to reassure him that I was fine, though I was screaming on the inside.

My chains dropped to the ground and I looked up to see Octavia hugging Jasper, "How did you find us?"

"Followed him." Jasper gestured to the unconscious form on the ground. Bellamy took that moment to look at me. He too saw the blood and I saw his eyes meet with Finn's in misguided determination.

"We have to leave now, before he wakes up." Octavia warned.

"He's not going to wake up." Bellamy approached the Grounder and grabbed the spear he had set down.

"Bellamy stop. He didn't hurt us, let's just go." Octavia looked to us in panic. Finn took the cue and knelt down beside the Grounder.

"They started this. Finn, get out of the way." Bellamy had already raised the spear.

Finn held a strange object in his hands and stayed between Bellamy and the Grounder, muttering beneath his breath "The fog horn."

A spark in the tips of my fingers brought my attention to the rise and fall of the Grounder's chest and I knew what was about to happen, "Finn look out!" I screamed and the Grounders knife came within millimeters of Finn's chest as he threw himself back out of the way. Octavia rushed to his side as his head came in contact with a large rock.

Faster than I could follow, the Grounder kicked Jasper's feet out from underneath him and wrestled Bellamy to the ground with the spear pointed directly towards his neck. The second I imagined what losing Bellamy or the others might be like, however quick it might have been, a pulse jumped through my body and into the room.

The Grounder seemed to be the only one that noticed as he looked up directly into my eyes. He held the spear easily, though Bellamy struggled to keep it from slicing through his neck. In the small moment our eyes met, I felt as if he could see through my soul. And then his head was violently knocked forward as Jasper snuck up from behind and hit him with a piece of metal pipe.

A terrifying silence filled the room and everything seemed to finally be good. Finn came to with a only a small look of pain and Jasper and Bellamy raised with a grunt. They had done it. No one was dead.

Bellamy turned to me and just as I was about to smile, blood gurgled out of my mouth. I felt my stomach disintegrate and with all eyes now on me, I lifted my shirt. Every vein in my stomach now pulsed beneath my skin, clearly visible with black blood.

No one was dead.

Well, for now at least.


	15. Episode 6 Part 1

Laura once tried to explain to me how she believed the radiation could save humanity. She described it as if it were a living energy, coursing through every cell and particle that we lived and breathed. The sun produced the radiation and sustained life on the Arc as it once had on Earth, meaning that all existence was connected on some level. Life had evolved to coincide with radiation, but only on the most basic level. Certain concentrations of that energy that connected everything, such as the atom bomb, were the most powerful weapons known to man. Laura believed that the only hope lay in adapting to the energy. That's where I came in.

I don't know how I came to be in their possession, but I do know that I was an experiment before I was even born. They began injecting the woman who carried me while I was still a developing embryo. I try not to dwell too much on the possibilities of my origin, it seemed to be a fruitless effort. I was lucky enough to be one of the more successful subjects, unlike Belle. I was never outright mistreated, Laura's calm words coupled with the injections were enough to subdue me for the most part. I truly thought that I was doing something good. That was the only thing that kept what little defiance I could muster in check.

They never could have expected what came of their experimentations. My body was not only able to adapt to the radiation, but bind with the energy and evolve. While it may seem like a miracle, I found it hard to ignore the obvious risks of such a phenomenal change. The atom bomb was a weapon created for mass destruction. How can a power that could possibly exceed such ruin and loss be good for anybody?

I remember the worst moments alone in my room when I could see no future. Sometimes I couldn't stop myself from falling into a pit of depression. Every fiber of my being struggled between the feelings of eternal entrapment and the need for freedom. Constantly aware that I could never do what I wanted to do or go where I wanted to go. The very same emotions attacked my senses as I fought against the paralysis seeping through my body.

My useless arms dangled towards the ground as my head lulled against Finn's hard chest. I could hear the labored breaths of Finn and the others above my own and I tried to form my lips to make words, but nothing happened. Despite carrying my full weight, Finn kept a hurried pace along with Bellamy as they raced back towards the camp. Jasper and Octavia followed closely behind with Monroe and the others staying back to contain the Grounder.

Between the bouts of consciousness, I experienced what I could only describe as an out-of-body experience. With my body confined, I felt my power fight to break through the poison. It was as if I had grasped some invisible powerful force and I pulled, trying to lift myself up. The sky grew darker with my pulling and the wind picked up.

With a firm grasp on the invisible force, I was able to keep hold of my consciousness and I came back to the sound of Octavia's panicked voice, "She was hit last night by a Grounder arrow. There must be something still in there. It's getting worse."

"Take her to the drop ship." Clarke quickly took charge and lead Finn through the growing crowd and out of the darkening weather. Finn gingerly set me down on a makeshift table and a pretty girl I had never seen before approached with a concerned look.

"Can you hear me Alice?" Clarke's hands grasped my face and our eyes met. I responded with the droop of my eyes. Most of my attention was directed towards the force that I clung to, breaking through the paralysis but leaving little left to control my movements.

"I'm going to take a closer look at the wound okay? I need you to stay awake. Pay attention to my voice." I felt a cold breeze rush past my soaked stomach as Clarke lifted my shirt, "Oh my God…"

I only had to see the faces of the others to know just how bad it was. I felt Octavia's hand slip into my own and squeeze.

"I need to see if it went through. There could still be a shard or a splinter in the wound." Clarke looked up to Bellamy for help and before I could protest, the two grabbed my shoulders and rolled me onto my side, sending an unstoppable nausea through my stomach and out of my mouth.

It may seem silly, but I felt a wave of humiliation rush across my face as the clear bile landed on the table and somewhat onto Bellamy's jeans. He didn't seem to notice it or care if he did. With the pain and humiliation, I felt my hold on the force spiral out of control and rain started to pound down on the ship. Shouts came from outside as everyone started to crowd under the shelter of the ship.

With another nod, Clarke and Bellamy sat me back down, "Part of the arrow must have broken off into the wound. She needs surgery. She needs my mom." Clarke's words were traced with defeat.

"Raven, what about the radio?" Finn turned to the girl in desperation and she looked down.

"I'm working on it. I still can't get a signal." I knew I had never seen the girl, Raven, before, but my mind was too scattered to explain how she might have come to be there, or how we had gotten a radio. What seemed like the very distant memory of the capsule crashing through the air came to mind, but I couldn't quite put the pieces together.

"Try harder." After a strained exchange, Clarke's stern voice sent Raven to a small corner covered in wires, followed by Finn who offered any help he could.

The shouts from outside grew louder and more urgent, "Go, I'll stay with her. You can't do anything until we make contact with the Arc." Octavia pulled up a chair next to the table where I lay and Clarke, Bellamy, and Jasper headed out to help the others with the incoming storm before Clarke instructed Octavia how to stop the bleeding and call for her if anything happened.

Octavia took some cloth from someone and pressed it down against my stomach and underneath my back. I grunted in pain and the wind howled against a lightning strike. Octavia looked around and leaned in close, "You're doing this aren't you?"

I shuddered at the thought that I was making such a horrific occurrence. Lifting a rock with my mind was weird enough, but controlling the weather was terrifying. Octavia must have seen the terror on my face because she quickly reassured me in small whispers, "This is awesome. A little scary yeah, but no one's going to get hurt, I promise you. We're going to fix you up and then we can start working on that flying thing."

A pitiful laugh escaped my lips and I felt my loosening grip on the force break through. The paralysis came back in full force and my eyes slid shut…

_Hey Alice, do you ever wonder what a rain storm smells like?" Belle looked down from her resting place atop a tree branch and smiled as her dark hair dangled over her shoulders._

_"I don't know, maybe like fresh flowers and newly cut grass?" I wiggled my fingers through the grass that I lay in and flopped over on my stomach with my arms holding me up._

_"What do those smell like?" Belle scratched at the bark of the tree with one hand and twirled the other through her curly hair._

_"I don't know." We both laughed as I threw my face into the ground and unsuccessfully tried to sniff the grass beneath me._

_It was all fake, pulled from our own imaginations. We didn't know how the sun felt like on bare skin or what the wind rustling through the trees sounded like. It didn't matter though, this was our world. Our safe place._

_Belle wore her usual white shirt and shorts with fluffy slippers. I could easily spot her unique blue eyes against her dark skin from underneath the shadows of the tree. I wore a similar white shirt and pair of pants, however, my pale features were flushed against the bright sun. I liked to go barefoot, imagining what the soil might feel like beneath me._

_The small field which we rested in sat alone in the falling sun with the exception of the single tree we took shelter under. I looked around, searching the endless hills for something that wasn't there._

_"You're looking for him aren't you?" Belle raised from her own stomach and let her legs hang crossed off the branch._

_"He should be here by now." I couldn't quite understand who I was looking for, but my heart raced in excitement and anticipation._

_"I'm sure everything is fine. You know how he is. In the meantime…" Belle snapped her fingers and rain started lightly pouring, despite the shining sun._

_The tree mostly sheltered Belle from the rain, but I stepped out from underneath the cover and let the water droplets run down my skin. My hair was soon wet and stuck to the skin on my neck. I closed my eyes and twirled in the downpour. Our laughter echoed through the empty sky and I never wanted to stop spinning._

_"Hey, there he is! Finally! Come on over!" Belle waved her hands, yelling in the distance. I followed her voice to see the shadow of a tall boy, waving back in the distance. The excitement that coursed through my veins reached my heart and sent it soaring._

_The rain began to pour harder and I could no longer see the distant figure through the storm. I turned to Belle in fear and nearly screamed at the sight before me. Her large eyes were a matted red and small cracks ran down the skin on the sides of her cheeks. Blood ran down from her nose and eyes._

_"Remember us Alice." Belle gurgled past blood in her throat and with one last smile, slipped off the branch and hit the ground with a sickening crunch. I rushed to where she had fallen, but she was no longer there. I fell to my knees and held my aching stomach. My hands were met with a warm oozing liquid, much different from the light rain._

_"Somebody help me." I called against the empty rain and everything stilled._

_I looked up to find myself back in my room with Laura hovering above me, "What have you done to yourself Alice?" I looked down to my stomach and flashes of arrows flying through the air crossed my vision._

_"How can I be here? This can't be real." I muttered to myself as Laura gently pushed on my shoulders to lay me down._

_"No, where is Clarke? Octavia?" I struggled against Laura and guards crowded around me, leaning in to hold my body against the bed._

_Laura reached towards my stomach and dug her long fingers into my stomach._

"She's waking up!" Finn's voice brought me back to reality as I saw not Laura, but Clarke with her fingers knuckle-deep in my stomach.

"We're going to get this thing out of you okay?" Clarke's face was stricken with a determined grimace and despite my efforts to stay still, it took the strength of Finn, Raven, and Jasper to hold my body down.

"Alice you can't move, got it?" I could hear the tremble in Clarke's voice, but I grit my teeth and squeezed Octavia's hand so hard I thought it might pop. I could feel Clarke's slender fingers as she searched for the wooden shard, it was one of the strangest feelings I had ever experienced in my life. That's really saying something considering my life.

"Okay, I think I've got it." Clarke looked close to tears, covered in sweat and rain as most everybody else was.

"Take it slow, Clarke." A digital voice of a grown woman cracked in the distance and I subconsciously registered in the back of my mind that it meant they had made contact with the Arc.

The pain radiated through every part of my body and Clarke's instructions were lost to me as I felt a sharp spike pass through my stomach. I grasped for the energy I knew lay right above me and pulled as hard as I could for strength. This time I felt it give and an unbelievably loud bang rocked the ship and threw everyone to the ground.

My arms took most of the impact and my body absorbed the pain evenly. The sharp pain in my stomach subsided to a dull ache as I flipped myself over onto my back. Clarke had ripped my shirt open up to the bottom of my breasts and I could clearly see the black veins return to a normal blue shade as more blood slowly pumped out of the hole in my stomach. I was so damn tired of blood.

"Clarke? What's happening? Clarke, can you hear us?" The woman's voice sounded over the moans and shuffles of the others.

I looked for Clarke and found her standing alone, a look of complete astonishment on her face. In her hands was a blood-soaked wooden spike. She had done it.

"It's out. She did it." Raven called to the radio from the ground with a smile on her face.

"Help me get her up." Clarke only gave herself a moment of gratitude before she was back to business.

Finn and Octavia gingerly raised my arms and I was lifted back onto the table, despite the protests of my body, "I need to suture the wounds now. This is going to hurt."

"Do it." My voice croaked and my throat scratched, but how much worse could it really get?

Clarke started to sanitize her hands once again and Octavia and Finn stood on the opposite side of Clarke as the others began to clean the debris. I turned my head at the site of the sharp, needle-like object Clarke produced. My vision settled on the similarly sharp branches of the tree that had rocked the ship and now stuck through the strong metal of the walls. I could have killed somebody.

Clarke's steady hands grazed my soaked stomach and I twitched a bit. It was all too similar to my room on the Arc, "Okay, I'm going to start now Alice." I didn't respond, but kept my head turned away from any stares.

The first stitch sent chills up my spine and without much fight left in my system, my eyes rolled back into my head…


	16. Episode 6 Part 2

_"Do you really think that I can help everybody?" I sat against the wall that my bed leaned on with my knees curled up into my chest._

_"I know you will. You will save us all." Laura sat on my bed in a rare moment of honesty. She usually discouraged talk of anything to do with the radiation or treatments. _

_"When you find what you're looking for… Then will you finally let me see the outside?" It was a bold question, but I was feeling a little reckless._

_"When I find what I'm looking for, you can go anywhere you want Alice." She seemed lost in her thoughts, only truly realizing what she had said moments after. Her relaxed demeanor quickly vanished, but it was too late._

_"I want to learn to read! I can go to school and meet other kids. I don't really know what exactly I'd like to be when I grow up, but that's what it's for isn't it?" My stomach twisted as my heart raced. The mere thought of leaving gave me the urge to jump up and down on the bed._

_"Wait just a minute. Calm down Alice." Laura rose from the bed, ready to take action if needed. I followed, completely oblivious to her anxiety._

_"I wonder where I would live? I'm sure I could find somewh… Hold on a minute… Woah… Wo… W… W…." Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as my vision went black and I struggled to control my speech._

_"Can I get some help in here? She's seizing!" Laura's voice sounded muffled, as if she were talking through a door. I tried to tell her I was okay, that it would pass. But it didn't._

_My legs clenched out from underneath me and I felt as every muscle constricted painfully in uncontrollable twitches…_

"She was fine, then…" Octavia's distant voice replaced Laura's and I helplessly fell to the mercy of the spasms that rocked my body.

"Get my mother on the radio! Raven, now!" Clarke's voice joined Octavia's from far away, but my vision was still completely black.

"The radio is dead. Interface from the storm." Finn spoke up and I lost all control of my senses.

I had forgotten how terrifying the seizures could be. Not only for me, but for the people witnessing them I'm sure. Like most of my symptoms, they were closely linked with my emotions, most definitely excitement and adrenaline. Laura explained that I must never let my emotions control myself. I did not fully realize at the time that control meant forgoing happiness.

The seizures stopped when I stopped smiling. When any excitement was replaced with fear and courage was replaced with caution. I never allowed myself to fully express the joy of reading books or dreaming of a better place. I traded terror for desire.

I had come to realize that my memories and those that I had glimpsed of others were most often triggered by physical actions. Reliving the horrible episode that I had experienced on the Arc brought about a dark, hidden memory that belonged to the furthest corner of Atom's mind.

_"Hey Atom, we're going to the rec room, do you want to come with?" Zane, a school acquaintance peaked from behind the entrance of the classroom and spoke directly to me. I sat alone in the small room, finishing a botany experiment that was due in three weeks. Father insisted that I finished all assignments with precision and haste._

_"No thanks. I'm busy here." Zane rolled his eyes and left me to my own thoughts without any further prodding. I knew they all talked about my seclusion and secrecy. If only they knew the things that I had seen. Sometimes I could convince myself that I was crazy. That would be preferable to the reality._

_However, today I could not shake the dread sitting in the back of my mind and the bottom of my stomach. For eleven years, my father's secret has never left me. Today, I could not control myself a second longer. I had to see to settle the voices in my head…_

_I pushed through the door and came upon the dreadfully familiar monitors. My heart skipped a beat as I searched the screens and did not find what I was looking for. Several scientific reports showed on the screens, but there was no video feed._

_Reluctantly, I sat in the worn swivel chair and set my shaking hand on the mouse. I was no expert in my father's study, but I knew enough to navigate through the complicated files. An indescribable fear began to sink in as I failed to find what I was looking for immediately. A red light brought my attention to a hidden tab and I clicked._

_There on the screen lay my quiet body. Everything looked almost exactly the same as the last time I had seen myself through the screen, but I looked slightly older and my shaved head now contained a very small amount of growing hair._

_I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen and despite my body's frozen state, I felt my hand clench the mouse tightly. There was no denying what I saw before me. _

_I was eighteen years old and I still couldn't even begin to imagine how I might defy my father and expose his secret. Anger boiled my blood and turned my vision red as I jumped to stand. A voice recording sounded off as the mouse accidentally clicked a random file under the name "Medication."_

_"After displaying concerning amounts of curiosity and defiance, it has been decided that the subject will undergo heavy mood stabilizing and anti-anxiety doses through intravenous therapy. The injections will subdue unwanted tendencies and improve overall control conditions."_

_Father's voice paused, followed by a small beep before continuing, "Update: Subject has experienced several seizure reminiscent convulsions in instances of heightened emotion or adrenaline that could be related to administrative injections. Although the results are unconventional, I believe the behavioral drugs have been successful in eliminating further provocation."_

If I had control of my actions, I might have screamed. They had poisoned me and drugged me with who knows what just so I wouldn't ask questions. Laura had watched and even encouraged my downfall to complete submission. He couldn't even refer to me by name, only "the subject". In their eyes, I was less than human.

I was nothing.

I felt my throat close at the realization that I would never truly be free from the mind control of the Arc, yet soon realized that it was not tears I choked on, but thick white foam that forced its way out of my mouth. My vision slowly returned through my barely open eyelids as I felt strong hands push me on my side and feel my cheeks frantically.

"She's burning up."

"There's fluid in her lungs."

"What does that mean?"

"This isn't blood, it's something else. I did everything she told me… I've seen this before. Shortness of breath. Seizing..."

Their worried voices faded out and I used all my strength to croak the one word Clarke needed to hear, "Poison."

If I could have laughed at my stupidity, I would have. I had known all along that the arrow was poisoned, but for some unknown reason I had made the genius decision not to tell anybody. I figured that they would never be able to find an antidote quick enough to save me and even if they did, I had no idea how my body would react to it. With all of the things that had happened to the others, I honestly hadn't even been worried about myself.

Now it was time to worry.

My body was broken and exposed and my mind was exhausted. For the first time on Earth, I felt a need rise that I had only given heed to back on the Arc. It seemed distant and foreign, as if I had done it many times before, but I couldn't quite remember how or when. It was the place between sleep and awake. Where anything was possible and nothing was forgotten. With thoughts of my safe haven plaguing my mind, feelings of complete euphoria and happiness seeped into my heart.

_I felt my hands clench and was surprised to find that I had grasped what felt like a patch of grass between my fingers. I quickly raised up from my lying position and supported myself with my arms behind my back. The wind blew my hair in a light breeze and I couldn't help but smile at my surroundings. I was back in the field. I wore the same white clothes and there was no blood or sweat to be seen._

_Tall stocks of grass rose to my shoulders and tickled my skin in the breeze. The sun shone brightly and as I stood, I saw the tree in the distance. Underneath the branches stood the same tall figure of the man I had seen before. He stood with his back facing towards me and though I couldn't make out any clearly defining features, I knew that it was him. _

_I tried to call out, but my voice was stolen with the wind. With energy I didn't think I had, I jumped up and began sprinting for the tree nearly a mile away. I loved the harsh wind as it constricted my throat and pushed my body further. If I could just get to him, I felt like everything would be alright._

_As I ran, I felt the fresh breeze give way to a suffocating pressure and my clean clothes were replaced with the blood drenched, torn garb of Earth. Just as I neared close enough to call to the figure, the ground slowly began to slope downwards, taking me with it. I grabbed onto the grass but it gave away with even the slightest of tugs. _

_"Help!" I was surprised to find my voice and even more surprised when the figure quickly turned, as if finally realizing I was there._

_I could only catch a glimpse of the most intense blue eyes I had ever seen before I lost my balance and fell down the increasingly steep hole. I closed my eyes and grabbed for the dirt that now stood vertical to my face, but was surprised to catch hold of a solid steel bar._

I could feel long hair that wasn't mine swing as I climbed and saw Octavia's slender fingers grip the bars in front of me. I raised into the highest floor of the drop ship and came upon a dark sight. I knew I was seeing through Octavia's eyes, but it was not a memory. Her memories were clean and bright, this was dirty and full of shadows. My breath caught as I saw the Grounder, bloody and tied up like an animal about to be skinned.

He did not look like an evil predator anymore, just a man, a very ripped and tattoo-covered man yes, but a man nonetheless. I felt my eyes water at the sight of the monstrosity. I realized that I was finally back in the present, seeing through Octavia's eyes as I felt my own body still lying motionless on the table. It was strange to feel two bodies at once. I tried to distinguish the two different sets of emotions and thoughts, but they all became muffled the harder I tried.

Clarke stormed ahead of me and produced the bloody shard to the Grounder, "What's on this?"

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy looked more worried and stressed than I had ever seen him. A coat of sweat glistened on his skin and his dirty and bloodied clothes hung slack on his body.

"The arrow was poisoned. All this time you knew Alice was going to die no matter what we did." Clarke waved the shard in his face, yet the Grounder's mask never faltered, "What is it? Is there an antidote?" Clarke looked just as upset and desperate as Bellamy.

I wanted to calm Clarke down, but as my mouth moved, Octavia's voice sounded, "Clarke, he doesn't understand you."

"Vials." Bellamy rushed to a box scattered with what I could only guess to be the Grounder's belongings and grabbed a small box full of glass vials, "It's gotta be here."

"You'd have to be stupid to have a poison around this long without an antidote." Clarke took the box and examined the vials.

Octavia's eyes were pulled to the Grounder, who stared intently without fail. They held an unspoken connection that I couldn't quite understand. I don't think Octavia could completely understand it either. I could feel the conflicting emotions rushing through Octavia's head. She had thought the Grounder was protecting us, but there was now proof that I was intended to die all along. Something told me there was more to it than that.

"Which one?" Clarke displayed the box for the Grounder to see clearly but he did not reply.

"Answer the question!" Bellamy's voice raised and caused Octavia to jump.

"Show us please." Octavia pleaded, battling the fear for losing me and her unanswered questions about the Grounder.

"Which one? Our friend is dying down there and you can stop that!" Clarke's anger grew as the Grounder's face gave nothing away.

Bellamy's face looked as if he had finally decided what he had to do and he advanced on the Grounder. I felt Octavia's feet move forward and I encouraged her as she grabbed Bellamy's strong arms to hold him back. I could feel his shaking muscles coil underneath her small hands.

"Bellamy no!"

"He wants Alice to die. Why can't you see that? Do you want her to live or not?" At the last part, Bellamy turned to Clarke and knew he could convince her with those words.

"Clarke you even said it yourself, this is not who we are! He was protecting us. He saved my life." Octavia begged, her heart rate rising.

"We're talking about saving Alice's life." Bellamy countered and Octavia quieted.

I reflected on our time with the Grounder and agreed that nothing added up. He hadn't hurt us, only contained us. If it were true that he meant no harm, why hadn't he revealed the antidote?

"Do it." Clarke's words held a hint of finality to them. It scared me to no end that they might be capable of such things just to save me.

With the realization that I couldn't stop the torture, I sparked a fire inside Octavia and felt as her strong legs jumped to reach the Grounder. One of Bellamy's henchmen grabbed for me, but I was able to brush the large, tattooed arm of the Grounder before another pair of arms grabbed me from behind.

I felt myself fully return to my own body a moment before I could also see Octavia being drug away and Bellamy cutting off the end of a seat belt strap. I met eyes with Clarke, who stared ahead with complete determination. Despite the pain radiating from my body, I could only feel an overpowering calm.

Bellamy advanced with a knife in hand and began to rip the shirt I wore to pieces. As the confusion settled, I realized that I had somehow jumped into the mind of the Grounder. I could not make out any comprehensible thoughts or motivations, only a forced calm.

"You're going to show us the antidote or you're going to wish you had." Bellamy forcefully pulled the shirt off, sending chills down the open wounds on my back.

"Bellamy, no. Please." Octavia stood in the far corner of the room, blocked by the others.

Bellamy looked down before he wrapped the belt around his hand and let the metal piece dangle towards the ground. There was a moment of silence before he raised his hand and slammed down with all force.

My body racked with pain and I simultaneously felt as the Grounder's legs gave out momentarily and my own body still on the table twitched in agony. Bellamy struck again and my body jumped with the Grounders. I could hear Finn calling my name through a thick haze, but the pain was too much and I lost myself...

_I crouched in the branch of a tree, skillfully hidden away. The Sky People had created such a commotion that it wasn't hard to find the girl. She sat on her knees, talking to one of the other Sky People. _

_"Do you think she felt it?" Her voice was weighed down with sadness._

_"Honestly, yes." The boy stood several feet away, following the girls every move as if she might fall to pieces._

_"What do we do?"_

_"We never forget. Charlotte died thinking she was protecting us. She knew she would face consequences for what she had done and she believed death was the answer. She was wrong. Death is never the answer."_

_The boy's comforting words were lost to me as I spotted movement in a nearby tree. The edge of a compact crossbow peaked out from between branches and I only had a moment to think. With practiced precision, I silently moved through the trees and grabbed for the crossbow as three arrows went flying through the air._

_In the struggle, we both fell to the ground. I looked up to find that both the boy and girl were gone. The attacker was slow to raise to his feet and while I had the chance, I ran._

For an unknown reason, the Grounder had attacked one of his own to save me. All three arrows had been meant for me and if he hadn't been there, I would surely be dead. With only that short glimpse, I still found myself asking a million questions in regards to his motivations, but he had saved me nonetheless and that was enough for me.

I could understand his apprehension in giving over the antidote. He was a prisoner. It was his only leverage. However, it wasn't working in his favor as Bellamy let out strike after strike. I heard and felt ribs crack underneath the belt and it was all I could handle.

My body began to convulse again and I felt the hands of Finn hold me down as he called to Clarke, "Clarke! She's getting worse!"

I wasn't sure if the physical wounds were literally projecting themselves onto my body, but it sure as hell felt as if I were the one being hit.

"We're running out of time. Which one? Which one is it?! If you tell us they'll stop. Please! Tell us which one is the antidote and they'll stop this." Clarke kneeled down to the vials spread across the ground and looked up in complete desperation.

Nothing.

"If that doesn't work. Maybe this will." Bellamy produced one of the makeshift weapons and buckled his shoulders, "Last chance."

Between the Grounder's fading vision, I saw as Bellamy pleaded with his eyes. With no response, Bellamy shoved the spike into the Grounder's hand. I could feel the breath rush out of my lungs as I heaved in pain against Finn's strong hands. My own arm curled into itself and shook in pain. The waves of nausea hit and my body calmed...

"What's taking so long? She stopped breathing." Finn climbed up the ladder with hurried speed and headed towards the Grounder before stopping Clarke from rushing back to my body, "She started again, but next time she might not." Octavia gave one last torn look towards the Grounder before heading down the ladder.

"He won't tell us anything." Clarke pushed her hair out of her face furiously and Bellamy sat on one of the storage boxes in exhausted defeat.

"Wanna bet?" Finn's face was mixed with uncertainty and determination as he walked over to a corner full of wires and ripped two out.

"What are you doing?" Clarke stood behind Finn and Bellamy rose.

"Showing him something new." Sparks flew as Finn rubbed the two wires together and for the first time, the Grounder showed true fear.

Without a second glance, Finn pushed the open wires to the Grounder's skin and my entire body buzzed with electricity. The sparks reached my heart and everything stilled...

I felt Octavia's hands on my neck, but I could do nothing, "Oh my God. No!"

Octavia appeared up the ladder again and screamed as she saw the Grounder hang slack against the ropes, "Stop! She's not breathing. Please! She's dying."

Finn continued to apply the wires despite Octavia's pleas and only after several more shocks did he finally stop. I could just barely feel the grasp I held slipping away and strangely enough, I wasn't panicking. I was more worried for the Grounder's sake than mine.

Octavia pushed past the others and knelt down before the Grounder, "He won't let her die. You won't let her die." With renewed urgency, Octavia pointed to each different vial and looked intently into the Grounder's eyes for any sign. They exchanged testing looks for what seemed like forever, then I couldn't believe what happened next.

With a look of uncertain submission, he used his head to motion towards one small glass bottle on the outermost corner, "This one? Good?" Octavia confirmed after a small nod from the Grounder and handed the yellow liquid to Clarke who immediately rushed down the ladder with Finn following closely behind.

With the sound of Clarke calling my name, I was able to finally come back, however the diminishing connection with the Grounder was completely severed. For some reason my life had been spared once again. I felt my head being lifted and hot liquid burned down the back of my throat.


	17. Episode 7 Part 1

"I never really liked the idea of unicorns anyway. They just seem too good to be true. You know, like they've got some hidden agenda to take over the world. I bet they're all stuck up too. What makes you think you're better than a horse just because you've got a stick poking out of your head? Am I right?" Octavia's voice rambled through my consciousness in an endless rant.

I wasn't just yet ready to let everything that had happened sink in and the sound of Octavia's questionable stream of conversation proved to be the perfect distraction. I feared that the slightest movement might break the slowly growing hold I was beginning to grasp.

"And what's up with the whole vampire thing? They drink blood! I don't care what you say, that is so not attractive. I mean think about it, they're all just a bunch of old geezers trying to seduce unwilling young women into giving them a chunk of their neck. No thank you."

"What about werewolves?" I couldn't even muster the energy to wince at the screaming pain that coursed its way through every muscle and bone in my body.

"Oh my gosh! You're awake?!"

I cracked my eyes open to see light shining through a tent and Octavia scrambling out of a chair to approach my side, "I think so."

Material shuffled underneath me as I squirmed to sit up. Even the slightest movement was nauseating, but I pushed myself up onto my arms with only a grunt. As pitiful and sad as it was, I was used to living with pain.

"You shouldn't get up." Despite Octavia's protests, she helped me to fully lean back onto the headboard of the makeshift platform I lay on.

I wearily took in my dirty appearance and sighed. My shirt was ripped and covered in blood, as were my pants. A bandage wrapped across my entire midsection and my shoes had been taken off and set on the edge of the platform. I felt a breeze on my neck and instinctively reached up to my head feeling strange patterns along the length of my hair before it ended in a small tie.

"I braided your hair. Thought it'd feel better if it wasn't in your face. Plus you were sweating so much." Octavia regarded me with slight apprehension, aware that I was still struggling to completely regain my senses.

My hair had never been braided before. I didn't know how to do it and Laura wasn't one to delve too deep into personal hygiene or beauty. It still struck me how precious things might seem to my sheltered mind yet so menial to others.

"Thank you… How long have I…" Memories of the Grounder's cave and Clarke's fingers in my stomach quickly flashed through my mind and I wanted to cringe.

"A night. After Clarke gave you the antidote, we moved you to a tent. The ship is kind of banged up right now." Octavia scratched her head uncomfortably at the last part and my throat went dry. I had lost control of myself and apparently created a storm. It was a new level of weird.

"How bad is it?"

"Just a few things got thrown around here and there. But you should have seen it! There were trees everywhere and it took a couple of hours to find all the tents." Octavia began to ramble again until she noticed the stricken guilt creeping across my face.

"Oh man. Don't you dare feel bad about that. It was friggin awesome! Nobody got hurt and nothing was broken beyond repair. Well, nothing important." I rolled my eyes at Octavia's nonchalant ability to make the best of things.

"Anyways, I should go get Clarke. She wanted to see you when you woke up." Octavia exited the small flap of the tent before sending an encouraging smile my way and leaving me in silence.

If I listened, I could hear the movements and noises of the others inside the camp. I'm sure my destruction had probably set them back days. If my powers kept developing at the rate they were, there was no doubt in my mind that I would no longer just be a danger to myself, but everyone around me as well. My life was turning out to be a neverending torment of stress and regret.

As if telekinesis and mind reading wasn't bad enough, now I had to worry about weather manipulation and not to mention the crazy dream world I couldn't seem to shake out of my mind. It was all connected, yet hidden in an unreachable corner of my mind. I couldn't admit it to myself, but I didn't truly want to know what it all meant just yet. I had enough to deal with.

I thought of the Grounder and could only hope that the beating I had suffered inside his head was the last he would find in the camp. Bellamy and the others had gone to questionable lengths to help me and I couldn't be more grateful, but I would never hold another person's life above myself. The day I could hurt another to help myself was the day I truly was a monster.

I could still feel the lash of the metal whip Bellamy had created stinging against my stomach and the palm of my hand ached just beneath the skin where the Grounder had been stabbed. I examined the dirty skin and past the dried blood and dirt, I could make out the faint stretch of slightly mauled, irritated skin. On a hunch, I pulled the bandage off my stomach and noticed several small dark spots scattered across the sensitive areas of my skin. The arrow wound itself was stitched and cleaned thoroughly. Clarke really had taken care of me. However, there was no helping the strange wounds that had somehow projected onto my body while I was inside the Grounder's mind. I'm sure I wasn't suffering the complete effects of his beating, but it was clear that my body had physically endured a lesser form of what my consciousness had experienced.

Before I could even begin to question that new revelation, Clarke slipped into the tent, letting light shine in briefly before she closed the flap completely. Her face did not hold the same terror as the last time I had seen it, but a mix between concern and unease.

"Thank you so much. I owe you my life Clarke." I was surprised to find a tear slipping from Clarke's blue eyes before she rushed in and hugged me. For a moment, I could ignore the pain and I hugged her back.

"I thought I was going to lose you." Clarke seemed to compose herself and pulled back, wiping the tear away with a smile.

"That would have been too easy." I realized just how much I wished I could find a way to be with Clarke and the others.

"I don't think I can do this without you. So much has happened. I know it's selfish, but I need you Alice. Don't ever do that again. Don't ever think that it will be okay if you just go away." It was eery how Clarke seemed to have read my mind. I found our contrasting point of views ironic to say the least. She thought she needed me. I knew I needed her and the others. I also knew that I was their biggest threat.

"I'm not going anywhere right now." It was all I could give her.

"I can't believe you didn't tell anybody you were shot! You're lucky you're alive." Clarke's emotions seemed to be everywhere as her worry was soon replaced with anger.

Without waiting for a response, she began to examine and tend to the stitches with forced calm, "It already looks better. I'll be able to take the stitches out in a day or two. How…"

I expected Clarke's questioning and quickly replied, "It's the treatments. I heal faster."

"Oh. Well that's convenient." Clarke still seemed slightly uncomfortable with talk of the experiments, but not in a judgmental way, just as if she couldn't quite come to grips with the fact that someone could do the awful things that they had.

"How is the Grounder?" Clarke's face was instantly stricken with guilt.

"He's still tied up in the ship. I don't know what to do with him."

I couldn't tell Clarke that what she had done was okay. She hadn't personally injured the Grounder, but she had let it happen and she clearly felt confused about it all. Although she did not know that I knew exactly what had been done, the guilt on her face was enough to assure me that the decision to let the Grounder be tortured had not come easily to her at least.

"I want to see him. To talk to him. I think there's something we're missing." I didn't really feel like mentioning my little glimpse into the Grounder's mind. I could imagine how Clarke might look at me after she knew that I could possibly see into her own thoughts and memories.

"No! Not right now at least. You may be healing fast, but you're still injured. At least promise me you'll wait until I can take you." Clarke seemed to be struggling internally with herself.

"I can't promise anything. None of this feels right." I didn't have to explain that I was referring to keeping the Grounder prisoner. It was clear that the same thoughts had crossed Clarke's mind.

"There's something else you should know. We've made contact with the Arc. Raven was able to set up a video conference this morning." I remembered the electronic voice leading Clarke through extracting the splinter from my stomach. It must have been her mother.

I couldn't hide the fear in my voice, "Did you tell them about me?"

"Of course not. They don't know anything." Clarke seemed surprised that I thought she might give me up.

"They can't know I'm here. They don't need me anymore. The radiation hasn't killed you so they don't need me." The realization struck me in the gut. They didn't need me. Which meant I was expendable.

"Alice. I would never tell them or anyone anything about you. We'll figure this out together." The confidence in Clarke's voice almost made me believe it. Her comforting words also brought Octavia to mind.

"Octavia knows. I had to do something in the caves. I used my powers."

"I doubt she will say anything. She doesn't have anyone on the Arc to contact anyway. I'll talk to her though."

I hadn't necessarily meant that she would give me up intentionally. I began to think of all the instances I might have given away my secret. Anyone in the camp could have seen something. I could feel the threat of the Council thousands of miles away. They would always haunt me.

"Hey, am I interrupting anything?" Finn's round face hung between the tent's opening as his dark hair fell over his eyes.

"No, I was just finishing here." Clarke did not turn around, but responded with cold indifference. I wonder what happened there.

Finn proceeded to enter the tent, having to crouch slightly. Clarke set the medical supplies she had been messing with aside and squeezed my hand, "I'll be back later."

Without a look towards Finn, Clarke left the tent. I had begun to think they were developing a bond, but it seemed as if Clarke regarded him with the same distaste as the day we had landed on Earth. Something had definitely happened.

I looked to Finn who was momentarily lost in his thoughts, most likely regarding Clarke. I almost laughed at the sad puppy eyes he was unintentionally making. My struggle not to giggle brought his attention to me and the sad glare was quickly replaced with a welcoming smile.

For a moment, we just stared at each other, his infectious grin affecting me, both smiling like complete idiots. Then his gaze drifted lower and his grin faded as he took in my stitched stomach. I felt somewhat self conscious at my exposed skin. The shirt Clarke had ripped just barely covered my breasts and my pants had been tugged down low enough to show the slight indention's along my protruding hip bones.

Finn seemed to finally notice my discomfort and shifted his attention back to my face. I noticed his jacket seemed unusually full and with my questioning glare, his smile returned and he sat down next to me on the blankets. He opened the folds of his jacket and several things fell out in front of me. I leaned forward with his encouraging nods and sifted through the contents.

The first thing that caught my eye nearly made me jump in excitement. He had somehow found Peter and Wendy. I couldn't even remember when it had fell out of my possession. I picked up the book gingerly and flipped through the pages. Several were slightly smudged with red, my blood, but it looked as if Finn had tried to wipe it away.

"I found it outside the drop ship. Covered in blood of course. You had me worried for a minute there." Finn's tone held a serious undertone that I had only heard a handful of times before. I still couldn't accept that my endangerment had produced such a response.

"Thank you." I inhaled the scent of the book and my nerves were momentarily calmed. Setting the book down I grabbed a piece of soft grey cloth.

"They're from the bunker. I hope they're the right size. I thought you could use a change of outfit. You know, because yours is covered in blood and… Torn. Not that I'm complaining." Finn's eyes grew devious at the last remark and I would have slapped him if I hadn't thought at least three of my ribs were bruised.

"You're a pig." I could feel my face contorting into a smile despite my intention to look angry and intimidating.

"I know. Put them on." Finn waited and after a second, seemed to finally realize what I was trying to convey with my face, "Oh... I'll leave you to it then." He stood from the bed and left the tent with a smile that was overly confident for the situation. Someone like Finn must have been so used to contact of the female persuasion that he hadn't thought twice about me changing in front of him. Boys. I rolled my eyes and focused on the task at hand.

I had suffered at the hands of fatigue and nausea for most of my life, but never felt the agony of broken bones or arrows through the stomach. I had never understood that even the ability to put your own clothes on can be taken for granted. Now I did. It took at least a full minute to scoot myself to the edge of the platform I lay on and I had already begun to break out in a thin layer of sweat.

My right side had taken the brunt of the pain and even the smallest attempt at raising my arm was vomit inducing. With much effort however, I was able to wiggle my left arm out of the shirt. After a string of mumbled curses, I was just about to give up when the tent flaps rustled open and sent me jumping into the air.

"Clarke said you were awake so I…." Bellamy was in the tent before he met my eyes and took in my disheveled appearance with the clothes lying scattered on the floor where I had thrown them in frustration. The shirt lay half dangling across my neck and half on my arm. I rushed to cover myself, but gasped in pain as the quick movements pulled my chest apart. I think my entire body must have turned red. Bellamy Blake was staring at my boobs.

The strangest thing happened next. He didn't laugh or run out of the tent with his tail between his legs, but his face grew eerily dark. He approached me with confidence. Not the casual poise that Finn had displayed earlier, but a collected certainty that nearly took me back.

"What are you doing?" I inhaled the scent of pine trees as he kneeled in front of me and took my breath away. I knew he couldn't know what had happened to me on the Arc, but sitting there, exposed as I was, felt as if he knew all he needed to.

"Trust me." I only slightly winced as his strong hands grabbed the torn cloth underneath my breasts and pulled, ripping the entire shirt down the middle. His dark eyes stayed locked with mine the entire time, never once looking down. I felt his warm skin brush mine as he carefully pulled the tattered cloth off of my arm. I finally broke contact as he reached down to grab the new shirt from the ground.

I couldn't make myself look into that intense stare as he pulled the bottom of the grey sweater open and only slightly hesitated before slipping it over my head. With a gentle touch that I couldn't imagine possible, Bellamy led one arm after the other into the sleeves and I was surprised to realize that I hadn't felt any pain.

I looked to the darker grey cargo pants on the ground and nearly died right then and there. Was I really going to let him take my pants off? I didn't have much time to question it as his eyes forced mine to meet his. He was asking permission. My head nodded yes before I could stop myself and God help me, Bellamy unzipped my pants. His eyes still never left mine as he skillfully loosened the zipper and popped the button out. I felt my stomach twitch in at the slightest graze of his fingers.

His arms slid underneath mine and lifted me into the air. I clutched his strong back muscles as my stitching stretched against my skin and felt as he slid my pants down towards my knees and set me back down. I let my right arm slide back down to my side but clutched at the shoulder of his dark shirt with my left. I felt as if I were about to fall straight through the Earth without Bellamy anchoring me down.

Staying close enough for my grip to keep hold, he pulled the pants down the rest of the way past my knees and off my feet. Unwilling to meet his eyes, I stared at my own bare legs. It was all happening so fast that I couldn't fully comprehend what it all meant. He was making a point to keep his gaze fixed on my face, as if he didn't dare violate my privacy any more than necessary.

I watched as he lifted the new pair of pants to my feet and silently slipped both legs in. His muscles tensed beneath my hand as he smoothly slipped the pants up my legs and lifted me once again. I looked up to stop the unwanted tears from falling down my face as his arm pressed against my ribs. With one swift push, he maneuvered the pants around my hips and fully onto my body. The movement brought his face next to mine, nestling in the crook of my neck.

I gripped his shirt so tight that it pulled against his neck, showing off his defined collar bone. Forest and camp fire filled my nose as it brushed against his hair. He seemed to be momentarily frozen in place, as if he just realized what he was doing. He pulled back so our noses were inches apart, but before he could pull back further, I gripped his shirt, keeping him close.

"I'm still trying to figure you out." I was startled at the sound of his husky voice breaking the thick silence.

"Don't." I was further surprised to hear my own hoarse voice reply.

We were so close I could see the light freckles scattered across his nose and the tiny scar just above his lip. Then I was staring at his lips. Then they were moving closer to mine. And we were kissing.

My stomach did a completely different flip as his lips touched mine and sent a current running through my body. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer.

_"__Are you alone?" A staticky voice sounded urgently and I opened my eyes to see a small screen sitting in front of me. A man in a guard's uniform sat hunched over on the screen, fading in and out._

_"__What do you want?" Bellamy's voice spoke as my lips moved._

_"__You shot the chancellor, they're not going to forgive that when they come down." The man looked around nervously and waited for a reply._

_"__I'll be long gone by then." Bellamy stated cooly, but I could feel the fear rising in my chest._

_"__What if you didn't have to run? Is the subject still alive?" _

_Anger quickly replaced the fear, "Her name is Alice."_

_Bellamy realized too late the mistake he had made and rushed to cover his words, "She died three days ago. A bear attack."_

_"You're lying." The simple statement sent chills down my spine, "It would be a shame if all you did for your sister was useless. So many things could happen that are out of your control. Octavia is such a promising girl. I'm sure you wouldn't want to see her hurt just as she found true freedom."_

_"What do you want?" Bellamy repeated with a deadly tone._

_"__Kill Alice."_


	18. Episode 7 Part 2

_Kill Alice._

The air came rushing in my lungs as I jerked back and scrambled towards the farthest edge of the platform. A single strand of hair had escaped my braids and I pushed it off of my sweaty forehead. Bellamy stayed kneeling down beside the platform with a look of confusion on his face.

"Please don't." My eyes darted around the tent like crazy, looking for a way out.

"Alice. I'm sorry, I…" Bellamy started to rise and I lost it.

I guess nearly dying does something to you. I wasn't quite in control of my emotions and when Bellamy stood towering over me all I saw was the man who imprisoned me. The man who held my life in his hands as if it were nothing.

"Don't kill me, please." I don't know what Bellamy was going to say, but my mumbling stopped him cold.

The tent stilled and Bellamy stared silently for too long, "How do you know about that?"

"What's going on?" The light shining on Clarke's golden hair was the most welcome sight I had ever seen.

Bellamy looked to me in response, then seemed to change his mind and backed away, turning to Clarke, "What do you want?"

Suspicion clouded Clarke's face and she looked to me for an answer. I didn't have one. The way I saw it, if Bellamy had gone into that tent to kill me, I would have been dead already. There was no way he would kill me right in front of Clarke, let alone in the middle of the camp. I was safe. For now at least.

I nodded convincingly enough to Clarke and she reluctantly let the tension slide, "The Arc found some old records that show a supply depot not too far from here."

"What kind of supplies?" Bellamy seemed hesitant to ignore what had just happened, but Clarke's words proved too enticing.

"The kind that might give us a chance to live through the winter. I'm going to go check it out. I could use some backup." At the last part, Clarke looked to Bellamy.

"Why are you asking me?" Bellamy put his hands into his pockets and seemed to regain some of his usual arrogant haughtiness.

"Well, because right now I don't feel like being around anyone I actually like." Ouch.

After an awkward moment of silence and a stare down from a calculating Bellamy, he seemed to finally find his response, "I'll get my stuff, meet you in ten." Then he was walking out of the tent as if we hadn't just kissed and I hadn't just accused him of trying to kill me.

Clarke's mood only seemed to have darkened since the last time I had seen her and I was beginning to grow worried. Not only had something happened between her and Finn, but I assumed that making contact with her mother must have brought forth some less than pleasant memories.

"This is probably going to take all day. I've already asked Octavia to change your bandages in a few hours so you should be fine until I get back." I barely registered Clarke's words as thoughts of Bellamy plagued my mind, "Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Yes. Just… Be careful out there okay?" I didn't think Bellamy would harm her, but I was starting to find that I might not have known Bellamy as well as I thought or hoped.

"I can take care of myself. You just make sure to steer clear of any flying arrows while I'm gone." Just as Clarke rose to leave, she finally noticed that I had acquired a new outfit and after a slightly confused nod goodbye, she left the tent as well.

The cool breeze that sifted through the tent found its way through the stitched cloth of my sweater and sent a chill down my spine. I rubbed the soft material of my sleeves self consciously and wondered how cold it truly was. I had quickly realized that the others didn't fare so well against the weather as I watched them try to hide shivers and shaking teeth. Clarke was right to be worried about the coming winter.

I looked down to my clothes in a new light. One that wasn't shrouded in steamy Bellamy lips. The sweater was slightly worn, but the stiff cargo pants looked brand new. Finn had also replaced the bloody jacket with a similar heavy green cardigan. I didn't have the energy to slip the cardigan on even if I wanted to. My body ached in a dull exhaustion that was beginning to closely mirror my time on the Arc too much for comfort.

I forced myself to ignore the pain and settled back into an uncomfortable position against the hard headboard of my platform. Despite my unease in such a small and confined space, I was in no mood to face the rest of the camp. I faintly remembered all of the anxious faces watching as Clarke tried to save me. I had made quite a scene.

It was all I could do to process one thing at a time. Clarke. Bellamy. The Grounder. The Arc. I was not accustomed or equipped to handle multiple life-changing situations. At least all I had to worry about in my room was the next treatment. Naturally, I resolved to ignore the more personal dilemmas and decided to focus on the Grounder.

He had saved me. For some reason, I had been targeted and the Grounder had defied what I could only assume to be one of his own to help me. I remembered feeling the anxiety and fear he had felt that night. He had risked everything for me. It wasn't hard to come to the conclusion that I had to free him. I wouldn't let him be tortured or killed because of me.

The only question was how I was going to do it. I wasn't really in the best health and there was no way I was getting through the camp undetected, let alone with a hulking Grounder in tote. I didn't doubt that Bellamy would have his own guards on the Grounder at all times. With much thought, I reluctantly came to the possibility of using my powers to create a distraction, but there was no guarantee that I could control myself.

I wasn't willing to put anyone else in danger by asking for help, though I'm sure Finn or the others would have volunteered without much convincing needed. I was responsible for the Grounder's entrapment and I would find a way to free him. First I needed to walk.

My scheming was interrupted before it began as Finn's head poked back through the entrance of the tent. After a quick inspection and a nod of approval, Finn made his way in with ease, followed by a familiar looking girl.

"I've got someone I want you to officially meet. This is Raven. The one that came down in the capsule. She fixed up the radio while you were out and helped get a hold of Clarke's mom." Finn pushed the girl forward proudly, as if he were showing her off.

"It was nothing." Raven ignored Finn's proud grin and stood, unsure of how exactly to conduct herself around the victim.

"Thank you." I meant it.

Raven nodded and pulled a small white package out of her jacket pocket, "I thought you might be hungry."

I grabbed for the package, wincing as I momentarily forgot that movement meant pain, "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay. It doesn't hurt that bad anymore." Lies.

"You're stronger than I am. I can't believe that you were shot with a freaking arrow. It went straight through your stomach." Raven quickly seemed to warm up to me as her filter faded away, but before she went on any further, Finn gave her a look that shut her down. And that's when I saw it.

I had grown suspicious that Finn and Clarke's relationship had begun to fall far beneath the labels of just friends and allies. They shared a connection that communicated itself in a way that couldn't be mistaken for common acquaintances. I could clearly see that same connection between Finn and Raven. I'm sure Clarke could see it too. That was going to be interesting.

I beheld the strange packaging that Raven had given me and considered my options. I had yet to feel the pangs of hunger, but I was sure that my body could not run much longer without some kind of sustenance. I had seen the other campers curl their lips in disgust at the non perishable space food. I hadn't expected my first piece of real food on earth to be nuts.

However, Raven and Finn looked to me expectantly and I opened the package with some trouble. I hoped that they might attribute my clumsiness to being shot rather than the truth, which was that I had never done anything like it before. With a huff, I popped the little brown nut into my mouth and crunched down. It was strange to say the least.

"Clarke said there's a supply depot nearby? That we might finally find something we could use out here." I struggled to speak past the chewed pieces of nut floating about in my mouth. It was disgusting.

"Yeah. She didn't think anybody else should go until she checked it out. Said it could be nothing." Finn's worry for Clarke was evident.

"Finn, Clarke is a big girl. She can take care of herself." As evident as Raven's jealousy. Though not to Finn it seemed. Boys. They're all idiots. I popped another nut into my mouth. I liked Raven.

"What about the Grounder? Is he still in the drop ship?" It hadn't been long since I had spoken to Clarke, but anything could have happened.

"Yeah, he's fine right now." Finn's face was immediately cast with shadows. He had tortured the Grounder as well. Electrocuted him. For me.

"I don't understand why everybody is so butt hurt about this Grounder guy." Raven had immediately noticed our sullen faces, "I would have done the exact same thing if it was you Finn. Maybe worse."

I couldn't find an appropriate reply, so I ate another nut.

"Yeah well, all that matters is that Alice is alive." Finn forced the shadows from his face and continued, "I guess we should leave you to rest. Let us know if you need anything, okay?"

After waiting for a nod of understanding from me, Finn and Raven left the tent. It seemed that every visit held its own set of surprises and revelations. I was on drama overload.

With the tension subsided, I realized just how awful the pieces of nut floating around in my mouth actually tasted. I threw the bag onto the ground next to me and stopped myself from crossing my arms in frustration. It seemed that my mind couldn't quite understand what my body had gone through. I kept forgetting that I was broken.

I inhaled the stale scent that all of the tents seemed to give off. It was a mixture of mold and the outside. The wind whipped against the sides of the tent, creating a very calming sound.

Clarke and Bellamy's departure would be the best opportunity for me to get to the Grounder. I would have to think of an escape plan soon if I was going to have any chance to free the Grounder. However, it seemed that the harder I tried to think, the faster my brain turned to mush. I felt as the skin on my face drooped down and my body tingled in an unexpected bliss that dulled all of my senses. I offhandedly remembered experiencing similar feelings when they were gracious enough to give me pain killers on the Arc.

My thoughts were set loose and suddenly it was very hard to remember what I had been so worried about seconds ago. My heartbeat increased and I could feel my mouth go dry. I knew I should be worried, but I wasn't. In fact, I could feel all my inhibitions drifting away. I pulled my shirt up and felt giggles erupt from my mouth as I spotted the circular bruises hidden among my stomach. It was hard to remember just how much they had hurt when I felt so good in that moment.

I found myself lying down on my back with one hand stretched above my head and the other fondling the stitches poking out of my skin. I liked the tickling sensation it caused as I lightly tugged at the hard string. Somehow, I had lost perception of time and it felt as if hours could have gone by as I did nothing but watch the sun travel across the sky through the small opening in the roof of the tent.

_"Did you know that an elephant's nose is so strong, it can bend time and space?" Belle used her arm to fake an elephant's trunk and threw herself around in circles. I couldn't hold in my giggles as I grabbed the bark of the tree to hold myself up._

_"Okay, okay. I got one. Did you know that walruses are actually avid readers of the modern day romance novel?" I sat cross-legged with the bark scraping against my back and Belle followed suit, plopping herself down in front of me._

_The sun was setting, creating an orange cast against the large field. We had been playing a game of "Did you know?" as Belle had so inventively called it, for hours. On calm days such as that, Belle liked to make up fantastical facts that she considered too good to be true. If a fact was interesting enough, we would make up entire stories to explain just how reasonable it was._

_"Oh okay, so like Edward Cullen and stuff? I'm sure they really get off on those strapping young boy heroes. I personally like a girl who can take care of herself. No knight in shining armor needed." Belle began to ramble, already working through every possibility and outcome of an intellectual walrus._

_I scooted down so I was lying face up and happily listened to Belle's musings of walrus fangirls. The sunlight just barely peaked through the covering of the tree and just as I was about to doze off, a leg drooped over the side of one of the larger branches and swung back and forth aimlessly. My eyes squinted tight, trying to make out who the white panted leg belonged to. _

_"Hey!" I propped myself back up onto my elbows and watched as the leg stilled at the sound of my voice._

_"Oh don't worry about him. He's in one of his moods today." Belle waved the foot off as if it were nothing and the cloud surrounding my head began to lift. _

_Grounders hid in trees. My heartbeat picked up and confusion broke away any calm. I had somehow found my way into the inbetween again. Hidden memories mixed with present worries and I struggled to suppress the rising fear. I looked up for only a second and when I turned back around to ask Belle what was going on, I found myself in a familiar open clearing of the forest._

_"Belle?" Too late. She was gone._

_A rustle sounded sounded above me and I jumped to my feet. Several leaves fell to the ground before me and I looked up to meet eyes with an eerily familiar green and piercing stare hidden beneath the hood of a white jacket. I backed away from the tree and into the open of the clearing. _

_"Alice?" A boy's deep voice rumbled from the hunched figure in the branches. I knew that voice._

_"Who…" My question was cut off as everything slowed and I heard a small rip and slush sound as three tiny arrows flew into the ground before us. The figure threw itself out of the tree just as I clutched at my lower abdomen. I heard my name called one last time before everything disappeared..._

My consciousness struggled to regain its hold as it found its way back from the inbetween. I had to be going crazy. In a trance, I raised from the makeshift bed and walked towards the opening of the tent.

The sun was well on its way to setting and the breeze from earlier had disappeared. Once I labored through the dizziness, I seemed to grasp a hold of my senses and found my mouth gaping open at the sight before me. Boxes lay turned over and fires dwindled as everyone walked, or rather, stumbled about aimlessly. Some sat with their knees drawn to their chests, mumbling to themselves, others lumbered about, throwing their clothes to the ground. I was definitely crazy.

It occurred to me that I no longer felt the pain in my stomach or hand. However, my arm still cradled my stomach protectively. I made to take a step further and felt as a body came crashing into me, only to grab me before I fell.

"Shit, sorry. Oh Alice! Thank God you're okay. They're all completely baked." Octavia steadied me and scanned the camp urgently as if she were looking for something.

"Baked?" I had never heard the term before.

"Stoned. High. It has to be something in the food. You didn't eat any nuts did you?" I looked at her quizzically. Each word she said only confused me more. Baked as in cooking food. Stoned meant throwing rocks at someone. High was in the sky. How could nuts do all this to everybody?

Octavia searched my face and understanding crossed her face, "You ate them didn't you? Okay, wait here, I'll go get something to help you out." Before I could say anymore, Octavia was gone.

Despite all of the questions raging through my head, one thought kept repeating itself above all else. The nuts had provided my distraction. Now I could actually have a chance at freeing the Grounder. Octavia quickly forgotten, I silently walked past the mumbling campers and into the empty drop ship.

I wasn't really thinking as I climbed the ladder into the dark room and I was struck speechless as I found myself face to face with the Grounder.


	19. Episode 7 Part 3

I stumbled forward, searching the room for any of Bellamy's goons, but was relieved to find none. The Grounder stood with his head down, casting a shadow over his beaten and bloody face. I had to stop myself from jumping as he silently raised to meet his own dark eyes with mine.

"You speak English don't you?" I don't know how I knew, but seeing through his memories had somehow led me to believe that he could understand us.

A look of uncertainty passed his face, then he nodded yes.

"What's your name?" There were so many other things I could have said or asked in that moment, but for some reason I felt that I had to know his name.

After a moment of silence, he seemed reluctant to reply, "Lincoln."

He had saved my life, that didn't mean he was jumping at the chance to make nice with me. I, however, didn't seem to care as the stupid nuts continued to loosen my tongue, "Like the president right? He's my favorite. I always loved his top hat…" I trailed off as I glanced over Lincoln's large shoulders and saw flashes of the hooded boy in white standing tall and staring at me with those hypnotizing green eyes.

I blinked and he was gone, but I was able to momentarily shake the delusions away and focused on Lincoln who stared at me with weary caution, "I'm getting you out of here, okay?"

I grabbed a sharp piece of metal from the ground and with a burst of strength I didn't know I had, I cut through the tight rope holding his left arm into the air. His arm slammed to his side and he grunted in pain. As I hurried to the rope holding the other arm I couldn't ignore the urge to learn more about this mysterious man who saved my life.

I knew I only had limited time and that anyone could walk in on us, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. I held the metal shard to the rope, but stopped short and looked up to his pained face, "Why did you stop the attack on me? Why did you save me?"

Surprise mixed with a begrudging grimace crossed his face as he struggled to stay standing. He didn't know that I knew he had been there the night I was shot. How could he?

In that moment, he seemed to decide something, "You are Serafen." At first I didn't quite hear him through his labored gasps. When I finally did comprehend what he had said, I had no idea what it meant.

I shook my head in frustration and finally cut the rope, nearly sending him to his knees. I made to help him up, but thought better of it.

"Alice?" Octavia pushed her way through the opening in the floor, struggling to hold a handful of clothes.

"We have to let him go Octavia." I prepared a speech despite my rising suspicion that Octavia was up to something herself.

"I know. You shouldn't be up here." Octavia rushed to the other side of Lincoln and started working on the rope wrapped around his ankles, confirming my suspicion. She had come to set him free as well.

"Neither of you should be doing this. They'll know it was you." The ease with which Lincoln spoke was somewhat surprising. He had been so quiet while they had beaten him.

"Just get dressed." We both managed to free him from the ropes and Octavia proceeded to throw the clothes she had carried in over his bloody body, "You said it yourself. Stay here, you'll die. I'm not gonna let that happen."

I realized Octavia's strained words meant that she had in fact spoken to him while I had been recovering in the tent. The two had made a connection and I could see his worry for her. He regarded me, however, with a vigilant caution.

"I can't put you in danger like this." Lincoln failed to convince Octavia as she continued to dress him despite his weak protests.

I didn't truly believe that Octavia was in danger, otherwise I would have been arguing the same thing. Bellamy had everyone in the camp wrapped around his fingers and there was no way he would let any harm come to Octavia. If it did come down to it however, I would certainly take all the blame.

"We have to do this now. We only have…" I caught myself trailing off again as images of Belle playfully sneaking behind a stack of crates distracted any thoughts I had.

"What's wrong with her?" I embarrassedly looked back to Lincoln and Octavia who both starred with questioning gazes.

"She ate something. The entire camp did. They're seeing all kinds of things right now." Octavia was almost finished throwing the clothes on Lincoln.

"Jobi nuts, the food you gave my guard, they go bad, they cause visions. But it wears off." I licked my teeth in annoyance as Lincoln spoke. I was never eating a nut again.

"Just try and get as far as you can. And try not to get yourself killed." Lincoln was fully disguised and Octavia half carried him to the opening in the floor.

I could feel the urgency in the room and though I wished everything would slow down for just a moment, I couldn't bring myself to take control of the situation. Lincoln turned to go, then slowly approached Octavia and grabbed her in a passionate kiss. My jaw dropped for the second time that day. I licked my lips helplessly and after several stunned seconds, cleared my throat.

The two pulled away from each other and Lincoln looked to me, "Thank you. Both of you." And then he was gone.

Octavia looked slightly stricken and though I knew the danger wasn't completely avoided, I couldn't help but smile, "He just kissed you."

"Yeah." Octavia shook herself out of her daze and wiped the sweat from her forehead, "Let's get you back to the tent before you hurt yourself."

"I should have known you would come for him. You're amazing. So much stronger and braver than I am. That's why I need to go. If anything happened to you because of me I could never forgive myself." I could feel my face burn as I tried to hold back my words, but it was useless. It was like a dam had broken and my thoughts were rushing out in a roaring rapid.

"What are you talking about? Nothing is going to happen to me and you're not going anywhere." Octavia ignored my rambling and pulled my arm around her neck.

She had no idea that her life was truly in danger and it was most definitely my fault. Bellamy was gone for now, but it would be stupid of me to think that he would choose me over Octavia. I certainly wouldn't. As she helped me down the ladder with much grunting and swearing, I knew what I had to do. I would finally follow through with one of my original plans. It was time to leave the 100.

Unfortunately, I was in no condition to walk away without worry. I needed at least one more night. I could sneak enough supplies away and be off without anyone knowing any better. I doubted anyone would miss me too much with everything that was happening and even if they did, I would be long gone before they could even think of stopping me.

As we made our way through the opening of the drop ship, I saw that the sun had completely set and fires now burned, lighting the camp. The hysteria from earlier seemed to have lost its hold somewhat and most everyone sat around with lost looks on their faces. Several people lay sprawled on the ground as if they fell asleep were they stood.

The fresh air seemed to clear my muddled thoughts and I started to tell Octavia that I was better but before I could get anything out, the contents of my stomach forced themselves out and onto the ground. My body racked itself trying to rid the foreign substance out and Octavia grabbed my arm, holding me up as she had Lincoln just minutes before.

Strangely enough, puking my guts out was the best thing that could have happened in that moment. The muscles in my stomach screamed, but my mind was finally free. I didn't even have the luxury to be embarrassed at any of the strange behavior I might have exhibited earlier, now that I was thinking straight my main priority was finding an escape and keeping Octavia safe.

"I'm okay now." I straightened up from Octavia and wiped at my mouth. She must have seen something in my face because she seemed to believe me and regarded me with a renewed seriousness.

"We should walk around the camp. Make sure everyone sees us out and about." Octavia lowered her voice and looked around.

I nodded in agreement and Octavia grabbed my arm in support. Instinct pulled my other arm to my side in protection. We didn't get far before we spotted Finn and Raven tending to some of the more severe cases of delusion.

"Alice, thank God. I couldn't find you in the tent. I saw the empty bag of nuts on the ground and figured you had wandered off. I was just about to go looking for you. " Finn stood with one leg hiked up on a box as he dumped a package of nuts into the fire.

"We went for a walk. I was with her the whole time. She's better now though." Octavia spoke before I could even think of an excuse.

"You were spared the hallucinations?" Raven stood from a passed out girl on the ground and wiped her hands off, eyeing Octavia suspiciously.

"I wasn't hungry. What about you two?" Octavia was quick to defend and even quicker to accuse.

Raven and Finn looked to each other guiltily and Finn finally spoke up, "We were, uh, busy." I didn't have to wonder too hard to understand what that meant. Finn's cheeks lit up slightly and I rolled my eyes. Despite his charms, he was still a boy at heart.

"Gross guys. Really gross." Octavia seemed to share my reaction as she pulled me away and sat us down by one of the smaller fires.

I couldn't help the small grunt as I let myself fall into a ship seat that had been ripped out and made into a chair. Octavia noticed and pulled herself from her own distracted thoughts, looking to me in concern, "Are you really okay? I mean I know you're amazing and all, but even you have to take a hit every once and awhile. Right?"

I leaned back into the seat and chuckled, "I will be fine. I think the nuts actually took the pain away for the most part." I secretly hated to admit that the stupid things had actually served a purpose.

"Good. So what did you see?" I had to think before I understood that Octavia was referring to the hallucinations.

I was reluctant to explore the mysterious memories of the InBetween place as I now called it. Just as it did with some of the first memories I had regained, I felt as my brain blocked the answers I needed. Even a sliver of recollection in regards to the boy in white made my temple throb.

"I'm not sure. Something from back on the Arc, I think." I avoided making eye contact with Octavia and looked to my feet instead. That's when I realized that I wasn't wearing any shoes. Great.

Octavia began to talk about her own exiting hallucinogenic experiences back on the Arc and I searched the camp. Despite their weakened states, I felt the pressure of knowing that any one of them could be a threat. It was obvious that the guard's threats against Octavia could only be carried out by another camper. It would be the perfect opportunity to make a move.

With a horrible realization, I came to the conclusion that Bellamy must have been experiencing his fair share of side effects from the nuts. That was most likely why he had left Octavia alone and gone off with Clarke before killing me. That could have also been why he helped me in the tent. Why he kissed me.

I couldn't stop the shame that sat in the bottom of my stomach. How could I have even for a moment believed that he would kiss me. I didn't know how much he knew about me or my powers, but there was no denying that he knew I was a science experiment. Something to be studied and thrown away once it proved useless. That was basically what the guard had implied.

Fear seeped its way into my thoughts as I also realized that Clarke must have eaten the nuts as well. They were both out there alone and hallucinating. Despite his mission to kill me, I was worried for the both of them. They faced dangers ranging from Grounders to animals and even the weather could kill out there. Just as thoughts of going after them entered my mind, my plans were interrupted.

"He's gone, the Grounder is gone!" Miller, one of Bellamy's right hand men emerged from the ship fully aware and yelling. His commotion roused most of the campers and I could feel the terror bleeding into the weak minds full of crazy nuts.

"What if he brings other Grounders back? He'll kill us all. Or worse." Several concerns were voiced all at once as tension rose. Both Octavia and I rose from the fire and cautiously watched the scene unfold.

"Let the Grounders come. We've been afraid of them for too long. And why? Because of their knives and spears. I don't know about you. I'm tired of being afraid." Bellamy entered the camp followed by Clarke, both with hulking lumps strung across their shoulders. His presence commanded all of the camp's attention and everyone crowded around them, leaving little room for Octavia and I to see from far away.

I noticed that both of them also looked a little worse for wear. Bellamy's face in particular was covered in dried blood and bruises. Something had happened while they had been gone. All that mattered was that they were safe though. They looked to each other and dropped the bulges to the ground, revealing them to be guns. A lot of guns.

Exclamations sounded through the crowd with the exception of a few weary faces including Finn, Octavia, and myself. Flashes of the bullet slicing through the Gaurd's chest on the Arc reminded me just how powerful guns could be. It had only further proved that they were just as hard to control as they were deadly.

Clarke immediately noticed Finn's disapproval and responded to the cries of joy, "These are weapons, okay, not toys. And we have to be prepared to give them up to the Guard when the drop ships come, but until then, they're gonna help keep us safe."

"And there are plenty more where these came from. Tomorrow we start training and if Grounders come, we're gonna be ready to fight." Once again, Bellamy's certainty infected the campers and convinced most everyone. While they may have provided protection at some point, I couldn't see anything good coming from such power. It was the same death that I could feel coursing through my veins. It was a weapon.

Octavia turned and headed towards the outer wall of the camp, obviously wanting some space and time to think. The crowd dispersed but excited murmurs still sounded through the air. Not willing to take shelter under the confines of the tent just yet, I eased back into the chair and fidgeted with my fingers.

I continued to scan every face and action surrounding me, keeping a special eye on Octavia who stood looking out towards the woods, not too far away from me. The activity of the camp returned to normal but I could feel all of my senses on high alert. I don't know how long I sat watching, but I looked back down to the fire and noticed its flame had had begun to ebb.

I could feel the heat pierce my face, but continued to stare into the chaos of oranges and reds. The movement instilled an unease in my stomach and I looked up to meet eyes with a passing Bellamy. My heart rate increased three times its normal beat and just like that, he looked away and continued walking. He was headed towards Octavia who still stood looking into the trees.

He held a bright blanket in his hands and carefully draped it across her shoulders. I looked back into the fire to give them privacy, but my ears couldn't help but overhear.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but you'll have to find a way to live with me. Because I'm not going anywhere." Bellamy's voice drifted across the fire and was returned with silence.

I knew the two siblings relationship had experienced a handful of trying tests, but whatever had happened between the brother and sister must have really caused them both equal heartache. I could understand Octavia enough by then to know that her silence was not that of a child throwing a tantrum. She loved Bellamy, but they were both too proud for their own good. It only showed how much he loved her in return that he could relent to her even after what happened.

"Bellamy. It's time." Clarke approached from several feet away and interrupted the quiet.

Bellamy started to walk away, but turned back to Octavia, "The Grounder escaping. Was that you?"

I felt my throat close and my entire body stilled, as if movement might give away our secret, "I had nothing to do with it."

More silence. Bellamy turned to leave again.

"Thanks for the blanket." And just like that, the conversation was over. It definitely wasn't a truce, but for the Blake siblings, it was as close as it was going to get in that moment.

Bellamy followed Clarke into a tent without another glance towards me and I couldn't help but wonder what they were up to. My mind was stretched as it was, what with escape plans and murder plots. I didn't think on it too much. In fact, after several more minutes I finally conceded to return to my tent. It seemed that Octavia was safe enough in the open publicity of the rest of the camp.

I crouched through the flaps and approached the platform, grabbing my book and flipping through the pages. There was something so comforting about the childish Peter Pan. The very name struck a chord in my heart that I couldn't understand. I traced my fingers across the illustration of Peter as he sat in guard of Wendy's little house that the Lost Boys had built around her while she was sleeping.

"Peter." I muttered it to myself and just as I began to grasp the memory I needed, two large hands wrapped around my mouth and covered my nose.

I lost my footing as I was pulled into the hard chest of my assailant and found my struggles useless as the air was cut off from my lungs. Bellamy had finally come to meet his end of the bargain.


	20. Apology

Hello everyone! I know it has been a long time since my last update and I feel like I need to explain why... I just moved into my new place at Texas State University (Eat em up!) and my classes will start Tuesday so I've had a lot of things going on. This is my first year at college and I have no idea what I'm doing so I'm trying really hard to get things done right (any suggestions or advice on college life would be amazing :D). I promise I'm still writing though and I definitely won't give up any time soon. Things will just take a little longer to get done for a while I'm sorry for the inconvenience! ... And on that note, thank you guys so much for keeping up with me and being patient. I love you guys! 3


	21. Episode 7 Part 4

Bellamy had finally come to meet his end of the bargain.

I scratched at the rough hands cutting my life supply off and felt my eyes bulge as dark spots crossed my vision. Behind my own screaming thoughts I could hear labored grunts as my body was held in a death grip. I didn't have time to feel the betrayal as I fought to breathe.

"Hold still bitch." My body stilled at the cold words. It wasn't Bellamy.

The realization that Bellamy wasn't the one currently trying to strangle me to death seemed to give me strength and I reared back against my attacker in desperation. The back of my head made contact with bone and I forced myself to ignore the sickly cracking sound as his nose was broken.

I felt myself being forcefully shoved to the ground as the dark attacker cursed under his breath, "I didn't plan this. It's the only way I can be free when the Arc comes back. He told me it would all be taken care of when they get here."

The unbearable dizziness that suffocated my body held me down to the ground and despite my efforts to pull myself towards the tent opening, I was paralyzed. Beneath the shadows, I could see the determined face of my death looming over me. He was only slightly familiar, an ordinary face that had stayed hidden amidst the crowds of the camp. It was a grim reminder that everyone in the camp faced their own worries and dangers. I had very easily and willingly forgotten that I wasn't the only one with problems.

"I'm leaving soon, I promise. You can tell them you killed me. I won't come back. Just please let me…" I was cut off as he threw his heavy legs around my stomach and grabbed my neck.

"No can do, Alice. Truth is, I've been going crazy down here with all of Bellamy's stupid rules. When they come down it'll get even worse. How could I pass this up? He practically begged me to get rid of you." His hands wrapped easily around my throat and I felt as my windpipe began to crush beneath his grip.

My nails dug deep into skin but there was no budging his vice grip, "He said you were a monster. That I would be doing everyone a favor. Ridding the world of evil." At the last remark, I heard and felt a deranged chuckle emerge from him.

My ears popped and I couldn't hear anything but the haunting echoes of his words. Monster. Evil. They were not new to me. But they still hurt worse than an arrow to the stomach and choked more forcefully than the hands stealing my breath. I didn't try to fight the cold bliss that beckoned me away from the pain and into oblivion.

Just as the darkness had completely stolen my vision, my body was violently thrown to the side and the weight was lifted from my chest. I felt blood rushing through my head and an intense pressure pulsing against my skull. It took me a moment to realise that the awful wheezing sounds were mine and with great effort, I was able to force the spots from my eyes and find my surroundings.

Two large figures rolled violently together on the ground to my right and though I couldn't move my body, I forced my screaming neck to turn towards the shadows locked in toil. I recognized Bellamy immediately and was amazed to find my attacker beneath him, taking the brunt of some of the most savage and brutal blows I had ever witnessed. He was saving me. Again.

"Did Shumway send you?" Bellamy halted his beating only long enough to ask a question.

"You weren't supposed to come back. He said no one would ever know." The boy gurgled through his own blood but his deranged smile only grew, "Why are you protecting her Bellamy? She's nothing."

The boy looked to my helpless body struggling to return oxygen to its brain, followed by Bellamy who still held him down by his chest. Bellamy's dark hair cast a shadow over his face and all I could see was fury in those black eyes. I wasn't completely certain who it was directed towards.

The moment I opened my mouth to call to Bellamy, air rushed through my bruised airways and sent coughs racking through my body. A flash of silver caught my eyes and what little breath I had left was sucked out of my lungs. The boy had gripped a sharp knife from his pants and raised it high above an oblivious Bellamy. With a small push against the force I wasn't sure I had complete control over, Bellamy was flung off of the attacker and up against a makeshift table on the other side of the tent.

Sparks clouded my vision just as I heard an awful snapping sound followed by silence. An annoyingly familiar ache settled in the back of my head and I could finally let myself rest, if not for a moment.

A small rustle sounded and Bellamy's worried face appeared in my fading vision. I could see his mouth moving but the words didn't quite seem to reach my ears. I closed my eyes for what only felt like seconds and came back with a most confusing feeling. For a moment, I was unsure of where exactly I was. Though I expected to feel the hard ground beneath me, my hands gripped something soft and warm.

"It's alright. I'm here." My body vibrated with the thick voice that rumbled beneath me.

Not quite able to comprehend much beyond the pain in my head and neck, my hands grasped at the tender skin along my throat and I was surprised to find that the horrid croaking sound piercing my ears was coming from my own mouth. Strong arms wrapped around my body and pulled my shaking hands down against my stomach.

"Alice. It's Bellamy. I'm here." His strong voice shook against my own twitching body.

"He tried to kill me." My own voice sounded broken and scratched.

"He's gone now. I won't let anyone hurt you Alice." The moment I heard Bellamy say my name, I knew he meant it. I believed in him just as everyone else had.

"I can't stay. I heard you talking to the guard. I won't risk Octavia's life." I forced my eyes shut as if my problems would disappear if I couldn't see them.

"What? You mean Shumway? He's done for. Clarke helped me speak to the Chancellor and they know he's a traitor now. I've been pardoned. He has no control of us anymore." Though I couldn't put all of the pieces together just yet, it seemed that Bellamy was trying to tell me I was safe.

Despite the panic seeping its way through my thoughts, the combined warmth of Bellamy's body and words was sending a calm serenity through every muscle and nerve in my body. The past few days had been so nerve wracking that I couldn't even bring myself to care that I was currently in Bellamy's arms.

I did have enough dignity, however, to finally reopen my eyes and look upon the mess I was in. A heap of supplies and boxes lay scattered in the far corner of the tent where Bellamy had been flung. The night stars outside of the tent lit the dark just enough to see the destruction that had been caused.

I looked down to see my fingers tangled in Bellamy's own scraped and bloody, resting across my stomach. Somehow I had ended up leaning against Bellamy who sat upright against my bed, nestled between one raised leg and another outstretched. Bellamy's tall figure and wide chest provided more than enough room for my head to rest perfectly into the curve of his muscles.

"You were supposed to get rid of me. You could have killed me. Why?" My heart pounded against my chest, but I made no move to leave the strange comfort of Bellamy's arms.

"I was never going to hurt you. I figured if I could get enough supplies at the depot we could leave together. Octavia, you, and me. I had no idea Shumway would send them to kill us so soon." I could feel Bellamy's head shake in frustration behind me then look up into the sky.

"Us?" Why would this Shumway character send someone to kill Bellamy as well?

"While we were looking for the depot, another one came for me. I was so messed up. If Clarke hadn't been there, he would have killed me." If I hadn't been so close to him, I wouldn't have felt his body shudder in remembrance.

"You ate the nuts? So... You don't remember... You were seeing things too. You couldn't control yourself." I looked down to our hands in embarrassment. From everything he had revealed to me, all I could think about was our moment in the tent just hours ago. His own fingers were covered with healing scabs from beating Murphy just beneath a coat of blood and dirt from fighting Shumway's assassins.

"You mean the kiss?" Not one to beat around the bush. I couldn't exactly avoid the question, I had brought it up after all, but I didn't know if I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I didn't... I mean... I understand that you weren't yourself." My awkward rambling was cut off short as Bellamy untangled one of his hands from mine and gently grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up. The nerves in my neck screamed in protest of movement, but I was quickly distracted by Bellamy's face so close to mine.

"I didn't do anything that I didn't want to." I felt my stomach tighten in a completely different sensation. Had Bellamy just admitted that he kissed me of his own free will?

"But you can't. It's too dangerous. I'm too dangerous." Harder than I thought possible, I had to force myself to turn away from Bellamy's serious face. All of these people who opened themselves up to me were opening themselves up to pain. Their trust was so enticing that I couldn't help but let myself forget the danger. Not anymore.

"He was right. I am a monster. They turned me into a monster. Shumway isn't even the beginning. There are others on the Arc. I can't put anymore of you at risk." I could only guess that Shumway was an agent of the doctors who imprisoned me.

"What did they do to you?" I could hear the apprehension in his voice. Raw fear that I imagined I would never witness through the always confident Bellamy Blake.

"They changed me. Gave me... Powers." It felt ridiculous to say aloud.

"You saved me that day with the bear. You pushed me away from the knife tonight too. Didn't you?" Bellamy was quick to put pieces together and excellent at giving nothing away.

"Yes." There was no going back now.

"Thank you." I was utterly shocked at how easily Bellamy could accept my history. I had talked with both Octavia and Clarke about my time on the Arc and they had been just as accepting, but they were nothing like Bellamy. He was a mystery that I just couldn't seem to figure out. While he made some questionable choices at times, I could see that there was so much more to him than what he let on. His entire life had been filled with hard decisions that affected more than just himself. I knew from Octavia's memories that he wasn't always so hard and distant. He had been made that way with everything that he had to go through on the Arc. But now, for some reason, he was letting me in.

He was thanking me even though he was the one who had just saved me. He spoke without the harsh and commanding tone that I was used to. Bellamy was holding me like I might break at any minute. He had no idea what he was doing to me.

"Don't you see Alice? You're not a danger to us. You saved Octavia from the sea serpent, you were there for Charlotte, and you stopped me from killing Murphy. You saved me. _You're saving us all._"

I couldn't believe what he was saying. When I looked back on my time on Earth, all I saw was destruction and heartache. Bellamy had somehow seen something completely different.

"Aren't you afraid?" I couldn't bring myself to outright ask if he was afraid of me.

"I'm always afraid, Alice."


	22. Episode 8 Part 1

_"Do you know how we came to be Alice?" Laura sat in her chair at the foot of my bed with her legs crossed and her hands sitting perfectly still in her lap._

_"What do you mean?" I sat with my butt and outstretched legs resting straight up against the wall. I had made a game of trying as many different positions in the room as I could and following through with those that annoyed Laura and him the most. Currently, this one was the winner. What's even more pitiful than what I had to resort to for entertainment was that I didn't even realize how pitiful it was._

_"Humans of course. Where did we come from? Before the Arc." Laura was being exceptionally patient with me for the time being._

_I had to stop and think for an answer. It took several seconds before I found that I didn't have one. After my failed attempt at basic science and math Laura had mostly given up on anything not regarding children's books and literature. What little I could gather from my readings was mostly fictional and though I knew enough to know it wasn't necessarily practical or true, I had come to the conclusion that I liked the fictional stuff better._

_Laura took my silence as an answer and continued, "We were not always the way we are now. Before space and even before we commanded the Earth we began as something so small and minuscule you couldn't even see it with your bare eyes. But with the energy that flows through you so strongly, a whole new beginning was sprung to life and through millions of years, that energy evolved and transformed, improving with every second to survive and prosper. Out of all creation, humans were the ones to thrive and become something more than anyone could have imagined. Now, we have what made all of this possible. It's what's inside of you Alice. What flows through your veins is the resolution to our past and the key to our future."_

"Dax and Cross disobeyed my orders and they're gone now. Anyone else who thinks they can go around attacking people in this camp will be left to the Grounders just like they were. Understood?" Bellamy conveniently decided to give his warning speech while holding a rather large gun and it seemed to be working. Behind Bellamy stood a handful of his more trusted and bulky militia, all toting their own guns and staring out into the large gathering of listeners. While it seemed imposing, Bellamy had the trust of the camp and no one was looking to cause a scene. Any of those who weren't convinced by Bellamy's threats were fully persuaded by Clarke's show of support in his speech. She stood to the edge of Bellamy and his men without a gun, yet somehow just as distinct and compelling as the others.

I stood in the outskirts of the gathering with as much stealth as I could muster. Several curious glares were thrown my way but no one dared to speak while Bellamy had the floor. I knew they were looking at the dark marks wrapped across my throat and I couldn't stop myself from gathering the thick material of my cardigan up and over my neck. They could look and whisper all they needed to, but as long as they didn't know the truth behind the attacks on Bellamy and myself I was content.

"Now that that's established... We start training." Clarke stepped forward and began to give another stern speech on the importance of handling the guns with caution and I slipped away.

I'm sure my appearance proved to be a bit curious for those who were attentive enough to guess what had happened the night before while they slept none the wiser. Bellamy had admitted that Dax attacked him and Clarke while on their supply run and he left him beaten and alone in the forest. However, he only mentioned that Cross had attacked someone else in the camp as well, leaving out my name. It was strange to hear the name of the boy who tried to kill me. Bellamy had revealed Cross' name while relaying what had happened to Clarke and I confirmed that I had never even spoken to him myself. I didn't know anything about him and even though I was more confident he was no longer a threat, I couldn't help but wonder what happened to him and Dax to bring them to such a desperate point. I also couldn't stop myself from worrying about the worse fate they and Murphy might suffer in the forest.

After Bellamy looked over my injuries himself, he decided that I needed the attention of Clarke despite my incessant protests. I had been forced to undergo another thorough examination by Clarke and been affirmed that I was just as fine, physically, as I had insisted. As strange as it sounds, I found myself embarrassed that I was once again the victim. It was hard to meet the hovering eyes of Bellamy when all I could think about was how close we had been just moments before. When he had finally left to fetch Clarke, the loss of his warmth was unmistakable. I didn't know what was happening with Bellamy and I and it was almost as terrifying as the power that I possessed.

With Clarke in the tent, Bellamy seemed to withdraw himself and it wasn't long before he returned to his own tent and left Clarke to her fussing over me. It didn't help that Bellamy had let slip his previous orders to kill me in front of Clarke who clearly showed her disapproval through murderous glances and begrudging grunts. What little comradery I thought they might have gained in their little trip together seemed to be lost. Clarke insisted on staying with me in the tent for the rest of the night, which wasn't very long by the time all had been settled and done.

I estimated that I had closed my eyes for only twelve minutes before Bellamy's booming voice had gathered a crowd in the morning light. While there were more than enough guns for everybody, I had made it clear to Clarke that I would not be participating in the training before she took her spot beside Bellamy. I had no right to argue against the guns, but that didn't mean that I approved. I understood that not everyone could take an arrow to the stomach and survive like me. They needed protection and it was the best they could find. At least that's what they said.

I had quickly caught on to the anxiety over the escaped Grounder and his army that most were sure he would bring back in retaliation. Though I was fairly certain that Lincoln was no longer associated with the rest of the Grounders, I could not voice my theory in fear of giving Octavia or myself away. Everyone else however, was anxious to begin their training and protect themselves against a looming threat. Thankfully, I hadn't been put in the position to lie to Clarke or the others just yet.

"Hey bear-slayer, feel like helping me out with something?" I was surprised to see Monty emerging from underneath one of the makeshift tents with a small bag hanging on his shoulder.

"Are you... Talking to me?" I looked around dumbly and realized that no one else was around.

"Yeah. You're the only one here who took down a bear." I hadn't actually spoken to Monty apart from the occasional crisis and I was confused to say the least.

"I didn't kill the b.." My reaction to the camps exaggerations was almost automatic at that point.

Monty held his hand up in exasperation and looked towards the gathering resentfully, "Yeah, whatever. So everyone is hyped up on these guns and I'm not buying it. Instead, I'm going to go get something that we actually need. Want to come? If you're up to it that is. I know you're kind of busted what with the arrow and... that." He pointed to my neck which was poorly covered by the green fabric. The funny thing was, coming from anyone else, the blunt words might have been insulting, but I found myself smiling at Monty's insensitive invitation. "With the Grounder situation I figured it's better to go in pairs and you seem to be the only other person in this camp who won't train."

At the last part, Monty's gaze drifted to Jasper who stood in the front of the crowd, listening intently to Bellamy's instruction. It was obvious that the beginnings of a drift was forming between the two friends. With good reason, I could understand how a matter as serious as guns and violence could create a rift in a relationship. Jasper was eager to prove himself for whatever reason, but Monty seemed to be content with his old ways. I just wished it wasn't such a dangerous matter as fighting for survival that caused the controversy.

"I'll go. We should head around the tents though. Clarke would lock me up if she knew I was trying to leave the camp."

"Let's go then." Monty smiled and we ducked through one of the material canopies and out through a side entrance of the wall.


	23. Episode 8 Part 2

_"Laura, who is Mother Mary?" I felt as the dried blood on my lips cracked open with movement. Some days were worse than others._

_"From the song you mean?" Laura didn't bother to turn from the machines as she hastily wrote down their results. _

_"She seems wonderful." I licked the coppery red liquid from my lips and wiggled. The sheets covering my body were more for comfort than practicality. On days when every bone in my body ached beyond words, the best I could do was stay conscious. It wasn't hard to let Laura hear the pain in my voice and she reluctantly turned to face me. _

_We hadn't really spoken of that day or the beautiful song called Let it Be. I assumed Laura was too worried that it would trigger more seizures. She must have thought I was too weak to seize because she sat on the edge of the bed and put her notes down._

_"She was the mother of a miracle child who some people back on Earth believed would save the world. She became a symbol for hope and charity. All too romanticized if you ask me." Laura didn't seem impressed with the woman, but I couldn't help but wish for my own Mother Mary. Someone to give me answers and take me from the darkness._

_I knew enough about mother's from my readings to know that they were supposed to love and care for their children. A mother was supposed to hold her child at night and protect them when they were scared. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, Laura was no mother to me. My biological mother was a mystery and I was terrified to find out the real reason she wasn't with me. We had been separated somehow and whether she had given me up or been taken away from me, she wasn't there. My Mother Mary had left me._

"What I can't figure out is why you would set free the guy who almost let you die and probably helped string Jasper up." After only several seconds of silence, Monty asked the question that made me stumble over nothing in particular and turned my face bright red. So much for that secret.

From the short time I had known Monty, I had seen enough to know that he was one of the more sane ones of the group. The fact that he hadn't told anyone of his suspicion was reason enough for me to trust him. Jasper was his best friend and if he thought Lincoln really had anything to do with hurting him I doubt he would have been so quiet. I wondered if he also feared what the 100 could be capable of if tempted.

"He saved me and Octavia in the end. I don't think he is one of them." There was no point in denying it. I was an awful liar and Monty picked up on more than most.

"If you say so. I just hope for all our sakes that you're right." Monty set a steady pace as we wove in and out of the tall trees of the forest.

"I am." I think I sounded convincing enough.

Monty looked to me with a half-hearted sigh and pushed forward. This was going well so far.

"Remind me what we're looking for again?" I grabbed for a small bud of a flower growing from a tree and twirled it in my hand. The forest was calm and despite the thoughts rushing through my head, I could feel the trance of the quite affecting my mood.

The serene moment was gone quicker than it began as the bud opened its petals and bloomed into a flower right before my eyes. I was relieved to find that Monty still walked a few steps ahead of me, none the wiser. With a roll of my eyes, I threw the strange green flower to the ground and continued on.

"You'll see when we get there." Monty was beginning to remind me of a devious cat I once read of. His secretive smile in particular was very mischievous.

Monty had mentioned that whatever we were doing would help the camp. I had only really been thinking about getting away from Bellamy and the guns when I agreed to leave, but now that I was free from the stress of the crowd, I wondered what Monty's true intentions were. If there really was something that could help us, I was more than willing to tag along.

My questions were soon answered however, as we neared the end of the trees and into a rather large field. I had only seen the clear blue sky of the Earth a handful of times and it didn't fail to take my breath away once again as a small breeze ran through the tall grass in the field.

"What is this?" Recent memories of the fields of InBetween brought back feelings that I wasn't just yet ready to confront.

"Sugar cane. Crush the cane and you've got the first ingredient for a great batch of moonshine." Monty's smile grew tenfold and I was speechless.

"You're big helpful thing is alcohol? We came all this way for alcohol?" Monty wasn't fazed one bit.

"Of course, what else would it be?" I couldn't tell if he was serious or not but was forced to follow him into the ten foot tall stalks as he walked on without a worry in the world.

"The camp finds a bunch of guns and you decide the best thing we need is alcohol? Do you see where I'm going with this?" Anxiety over Monty's plan and visions of InBetween were screaming for my body to turn around and slow down, but I stuck close behind him like the rational person I am.

I was so focused on not losing Monty in the maze of cane that I nearly couldn't stop myself from running into his tall frame as he abruptly came to a stop and turned to face me.

"They need something to take their minds off of all this," At that Monty gestured to everything around us, "You've been out slaying bears and dealing with the Grounders, but I've seen how all this has been affecting everyone else back at the camp. If the Grounders don't take us down first, we'll do it ourselves. The Arc is coming down now too. This could be the last chance in a while that we don't have to worry about anything." I had never seen Monty so passionate about anything. He had a twisted point.

"What do you see? In the camp?" It was finally time for me to step up. Bellamy seemed to be convinced that I could help the others and even though I still believed I would eventually have to leave them all behind, I decided it was time to start acting like I cared. Which I did.

"Some of them are doing better than others. But most of them are terrified. Everyone seems to think they have something to prove. One of these days someone is going to go too far. They all just need to chill out. That's what this is for." Monty grabbed a handful of sugar cane in his hand and inspected it.

"Just get what you need and let's get out of here." I couldn't believe my first step in becoming a better person was supplying alcohol to minors. I wouldn't partake in the drinking obviously, but I could help Monty make the moonshine and watch over everyone else as they drowned all their sorrows away.

Monty began to pack his bag full of sugar cane and I followed close behind as he meticulously chose only the darkest stocks. I had to give it to him, he knew what he was doing and he had come prepared with gloves and a hatchet. I had quickly learned that the sharp leaves could do significant damage as the new holes in my cardigan now proved.

Watching Monty work was turning out to be a welcome distraction from the unease that the field was causing. As small and ridiculous as our mission might have seemed, I felt like I had a purpose. In fact, I was so engrossed in his work that I almost didn't notice the flash of white wind it's way past the corner of my vision.

Maybe it was the thoughts of something better for a change, but I was fed up with my past haunting me. I didn't doubt that it was the mysterious man in white and I didn't doubt that it was all in my head. It was time to put an end to it once and for all.

I only gave Monty a quick promise I'd be back before I made my way towards the white figure. I don't know what I planned to do to a hallucination once I found it, but I'll be damned if I wasn't going to try something.

I ignored the sharp pricks of blood rising from my skin as I forced my way through the wild stocks. Every time I thought I might catch him the white hoodie disappeared behind the cover of the sugar canes. I soon found that my determination was slipping away to desperation. My heart was fluttering like it did sometimes in the InBetween and I felt the odd sensation of my own mind fighting itself for control.

"Peter!" The name came out unexpectedly and almost in pleading.

The figure stopped just before the border of the forest and the field and I gasped. We stood only several feet apart with his back to me. I don't know how I knew his name, but it felt terrifyingly good to say it.

"You're not real. She's dead, I saw it happen." I could see his head shake as he spoke. My vision pulsed in and out with the frenzied beat of my heart.

"What do you mean I'm not real? You're the one in my head! Who are you?" I ignored the sharp pain as I used one of the larger canes to hold myself up. Clearly I wasn't fully healed just yet.

His entire body stiffened, but I kept going, "I must be going insane..."

I had to stop as the man I somehow knew to call Peter started to turn towards me. The pull of those green eyes made my brain feel like it was about to explode. The sunshine that made it through the tops of the sugar canes lit his face just enough for me to see a strong jaw and sharp nose beneath distressed eyes. This man was no man. He was around Bellamy's age and he stood about as tall as Jasper, but his lean body was firm with muscles underneath his white hoodie and scrub pants. I offhandedly noticed his bare feet.

"Alice?" Whatever connection I felt to this Peter boy was tearing my head to pieces. It felt as if my sheer will alone was holding him down to me. I supported myself by resting my hands on my knees.

"Listen to me Alice, the forest, it's…" His words were cut short as he tried to walk towards me and his right arm was pulled back by an invisible force. He looked down and grabbed at something on his forearm that wasn't there. His legs tried to pull him forward but his other arm was thrown to his side as well. If it wasn't completely insane, I could swear it looked like he was being strapped down to a bed. In the air. Despite the vein bulging in his neck from exertion, his legs were soon to follow and he was completely immobilized.

"This can't be real." I shook my head as if that would make the madness go away. And amazingly enough, it did. I looked up and there was no one. Silence replaced his grunts and I was alone.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and pulled the wet hair from my face. Once again, I had been an idiot. I had taken so many turns to follow the boy that there was no way I could get back to Monty. I would have to return to the forest and hope I could find my way back. With one last look for the boy named Peter, I left the field and walked beneath the cover of the forest once again.

I hadn't gone far before I had to take a break to compose myself. I propped my hand on the tree and leaned against the bark. The mere thought of my hallucination frustrated me beyond words. For a moment, I could feel the effects of true anger. I had been played with all my life, and now even my mind had betrayed me.

I clutched my hands into fists and was surprised to find that my fingers were wet against the tree. I pulled away and was confused to find blood. I had a few small cuts from the sugar cane, but nothing that could produce the amount on my hands. I looked up to the tree to find a smeared red handprint raking across the bark.

I set my jaw and looked to the ground. If I looked hard enough, I could see small drops of blood leading further into the trees. I wish I could say that I knew what I might find at the end of the trail, but as I followed the blood without a second thought, I felt reckless enough to face whatever waited for me.

I did have a rising suspicion however, that I knew exactly what I was walking towards. I didn't even hesitate when I came upon a dark hole hidden behind a small mound in the ground. It took the sight of Lincoln, painfully spread out on the ground to bring me back.

I rushed to his side and pulled him over and onto his back. His eyes fluttered open at my calling his name. He still wore the clothes Octavia had stolen for him which led me to believe that he had been lying there for the entire night and into the morning at the very least.

His pupil's dilated then returned to normal as he took in his surroundings. It was strange to be on the other side of the pain. He seemed to completely regain consciousness as he quickly raised from beneath my shaking hands and pulled himself away. With a grunt, he pushed himself up to a sitting position with his good hand.

"Are you okay?" I awkwardly stayed kneeling where I had reached for the Grounder.

With a reluctant look around the room, he nodded to the scattered bag of vials beside me. I took the hint and slid the whole thing towards him. Somehow I didn't get the feeling he wanted me coming too close.

"How did you find me?" He pulled a violet tinted glass out and proceeded to pour all of the liquid out onto his hand, washing the blood away to reveal a ghastly sight of mauled flesh and if I wasn't mistaken, bone. I looked to my own hand and felt the small bump that matched exactly where Bellamy had impaled Lincoln.

"Your blood. I followed it." If Lincoln noticed my little distraction, he said nothing. I had to give it to him, he was incredibly strong to have been tortured just days before.

He seemed upset at my admission and with good reason. If someone as unskilled as I was could track him, the Grounders and even those at the camp could find him.

"I'll have to fix that." I was amazed as he tried to get up and almost succeeded before I rose myself and stopped him in his tracks.

"I'll do it. You stay hidden and heal." He looked at me almost disbelievingly.

"Why are you still helping me Seraphin?" His tone was half cautious, half amazed.

I recognized the word he called me from back on the drop ship. I could only guess that it was some kind of Grounder speak, "Why wouldn't I help you? You don't deserve to die. No one does."

"Octavia said you were different. She was right in more ways than one." Lincoln finally seemed to show a sign of trust as he lifted his shirt and rubbed a different liquid across the brutal marks and bruises of his stomach, effectively letting his guard down.

"Now it's your turn. Why did you save me?" I slowly lowered myself back down and crossed my legs with my hands gripping my ankles to keep me still.

"I told you already. You are Seraphin." I was beginning to grow tired of his crypticness, but I held my ground.

"What does that mean?"

"The Seraphin fall from the sky, bringing powers of destruction and unimaginable carnage. That's what the Elders say at least." Lincoln made a point not to meet my eyes.

"I would never hurt anyone on purpose." I didn't have much to say to his accusations. It was nothing I hadn't feared myself.

"They don't care what you mean to do or not. We were sent to watch all of you. It wasn't hard to spot you in particular. The sea serpent. The bear. You tend to draw a lot of attention to yourself."

"You were ordered to kill me though." I wasn't sure if it was a question or an accusation.

"A moment of hesitation." Taken out of context it may have seemed harsh, but the way Lincoln finally looked to me in uncertainty, I had a feeling that he appreciated me more than he let on. After all, he had foregone his entire tribe for me.

His gaze flickered to my neck and then back to my eyes, "Looks like I wasn't the only one." I couldn't be certain how many conclusions he was coming to in his silence. I would have to assume that he knew it couldn't have been one of his fellow Grounders. If they had gotten that close, I wouldn't be speaking to him, let alone breathing. For the first time, he regarded me respect. His piercing glare made me uncomfortable, however, and I had to look away.

I truly looked around the room for the first time to fill the uncomfortable silence as Lincoln continued to tend to his wounds. It was similar to the hole in the ground that he had once held Octavia and myself, but considerably nicer. There were no chains or torture devices that I could see and several books lined the walls. This was a completely different side to the savage Grounder.

As if reading my thoughts of the smaller Bellamy sibling, Lincoln spoke up, "Octavia… How is she?"

"She's fine." Even if Lincoln didn't take to me, his devotion to Octavia was enough to fall in my favor. "I should get back to them. She'll be worrying and I left someone behind."

I rose once again, reminded that I had left Monty alone, but Lincoln followed close behind, raising a good two feet above me, "Will you tell her…"

The Grounder seemed stumped for the first time. His malice disappeared and his face almost seemed to light up as he spoke of her.

"I'll bring her." I had a feeling that she would go looking for him if I helped or not.

"Thank you." Lincoln's gratitude was sincere and though I had a million more questions, the thought of Monty out in the fields alone was pulling me back to reality.

I turned to leave the Grounder, but he had one more thing to say, "The prophecies tell of the Seraphin's fall from the Heavens to Hell. They will come after you again. You may still yet have farther to fall."


	24. Episode 8 Part 3

Farther to fall, huh? I could honestly say that the hole in my stomach and the crazy hallucinations could beg to differ. I didn't want to forsake myself, but I honestly couldn't imagine how much worse it could get short of the end of the world. Which, on second thought, could very well be a possibility.

Hoping that Monty had enough sense to return to the camp without me, I made haste in covering the trail of blood Lincoln had left behind. I was pleasantly surprised to find my resourcefulness come in handy as I scattered the bloody dirt and footprints. It took a little longer to remove the blood from the bark, but in time I had followed the markers long and far enough to recognize some of the woods surrounding the camp. Ironically, Lincoln's mess had helped me to find my way back, but I made sure to leave a few pointers of my own for when I would eventually have to find my way back with Octavia.

As I drew near, I was gladly surprised to come upon Monty walking with his head down towards the outskirts of the camp. His bag was now full of short pieces of sugar cane. I wiped the blood and dirt from my hands and hurried to catch up.

"Monty! You made it. Good." I made sure to keep my voice low so as not to startle him and let myself make noise I didn't know I was holding in. In the quiet of the forest, it was almost natural for me to step lightly and creep through the leaves without a sound. I noticed that those in the camp liked to make a lot of noise, as if it scared away what lay beyond the trees. They found comfort in the noises of their fellow people, giving them reassurance that they weren't alone. I guess being alone my whole life had spared me from that need.

Despite my efforts, Monty gave a slight jump and turned to me with wide eyes, "Yeah, I made it. What happened to you? I waited for like, an hour." His straight dark hair was slightly unkempt and I noticed a small layer of perspiration across his forehead. I honestly couldn't tell if he had been worried about me or hadn't even given it a second thought. That was the mystery of someone like Monty.

I doubted it had really been that long, but produced the excuse I had fabricated on the way back, "Sorry. I got lost in the stocks. I didn't want to call out to you in case Grounders were near." Sort of true.

"You would get lost in your own head if someone left you alone for too long." He meant it as a joke, but it was terrifyingly true.

"Did you get what you needed?" I jumped to fill the silence, slightly out of breath from all of the walking. And lying. And hallucinations.

"For now." In spite of my abandoning him, Monty seemed particularly happy and content with his work.

"What else do we need to do?" I smiled encouragingly as we slipped back under the same canopies we had escaped through, but Monty only looked at me speculatively.

"Why don't you just take a break. It will be a while before I can figure out what to do next." If I wasn't mistaken, it was his not so subtle way of dismissing me.

"Oh, ok. Well let me know if you need anything." Monty nodded with a peculiar look on his face before walking away.

I was rather slow at understanding his questioning looks. I hadn't really noticed it at first either. At some point just recently, I had found the energy I was lacking for what seemed like much too long. There was still a part of me that dragged behind with the weight of my memories, that part would always be there. But something else had begun to take root in my subconscious that gave me a new strength. I had covered Lincoln's tracks with such precision and clarity and when I looked at the other campers milling around, I saw differently than before. For once I wasn't thinking about what I wished for my life, but what I could do with it right then.

I could promise myself new beginnings all I wanted, but it meant nothing if I didn't ever do anything about it. I was ready now. Monty had noticed the change with only a few words, but he had no idea what could have possibly triggered it. Honestly, I didn't either. I kept thinking back to the fresh breeze in the sugar canes and green eyes that couldn't quite say what they wanted.

"Where have you been? I was looking for you. I need to look at your bandages." It was as if Clarke had a sixth Alice-seeking sense. She stood with her arms crossed and despite a few scrapes and bruises here and there from the altercation with Dax, was fairly clean and orderly. Her golden hair was beautiful in the little light that shone through the trees and I found my own eyes drawn to her bright blue ones.

"Shouldn't you be helping Bellamy with the guns?" It seemed my newfound energy came with mouth on it.

"I needed a break." Clarke chose to ignore my subtle accusations and I was quick to let it go after noticing the carefully hidden hints of exhaustion cross her face.

"Where is Bellamy?" I couldn't help but look around with anxious eyes. No amount of energy could help me with that dilemma.

"He's out with the others. Hunting." I assumed Clarke's' hesitation meant they were toting guns. "Did something happen between you two last night? Before I got to the tent?"

"No. Of course not." It was obviously a lie but Clarke was graceful enough not to push, "Clarke, if you need to talk.." I left my words hanging uselessly in the air. My question wasn't just a diversion, I was actually starting to worry about her, unfortunately feelings and talking about them definitely wasn't my strong suit. I wouldn't have seen the subtle hints back on the Arc, but the more I was able to interact with other people, the better I was at noticing just what they were trying to hide.

Clarke turned from the forest and I followed her closely as she made her way to what had been my temporary medical tent, hoping her silence was an invitation and not a rejection. I didn't like the reserved look on her face. It was like she was finally accepting that we were more than likely all doomed to horrible fates. It was clear that Wells' death still hadn't left her and her relationship with Finn was quickly deteriorating. Perhaps she had always been that way though, and I hadn't noticed it.

Once we were in the shelter of the tent, Clarke sat and waited for me to follow. I edged close to her, hoping that my nearness gave some sort of comfort that my words couldn't. I honestly had no idea what to expect, but nothing could have prepared me for what Clarke finally confessed, "Finn and I had sex. Before Raven got here of course."

I felt my mouth open and close like a fish out of water and I'm sure my eyes were as wide and lost as one might be. I knew Clarke and Finn cared for each other, but I had no idea that they had consummated their feelings, or how they even had time to with everything that was going on. I made sure not to make contact with her skin, in fear that speaking of the moment might bring forth the chance of seeing into her mind and glancing parts of Finn that I had never wanted nor wished to. Many of the campers continued to openly display some of their more intimate moments, but I didn't think I would ever be comfortable with the subject of sex and sexual relations. Yet another effect of my confinement.

Clarke took my stunned silence in strides and continued, "I've forsaken my mom. My best friend since before I can remember is dead. Grounders are killing us off and I've just armed a group of delinquents with deadly killing machines and all I can think about is Finn. And her."

I knew she meant Raven. I had noticed that lately if you saw Finn, Raven wasn't far behind. They were attached at the hip and Finn wasn't making much effort to fend off her attention. Raven hadn't just come down to establish contact with the 100, she had come for him and he couldn't just brush that kind of sacrifice aside so easily. But Finn apparently hadn't been thinking of any of that when he decided to bed Clarke. At least I hope he wasn't that devious. He must have believed he would never see her again. If not, it pained me to think that Finn could just use anyone like that, especially Clarke who I knew he had developed strong feelings for.

"There's nothing wrong with that, Clarke. You're stronger than any of us. It isn't wrong to want something. Believe me." I don't know exactly what I meant at that last part. It could have been my want for a normal and peaceful life. But I had a sinking suspicion that I was really referring to a certain dark eyed annoyance that had begun to invade my thoughts more than I was beginning to be comfortable with.

"I'm not strong. I'm just getting by. We all are. It seems so petty to be thinking of jealousy when I see your wounds or the grave outside the camp." Clarke insisted on arguing against herself but I kept on.

"It's not. We can't help how we feel. It's what we do with it that makes the difference." I had no idea where this wisdom was coming from, but I stopped myself before any of my own idiotic thoughts could overshadow the message.

"And what exactly are you going to do?" Some of the gloom had faded from Clarke's eyes and a new brightness began to replace it. She could now see the change that Monty had noticed as well.

"I'm not sure yet. I've just recently realized that the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe if I can help others while I can, I'll finally find the answers that I need." As I said it, I felt my own inspiration increasing ten fold.

"So. You're not leaving?" Clarke had taken my declarations much farther than my own intentions. I was reminded that the days were quickly passing and the Arc's descent was coming closer every day.

"For now." It still didn't feel completely comfortable to say, but I would stick with my reservations.

"That's good to hear. I don't think I could handle losing someone else right now." Clarke looked into my eyes, shamelessly trying to guilt my want to leave. I felt my heart warm that she cared that much.

"You should be more worried about the rest of the camp. Monty is brewing a special batch of idiot-inducer as we speak. I made the mistake of taking him for his word and let him convince me in aiding in his efforts to calm the people with alcohol." I spoke with a regal voice at the last part, trying to get a laugh out of Clarke and surprisingly, it worked.

"So that's where you were? I suppose anything is worth trying at this point." Clarke rubbed her forehead again in exhaustion and I was slightly surprised at her acceptance. She didn't seem like one to condone such juvenile behavior and I couldn't personally see anything particularly good coming out of it.

"You should take a break. I've been in this tent for too long, but you could use it. Take a nap or plot your revenge on Finn. Whatever will make you feel better. I'll stay closeby and I promise I will come get you if anything interesting happens." I provided enough reason before she could reject my offer, knowing she wouldn't want to rest so easily.

Clarke laughed halfheartedly and to my amazement, she didn't immediately refuse, but looked up through the mesh ceiling of the tent and sighed, "I think I'll do that."

Whether she meant napping or plotting revenge was never answered because I gave her a quick smile and zipped the flaps up from the outside before she could change her mind. I stayed just long enough to see her shadow lie down on the bed and turned to the rest of the camp, smiling.

"Time to make some freaking delinquents happy."

And so I did. I went through the camp, offering to help with anything I could. I listened as others talked of their troubles and was surprised to find that many of them were more than willing to share the stories of their lives back on the Arc with me. I discovered that in my neutral alliance with both Clarke and Bellamy, I had already gained a sort of recognition among the others. I hadn't managed to piss any of them off or offend anyone personally, which was apparently a rarity in the camp.

It continued to surprise me how easily I was able to work and speak with the others. I had to constantly assure them that I was just as capable as any other able bodied person, despite their protests at my injuries. At first, I was received with an annoying amount of pity-filled stares as their eyes caught the dark bruise wrapping around my neck, but one glare was all it took to put an end to that. As for the hole in my stomach, it had healed to an almost unnoticeable tug, only serving as a small reminder of my pain if I strained too hard.

However, the more work I did, the stronger I felt. I continued to bring water back to the camp, but I also helped to repair the fallen pieces of the wall and for a very interesting hour, I attempted to explain how to swim to a few curious listeners. They had offered a piece of their own past to me and accepted me into their ranks and I felt obliged to return something, yet I could never give them the story of my time on the Arc. So I offered what little skill I had and they most graciously did not pry any further. No one was willing to test my wisdom with the nearest swim-ready body of water being so far from the camp, which left me trying to illustrate the act with only words and no water.

I couldn't help but wonder what they thought about me. To them, I was either the bear-slayer or the girl who got shot by a Grounder and lived. With nothing much else to do in the camp besides manual labor, I could see that they thrived on gossip and I was apparently a very interesting mystery to be solved. While they all seemed to know each other from the Arc to some degree, they didn't know me at all. No one had come outright and asked, but I could feel the tension of their wonder every time I looked at them or caught them staring my way. They would just have to wonder.

The day came closer to it's end much faster than I expected. I had been so invested in helping the others that I hadn't even noticed Bellamy's return from the forest. Clarke had also finally emerged from the tent looking slightly less stressed out. I had made a point to keep tabs on Octavia and I had a rising suspicion that her quiet demeanor as she stayed mostly to the side all day was due to her scheming to find Lincoln. I would deal with that eventually. Monty and Jasper continued to keep their distance from each other with Jasper following Bellamy's militia around and Monty confined to his tent concocting his secret batch of moonshine. Finn and Raven had stayed in their tent most of the day as well, no doubt getting to know each other a little more closely. I was glad Clarke didn't have to see that.

As the moon found its way into the sky and the fire pits were lit, I was disappointed to find that my busy day's work was coming to an end. Many of the campers began to retire to their tents or gather around the fires and rest. The busy cluster of the day was replaced with an uneasy tension of what couldn't be seen beyond the shadows.

Bellamy had kept to his word to begin training and much of the day had been filled with distant shots heard throughout forest. He was faced with the dilemma of a supple but limited ammo supply and a need to acquaint his militia with the new weapons. In the end, he used hunting as an efficient training system which provided food for the camp and helped the fighters with their aim and control. After they returned the guns were confiscated and stored away with the exception of those scouting the walls on night patrol. Thankfully, no one had a problem giving up their new toys.

With nothing else to do, I joined Octavia in her lonely corner of the camp.

"You've been busy." Octavia smiled distractedly as she pulled on the sleeves of her shirt.

"I was tired of doing nothing. Besides, I could say the same thing for you. Planning on doing something stupid?"

Octavia looked around nervously then lowered her voice, "I'm sure he left me something to help find him. I have to know if he is ok."

I searched her eyes and found anxious worry, the same Lincoln had when he spoke of her. They had it bad. "I found him. Today in the forest."

"What? Why didn't you tell me? Was he alright? Where was he?" Octavia tried her best to keep her voice down as she blurted out question after question.

"He's… Alive. I promised to bring you to him but I knew we couldn't leave during the day. People would ask questions." I watched as Octavia's face played a symphony of emotions from surprise to anger to excitement.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. I've been plotting all day! Would it have been too much trouble to take five seconds and let me in on your little plan? It doesn't matter though, we should go now." She made to rise faster than I could process.

"Wait a minute, hold on." I tried not to laugh at her barely contained excitement and pulled her back down, "We should wait a little longer. Go to your tent as if you're done for the night. Pack whatever we might need and wait for me to come get you."

"I love you Alice." Octavia's smile widened to the edges of her cheeks and she pulled me in a surprisingly strong hug.

I could feel my body stiffen at the sudden contact but Octavia did not let go or give up her grip if she noticed. I knew she wasn't completely serious, but my throat constricted in a whole new way. No one had ever told me they loved me before. Sad right? I ground my teeth to hold back the emotions too strong for my lonely mind to handle and squeezed her back.

Octavia finally pulled away, but her joy was momentarily overshadowed by an emotion I couldn't quite make out, "Clarke told me about Cross. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch he's going to wish he had never been born. And Dax too. They're complete psychos."

I finally understood that Octavia had seen my neck and reacted with the same aversion as most everyone else. From the tone of her voice and lack of commentary, I knew that Clarke had failed to mention they had been sent to kill Bellamy and myself directly from the Arc. She thought they were simply crazy murderers and I was more than happy to keep it that way. If the threat on our lives really was gone for now as Bellamy had said, I didn't see the point in worrying her anymore.

I was also embarrassed.

Cross was unhinged, but he had been more than willing to kill me because he honestly believed I was a monster. He knew I was different and he had said as much. As idiotic and paranoid as it sounds, I was still afraid that Octavia and Clarke might yet come to see me as such.

"They're gone now. Don't worry about me. You have a Grounder to worry about." I used one of my many diversion tactics and was thankful that it worked with only a small glare of disinterest added to the end. Octavia took the hint and smiled once again before squeezing my hand and practically skipping away.

I didn't stop the smile from crossing my own face as I watched her retreat to her tent, but it was soon wiped away as my eyes found Bellamy's dark and scrutinizing glare from a few campfires away. I cleared my sore throat and looked up into the sky as I saw from the corner of my eyes his tall form stride through the few stragglers left in the night and stop right in front of me.

I didn't dare look down as I felt the warmth of his body settle too close next to me.

"How are you feeling?" I couldn't believe it, but I could have sworn he sounded nervous.

"Better." What else could I say?

"You helped a lot today. From what I heard." It wasn't a surprise that Bellamy also controlled the information that circulated through the camp. He had worked everyone there into a well polished instrument that he could play like a fiddle. It was as terrifying as it was impressive. It didn't sit well with me, however, that I was the day's topic of discussion.

I finally looked down to come face to face with Bellamy's too calm face. His hair had completely lost it's slick form from the first day and was now a curly mess. Just like Clarke, he still suffered from the injuries of Dax, but his were significantly more brutal. I offhandedly wondered what he had seen with the stupid nuts. Despite his claims to kissing me of his own volition, I had my doubts.

"And you too. From what I heard." I really tried to hide the small amount of resentment from my voice as I said it. I really did.

Bellamy knew my apprehension was directed towards the deadly new arsenal but it was obvious that his mind was made and the guns weren't up for discussion.

"You should come tomorrow. If you learned, you could protect yourself. So this would never happen again." As he spoke the last words his hand gingerly caressed the fading line across my neck. The shadows of the night were kind enough to hide my face. After a moment of silence, he pulled his hand away and set it much too close to my leg so his fingers were brushing my pants.

For the love of all that is holy. Help me.

"My place is better fit here in the camp. I should do what I can while I'm…" I stopped myself before I could say anything more. Bellamy was too smart for his own good though.

"You can't tell me you're still leaving? Even after all of this? It's too dangerous out there." I could tell he wasn't saying something because it lingered just in the back of his eyes, desperately wanting to be spoken.

Bellamy was pardoned and Octavia's life wasn't in danger anymore. I could see that he now intended to stay at least until the Arc came down to determine if dealing with the Council was worth the safety in numbers. I was beyond happy that the siblings would finally have the chance to be just that. They could stay and make a life for themselves. I was still destined for departure.

When the Arc comes down, so did him and Laura. I could never see them again and I could never chance them taking me, "I don't belong here. They won't just forget about me. And…" Just the thought of what might happen in the days to come sent my head spinning.

"I won't let them have you. As far as they know, you're dead. We'll figure something out." Bellamy was looking at the ground now, grasping for comfort that just wasn't there.

"You don't understand. When I was..." I couldn't bring myself to say dying, "...hit the other day. I caused that storm. I could have killed somebody. I can't control this… This thing inside me." My nose curled in disgust at the disgrace that I was and the failure that was my life.

"Listen to me Alice. You would never hurt someone on purpose. I'm telling you this now. You are not a monster. You are like no one I have ever seen before. You helped the man who almost let you die. You gave Murphy salvation even after what he did. And when you look at me I don't see anything but hope." I was shocked still at Bellamy's revelations. He knew I helped Lincoln escape and he had somehow seen my lament to Murphy the night of his banishment. The Bellamy that led the camp with a stern fist, usually right in the face, never would have ignored my transgressions with such docile consent. This was the real Bellamy, the one that had given Octavia piggy back rides for hours just to see her smile.

The memories which I had seen into a private part of his life back on the Arc produced a small blush of shame. In Atom's case, my intrusions were my only connection to his life and I couldn't bring myself to regret that bond. But with Bellamy and Octavia, I didn't like the fact that I had seen something so personal and guarded of their past. He was clearly giving me more than he had given most in that small moment of confession and I had no idea how to respond.

Thankfully, I didn't have to as Bellamy rose, taking all of his warmth with him, "Back on the Arc I had one purpose. I messed up and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I have something else to protect now and I won't let that happen again. I will do everything in my power not to give up. You should too."

He didn't wait for a response before walking away. I knew his purpose on the Arc had been keeping Octavia from the Council and now his job on the Earth was to protect her. Octavia was his reason for everything. I told myself that's what he meant because the alternative wasn't possible.


	25. Episode 9 Part 1

I returned to Octavia's tent after there was no one left outside but the silent night guards. While I had been waiting for everyone else to settle in for the evening, I had the sense to memorize the guard rotations and I knew just when and where we could escape without bringing any unwanted attention. Afterwards I would need to warn Bellamy of the little chink in his otherwise perfect chain of protection. As much as I liked the idea of keeping our excursions secret, I couldn't let the camp go with what could become a grave oversight.

My own internal worries nor the dark forest succeeded in phasing Octavia as she practically bounced up and down the whole way, jiggling the flashlight without a care. As I had hoped, my little green flowers had done their duty in lighting the path back to Lincoln. It was a long shot to to have trusted that the markers I had left would glow in the night, but I was grateful I had been right. They only stood out slightly from the other forestry as I had stuck them to the tree bark in as natural a way as I could manage. I didn't dwell on all the things that could have gone wrong with my flawed plan. Otherwise we never would have found the small hole in the ground.

It was awkward at first and I made a point to stay back and give the strange couple their space. If it had been anyone else I don't think I would have understood it, but Octavia was entirely capable of producing the confusing yet unwavering emotion towards this man she barely knew. She, like myself, had the privilege, or curse depending on your outlook, of experiencing everything with an urgency and threat of a broken past. Luckily, the two were so caught up in their own awkward and blundering reunion that my strange presence was mostly overlooked. To be honest, my mind was still back in the warmth of the campfires and Bellamy's quiet words.

Lincoln finally seemed to warm up to me, or tolerate me at the very least, and Octavia was eager to break the lingering aversions of our somewhat rocky past. You know, almost dying and all. I had taken a small and tattered chair in one of the darker corners and busied myself with sifting through the old books and trinkets of the cave while Octavia began to look over Lincoln's many injuries. Despite Octavia's efforts, it didn't look like Lincoln and I would be hugging and making friends anytime soon and I caught him glancing my way more often than I would have liked.

While I made a point to ignore the offhanded stares, I found a soft toy stuffed with what must have been cotton. With the long ears and fluffy tail, I could only guess that it was a rabbit. In the stories I read, rabbits were usually spastic creatures with an insatiable hunger for carrots. This creature was so fat and fluffy I doubted it had hopped a day in its life. It's silky fur was only slightly yellow with dirt and it was missing an eye, but I decided that I liked it that way.

"That's so weird. Alice has marks in almost the exact same places." Octavia was only thinking out loud as she held Lincoln's injured hand, but it was enough to bring his inquiring glare back to me. I looked down to my own hand where the slightly misshapen red mark was beginning to fade.

I could have lied, there was no way they would guess the whole truth. But for some reason, I revealed one of my darkest secrets to a girl that lived under the floor for most of her life and a man that had all intentions of killing me just days before, "Back in the ship I saw everything. I felt everything. Somehow I could see through your eyes but I also felt it." I held back a shudder as I remembered the feel of metal slicing through my hand and electricity frying every nerve in my body, "What they did to you. I would have stopped them if I could have. You have to believe me. If I could have taken all of it away I would have."

"That's just the thing. I think you did. I could have easily died that night. I've experienced my share of torture much worse than that, but I am only one man. I was able to stay conscious so long because I could feel something taking away the pain. I didn't understand it at the time, but it must have been you." The craziness of it all seemed lost on Lincoln. He spoke as if he believed it and even I had to admit that some kind of connection had been made that night.

"So we can add pain absorption and an all seeing eye to the list of awesomeness?" Octavia was completely oblivious to my own unease and continued, "Does it hurt now?"

I kept my eyes cast down towards the rabbit and nodded no. My stomach still suffered the occasional ache, but there was no way of knowing if it was from the arrow wound or Lincoln's beatings. Despite their quick acceptance of my confession, I couldn't quite bring myself to discuss this side of me so blatantly. The idea that I had invaded something so private in such a moment of crisis did not sit well with my conscious.

"Look you guys. We're all alive despite the circumstances and that's enough for me. Everything else... Well we can take it one step at a time. Together." Octavia responded to the rather glum atmosphere with determination and I was inspired to mirror her everlasting optimism.

"You're right. And I think we should start by getting a few answers. You know everything about us, but I don't know anything about you." I squeezed the soft fur for support and looked unwavering to Lincoln.

"Alice. Do you really think now is.." Octavia began with a sigh but Lincoln cut her off with a reach for her hand.

I was tired of all of the mysteries and it seemed like the perfect time to get some explanations while Lincoln couldn't run away and didn't seem to have the strength to argue. It was harsh but I had set my mind.

"Before I speak, I have to know that this stays between us. It wouldn't end well for any of us if your brother got a hold of this information." Lincoln couldn't hide the resentment in his voice at the mention of Bellamy but he looked to Octavia with complete trust.

"Of course." Octavia reassured him as I nodded in agreement. It went without saying that the very different worlds of our Grounder friend and the camp would not do well together.

"You call us all Grounders. Mine are the Tree People. There are many more where your attackers come from and even more beyond my own people. When the world burned many years ago we survived and we have only grown since then, but things are not like what they once were. Your arrival has caused an uproar."

Although the proof of others sat right before us, it was hard to imagine the many others which Lincoln claimed existed within and beyond the forest. How could such a feat go unnoticed by the Arc? However, it was painstakingly true that things must have changed after the nuclear wars. My own limited knowledge of the world prior to the disasters was enough to affirm the differences. Lincoln dressed in clothes of the earliest peoples and the Tree People did not seem to possess any kinds of advanced technology such as that on the Arc.

"I was sent along with several others to watch you and it wasn't long before word of the magical girl who could move things with her mind had spread."

At that, Octavia looked to me and Lincoln affirmed his claim, "Slaying beasts and bursting rocks into dust. Even the night light plants bent to your will. The prophecies couldn't be more clear. You are Serafen and we were ordered to kill you."

"But you didn't. You saved me." The awkwardness of the attempted assassination had finally begun to wear off and I didn't hesitate to encourage him further.

"I did what I was ordered and I watched you. I saw you save Octavia and her brother. I saw you give salvation to the banished boy and I knew you weren't forsaken. If I had acted sooner, none of this would have happened." At that he gestured to his own injuries.

"You did something and that's all that mattered." I made sure to hold his eyes in mine as I settled the matter for good.

"All three arrows were meant to pierce your heart. That poisoned arrow would have killed anyone else within minutes but you are Serafen. After I disobeyed orders I couldn't let the shooter return to the others. They couldn't know what happened. So I chased him down and killed him."

There was a silence where nothing suitable could be said. I couldn't exactly thank him for killing someone else. Lincoln seemed to have no qualms about it however. Where I did not see him as a cold hearted killer, I had to assume that his victim was someone he did not see as worth saving. That isn't to say that he deserved to die.

"When I returned you were gone. It didn't take long to find you drugged and incoherent in the forest, however. I took you to the hidden cave until I could find the antidote and that's when Octavia came and nearly got herself killed."

Octavia's face held a mixture of amusement and annoyance, as if she had already heard this part.

"I will admit that I could have handled that better. But I was slightly distracted with the army of trackers looking for Alice. It was easier to lock you up than try and explain. After all, would you have even listened to me?" As absurd as it sounded, I could completely understand his reasoning, "And once I had finally returned with the cure, well you know what happened then."

"Once Bellamy had him in the ship he knew that his only leverage was with the antidote. Because you weren't dead already, he had hoped that the poison wouldn't do much more damage. He was also stupid enough to believe that we could convince Bellamy to let him go. That's why he held out. But once he realized that you really might die he gave us the cure." Octavia chimed in to finish the explanation with a quick ramble and another question was answered.

"My intention was never to bring you such harm. I explained as much to Octavia when she visited me. But you never knew the whole story. You saved me anyway and for that I will be forever in your debt." Lincoln managed to look even more serious than usual and I gave an awkward nod in response.

"Great, now that that's settled. I think it's time that you got some rest. Alice brought some of Clarke's supplies but it's not nearly enough. We'll have to bring some more the next time we come." Octavia reached to pack away the assorted bandage wrappers but Lincoln grabbed her hand.

"Don't go now." And with the husky plead for company, I knew when it was time for me to leave the cave.

"Well I've got enough answers for now. I'm going to go make sure we weren't followed. And then I think I'll make a leaf fort or something." I rose and set the bunny down neatly on its shelf. Octavia only looked away long enough to give me a small smile. I had never seen the girl so quiet.

I slipped out of the cave with a shiver and smile. So I wasn't so clueless after all.

The dark of the night greeted me and I realized just how sleep deprived I was. It was a strange feeling after living a life of constant restlessness. My eyes were dry and heavy and my body felt light. I loved it.

I walked a few feet away from the entrance before I happened upon a rather deformed tree. The trunk and limbs grew in such a way that provided a perfect place to rest with large branches that sprouted several smaller branches sticking straight up. Through trial by error, I found the correct steps to take in order to climb several feet into the air where the small hammock of branches curved out from the tree. After several falls and a sore butt, I was entwined through the growth in such a way that I could not roll off. The branches facing upward served as bars to both hold onto and lock me into place.

As per usual, I had much to think about. We were outnumbered in a big way by the Grounders. The Arc was coming down soon and even I had the sense to know that the Council wouldn't mesh well with the Earth and all its archaic glory. I realized that I hadn't thought to ask if I was still being hunted on orders to kill but the more I thought about, the more I didn't really want to know the answer. The thought of running away didn't even have its normal appeal with the knowledge that Grounders more than likely waited wherever I went. And then there was Peter and the InBetween and all its frustrating mystery that never ceased to follow close behind my every thought. I was beginning to feel that the most important answers were going to be found in those crazy green eyes. But because I was only a teenager, and a dysfunctional one at that, my mind always ended in the same place. A kiss.

Despite Bellamy being oblivious to a significant part of my life, we had shared something that felt much more real to me than any past memories on the Arc or present worries in the forest. As much as I tried to ignore it, I couldn't suppress the need to confide everything with him. The only thing more frustrating was my delusional belief that he would actually have the answers to everything. And so it happened that in my twisted mind, the fantasy of the guardian with all of the answers manifested in Bellamy. There was a time that it had been Laura, but that had long passed. As much as I hated to admit my dependency on others, there was no denying my need for something more than I had ever had. Something that had always been missing.

So as I looked for the disappearing stars through the thick foliage of the tree, I could almost fool myself into believing the impossible. It didn't seem too completely unlikely that Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy and I could find refuge away from the dangers of Grounders and the Council alike. I would imagine that it wouldn't be long before Lincoln was accused of his betrayal and I was almost certain the Grounders wouldn't take him back. After he was healed he would be the perfect guide in finding somewhere safe for the four of us. But there were too many flaws in that plan to count. Most importantly, Bellamy had just recently nearly killed Lincoln. And then there was the daunting reality that Bellamy was now pardoned. He no longer needed to leave and it would be unfair to take Octavia away from her first chance at a normal life. And if that wasn't enough, my presence alone would be more dangerous than ever with the price on my head from both the ground and sky.

So once again, I was back to square one. Despite Bellamy's protests, I still couldn't see myself staying for more than a few more days. I would help Octavia with Lincoln until he was better and then I would leave. That's what I told myself.

Before I could become too lost in my own thoughts, the sound of Octavia emerging from the darkness brought me back. We would need to get back to the camp well before sunrise and it was good that she had been paying attention because I might have stayed high in my perch thinking for the rest of eternity. At the whispered calls of my name, I responded by dropping back down to the ground. Fortunately, I was skilled enough by that time to actually land on my feet.

Octavia quickly spotted my descent and joined me with a shy smile. Octavia was never shy. "Are you ready?"

"Am I ready? Are you sure you can even walk straight with that dazed look of yours?" I smiled and almost forgot the life and death dilemmas that had just plagued my mind.

"Shut up and get us back to camp." Octavia's smile only widened.

We reached camp quickly and in relative silence with no one the wiser. As I settled into one of the reclined ship seats and the sounds of morning began to permeate through the forest, I could finally close my eyes and sleep.

I use the word sleep rather lightly as the camp began to wake not long after. I refused to open my eyes however, as people shuffled past me and began to start their day. With my legs curled in and my shoulder resting sideways against the back of the seat, I traveled between sleep and awake. It was only when the morning fires were lit that I was forced to accept that sleep was no longer a real possibility.

I was horrified to find that the smells invading my nose were sending a rumble through my stomach and causing a pressure to form in the bottom of my throat. And then my stomach growled. Or more accurately, snarled. And so I experienced food hunger for the first time in my life. And I absolutely hated it.

My head felt a little fuzzy, whether it was from sleep deprivation or my new found hunger was debatable. One thing was certain however, if I didn't get food within the next ten minutes, I was taking the entire forest down. I stretched my legs out and rose to head over to the breakfast table that I had never before had the need to visit. I stuffed my hands in my pockets to keep from fidgeting and approached the assortment of berries and other fruits. I silently cursed myself for not paying more attention to others while they ate. How much was too much? What tasted best?

As if in response to my blundering about, my stomach once again rumbled and I felt my face heat bright red. While I battled whether I should look around to see who might have heard, Finn approached my right side. I looked to find him smiling a mischievous grin and seriously contemplated punching it right off his face. Before I could even begin to think of a retort, he had approached the table and picked up one of the hand crafted bark plates. He plucked the fruits up with an unprecedented confidence that matched everything else he did, "The red ones are sweet. The black ones have a tang to them but they're good for filling you up. Don't eat the blue ones. Just trust me on that one and don't."

My mouth was slightly ajar as he handed the full plate to me and waited for a response. This was his not so subtle way of telling me that he noticed my lack of a diet and minuscule knowledge of food. I must not have been as smooth with the nuts as I thought. I wasn't sure how strange it might have seemed to anyone else, but Finn took it in strides, "Thanks. I'll remember that."

Despite my thanks, Finn still waited. I realized he expected me to eat them in front of him. I picked a small red one and popped it into my mouth. And it was Heaven. Finn must have picked up on my bliss because his smile only widened. I proceeded to eat the entire plate in less than a minute and my fingers were soon stained with black and red juice. So I liked food. I really, really liked food.

Only after I had licked my fingers dry did I notice the flash of wonder in Finn's eyes. He was trying to figure me out. I cleared my throat and shoved the plate back into his hands, "Thanks again. I better find Clarke."

It was harsh but it worked. The mention of Clarke was enough to distract Finn from his scrutiny of my oddities and I was gone before he could recuperate. It didn't take long to find Clarke who was tending to an unfortunate boy who had managed to step on a four inch thorn.

"I saw you got your own much needed rest earlier. You must be feeling better." Clarke barely looked up from her work. It seemed that her own "much needed rest" had only had a temporary, if not completely nonexistent, effect.

"I am." And I was. I continued to mill about the camp for the rest of the day, keeping up with my resolution to contribute. It was strange to find that falling back into the menial tasks of the camp was already familiar. Occasionally I would talk with Monty or Jasper and every once and a while Clarke would stop me to check on my injuries. Finn and Raven were missing in action and Octavia had opted to sleep in and prepare for another "night of Lincoln" as she called it.

By the end of the day, I was ready to visit the secret watering hole and sink into the deep abyss of the dark water. But it wasn't to be. Octavia would most definitely be returning to Lincoln and we had already agreed to meet at the same time and place as before. As luck would have it, Bellamy had spent much of his day inside his tent, modifying and perfecting camp security measures and he now took his own turn among the night shift. We would not be able to escape the camp in the same manner as before. That's why I was currently sitting atop the now empty breakfast table, flicking specks of leftover berries off and onto the ground and watching the guards' every move.

Through very careful inspection and a good amount of snooping, I was confident that I could get us out unseen and unheard. It would only take a bit of manipulating on my part. But shortly before the time came for most of the camp to turn in, in customary Finn fashion, I was joined atop the table by the very man himself.

"You did a lot today." Finn mirrored my own cross legged position and took the liberty of clearing the space between us.

"If you say so." I was still very occupied with the guard rotations and as charming as Finn might have believed himself to be, his appeal could only get him so far.

"It would be a shame if you didn't get your proper rest tonight. Tomorrow is Unity Day after all." And with another hint that he was just as nosy and inquisitive as he was alluring, Finn left me to wonder just how much he really knew.


	26. Episode 9 Part 2

_"Eight."_

_I dug my fingers and toes into the stiff sheets below my outstretched body. _

_Anything to convince myself that I really was still there. _

_Sometimes the injections sent me into a state that I could only describe as "nothingness." In those moments, it was very hard to remember who I really was. And that was more terrifying than anything I had ever known._

_"Seven." I continued to count back from ten and it was all I could do to say it out loud. I had only gotten through three numbers and it felt like it had been an eternity. _

_Laura's recent math lesson had inspired the counting. I was six years old and I had only just learned how to count to ten, but that wasn't so strange to me then because I didn't know any better. I was quite proud of the fact that I could also count backwards and it was the only thing keeping me from going completely insane in that moment._

_"Six." I didn't dare open my eyes. The sickening glare of the fluorescent lights was enough to set my skin crawling without the threat of losing myself once again._

_Despite my efforts, I knew how it would end. No matter how hard I fought it would always happen the same way, but that didn't stop me from trying. I didn't give up willing my mind to stay grounded in it's body. And I would continue to push past the exhaustion that followed after, usually sending me into a deep sleep._

_Having finally grown past the constant pain and nausea for the first five years of my life, I was eager to fight the sleep which would soon follow the nothingness. Laura had begun to read more than her children's stories and I was finally beginning to feel like I might go somewhere. Where that some was, well I had no idea and I sure wasn't going to figure out if I was in another mini coma._

_"Five." My hands shook pitifully as I felt my hold slipping away. _

_"Four." And just like that I was gone. _

_But I wasn't._

_I swallowed hard and opened my eyes. I was still in the room. The lights flickered but their buzz didn't reach my ears. My muscles tensed and I was surprised to find that my mind seemed to still be very firmly planted in my head. _

_"Three." I continued the countdown for good measure._

_I raised from my pillows with only a small headache and moved to sit along the edge of the bed. There was no squeak of the mattress or shuffle of sheets. And most peculiarly, no beeping monitors. I stood and looked around the room. Everything was just as it always had been, machines and all. I hardly even noticed the liquid that sloshed against my feet._

_I looked down and was horrified to find water reaching just high enough to touch the top of my ankles. The ground still felt hard beneath me but the water was green and I could see what looked like mud at the bottom. The sounds of moving water brought my glare back up and my room, everything I had ever known, was gone. The cold walls were replaced with thick green trees on either side of me. In front of me lay a wide strip of water that seemed to have no end in sight._

_My gown blew against my body and I turned to face away from the intrusive wind. And that's when I saw where, not ten feet away from me, an enormous bridge sat in the water. The great arch rose so tall I had to look up and squint against the bright sky. The stones were covered in greenery, as if the plants were slowly eating it. Beyond the overpass was the same endless stretch of water._

_"Two." I didn't move an inch. Even when I saw two shadowy figures perched comfortably on top of the rocks just beneath the right supporting leg of the bridge. _

_"You're here!" A curly head of hair popped out of the darkness and bounced its way towards the edge of the rocks._

_I couldn't stop my shaking hands from grabbing the edges of my gown and bunching it up in a nervous vice. The voice belonged to a young girl around my age. Her bright blue eyes blazed along with her jumping hair. The other figure stayed sitting higher up on the rocks._

_"Am I dead?" It wasn't very far-fetched after all._

_"Of course not. You're just... Here." At that she waved around._

_"Where is here?" Perhaps I really had lost my head after all. _

_"Well you call it InBetween. I'm still working on an official name. What do you think about World of Wonder? No, that's not it. Maybe WonderWorld? Yes, that's getting closer." At my silence she continued, "Oh don't worry too much. It always comes back to you in time."_

_I turned around once more, searching for anything familiar and trying to convince myself that it wasn't real. Everything was just as vibrant and mesmerizing as before, still no room. If I had known any better, I would have surely believed that I had gone mad. But somehow, in the very souls of my feet it felt right, it all made some kind of sense in the strangest way. It felt right._

_"What comes back?" _

_"Your memories silly. Oh it's so frustrating having to go through this every time. Peter, it's your turn." The girl turned to face the other figure and I had to look very hard to see past the shadows and finally find a face. _

_He was a boy. Slightly bigger than me or the girl. Where her eyes were warm and blue, his were a striking green. Where the girl wore a gown similar to mine, the boy had a white shirt and pants on. They both shared the same dark skin and hair. _

_"Belle." His voice was young but it held something very serious just behind its youth._

_"Oh come on, she'll be fine once she knows. She always is." The boy did not respond and the girl returned to me, taking it upon herself to fill the silence once again, "You see, we're neighbors. Not here, but back in the rooms. You don't know it when you're awake, but when you sleep... Well it's not really sleep but…"_

_The boy interrupted her rambling with a hint of annoyance in his voice, "You're not telling it right."_

_"Then you do it." With a murmur and a sigh, the girl began to crawl up the rocks past the boy and towards the trees before calling back, "See you soon, Alice." I still hadn't moved._

_The boy finally rose and moved to stand exactly where the girl had been along the edge of the rocks. Then he took one step further and settled into the water, soaking the bottom of his pants. All of a sudden, the serious face was gone and he smiled with his arm stretched out towards me, "Want to hear a story?"_

My head spun as the world did the same. I felt weightless for a fraction of a second before smashing face first into the ground and sending a pile of leaves flying into the air. I struggled to control my breathing as I inhaled the wet dirt of the forest. With a huff and a rather crude choice of words, I rolled over and onto my back.

Somehow I had managed to untangle myself from the protective branches of my new napping/lookout tree while I slept. I hadn't even known that I had drifted off but the serenity of the calm night sky had managed to dissolve my worries and I was gone before I knew it. The fall was the least of my worries though, as flashes of a green bridge and a boy in white plagued my vision.

Belle had been real. I was sure of it as I felt the star shaped scar just behind my ear. But Peter. There were so many questions that I couldn't even begin to form answers for. Still in the thralls of the vision, I struggled to make connections with it all. The mysterious boy I had encountered in all of my memories of InBetween was indeed familiar. Even as I recalled the day in the fields with Monty, I now knew with certainty that those green eyes belonged to the boy named Peter.

But where did he fit into it all? Belle had said they were my neighbors. If that were true, then he was a prisoner, just like me. He wore the same white scrubs as I once had and when I tried to recall every time I had seen him, I could swear he never wore any shoes. There had been an extra door the day I tried to escape, could he have possibly been behind it? It was all too much to comprehend however, and as it had happened before, distraction found its way in the form of Octavia bounding through the trees.

"What are you doing on the ground?" Nothing could phase this girl, even as she kneeled beside me and picked several leaves from my hair. She reached for my arm and made to pull me up.

"Flying of course. Can't stick the landing yet." I realised my mistake too late as her grip released and I went falling back on my butt.

"No way. Don't mess with me on this, Alice. Are you serious?" I could see the constant pent up energy just waiting to burst out in her excitement. I helped myself up this time.

"Unfortunately no. I was taking a nap and I fell." I pointed to the tree and brushed the rest of the foliage off of my clothes.

"I can't believe you. I actually thought for a second… Anyway, I'm not giving up on the whole flying thing."

"Serafen do not fly. They fall." Lincoln emerged from behind a cluster of trees and leaned against the bark of one of the smaller ones. A small patch of sweat had begun to pool on his forehead and his breathing was slightly labored, but he kept his stance locked with determination.

"Oh I'm tired of hearing all this prophecy nonsense. She's Alice. Just Alice." Octavia distractedly moved to Lincoln's side and seemed to study him, as if she were worried he might collapse right there and then.

Their relationship had certainly grown since the night before and I could only imagine that it was just the beginning. Long after Finn had left me with his strange words, I had escorted Octavia back as promised and after a short exchange of awkward pleasantries, I left them alone to return to my tree. It was clear that Lincoln had shared all he was willing to just yet and there was no point in lingering when I wasn't needed and I myself was in much want of a solitary moment alone.

"You're doing much better. You'll be up and running in another day, I'm sure." I approached the two but kept my distance.

"Octavia is quite the healer. The supplies you brought were very helpful as well." Once again, Lincoln managed to display both gratitude and prudence in addressing me.

"Good. We should get going." I looked to the sky to find that more time had passed than I thought. I couldn't help but think of Finn and his forbearing remarks.

"I'll be back tomorrow." With a kiss on the cheek and a skip, Octavia left Lincoln and joined me in the descent to the camp.

"Don't you think a break would do us good? Bellamy will be getting suspicious once he notices that you're sleeping all day and it's only a matter of time before we're caught sneaking out." Not to mention the fact that I was suffering from lack of sleep and subsequently, so was my ability to focus and keep Octavia safe.

"Bellamy is too wrapped up in his little army to notice anything right now _and_ you found a way to get us out unseen. I know you Alice and I know you're only trying to watch out for me. But you don't have to. I memorized the way here and I can do it myself now. You should get some sleep and stop worrying. It's starting to show." Octavia patted underneath her eyes and seemed to suggest that my own were looking worse for wear.

"You must be crazy if you think I'm letting come out here alone and I'm sure Lincoln would agree. You heard him yesterday, the Grounders are searching the entire forest for him. They need answers and Lincoln is the only one who knows what happened the night I was attacked." It had been established that Lincoln planned to lie to the Grounders once they found him, and they would. We just hadn't managed to think of a very good excuse for his partner's death or my own survival.

"We might have mentioned that tonight. There may be an answer for that but I didn't think you would like it very much…" Octavia avoided my intrusive stare by looking up through the trees and into the dark sky.

"Well, go on then?" There wasn't much I wasn't willing to do to protect Lincoln or anyone else in the camp for that matter.

"Lincoln explained it this way…" Octavia paused and seemed to gather herself in preparation for her explanation, "The Grounders respect strength. They knew you had powers but if they think you are unstoppable or invincible then… Well they might stop trying to kill you and want to join you. They might even want to create an alliance with the camp as well." We were nearing the camp walls but Octavia stopped and turned to me to warrant my full attention.

"I don't know about an alliance but anything to end the death order is worth a try. How exactly do you propose we make them think I'm unstoppable. If you hadn't noticed, I am very much prone to… Incident." I could understand that strength was a valued commodity in a world so dangerous, but it didn't seem very likely that the Grounders would change their mind on me so easily.

"See that's the thing. You've been beaten down but you always survive. You're strong and you can do things that no one else can. The Grounders' belief in Serafen goes much further than parlor tricks and fairy tales. To them, you would be like a god. Lincoln believes that his people would value that. But there are a few minor details that we might have to... tweak if you will." Octavia seemed very intent on avoiding the actual answer to the question, but she did seem to truly believe what she was saying.

"Which would entail?" I was still listening.

"The other Grounder that Lincoln killed, if it had been you that took him down… And then there would be the arrows. He could say that all three hit you and you didn't even flinch. And the storm actually was you so that wouldn't be a lie. Do you see what I mean? You really would sound like a god." Octavia's voice began to rise in her frenzy and I had to shake my head to make sure I was hearing right.

"Wait a minute. You want to say I killed the Grounder? How could that possibly make things better? That might as well be starting a war. And I could never hurt anyone. I would never." I was furious at the selfishness of my thoughts. If the Grounders thought I was an invulnerable killer, they would surely fear me. The first thing that came to my mind was the way they might look at me. Like a monster.

"They're not like the Arc. It's a completely different way of life down here. Nearly everything they do is ruled by their religious beliefs. Sure if one of the 100 attacked they would retaliate, but you aren't Sky Crew to them. As much as I hate to say it, you _are_ Serafen."

I plopped down onto a protruding tree root and rubbed my temples. I would have never believed that thinking could be more exhausting than running through a forest or escaping a river monster. Octavia's points were somewhat valid, but they sounded so far fetched and desperate that it was hard to find solidarity in them.

"Sky Crew?" One question at a time.

"It's what they call us."

I could feel my resolve fading. I had no idea how much time we had left until something else went wrong and I certainly wasn't in the right state of mind to think of a better solution. The Grounders' reach was far according to Lincoln and there was no denying that I would have to face them eventually.

"You two sure did have a lot to talk about."

"Well, it wasn't all talking." Octavia's shift in emotions nearly gave me whiplash. How she could go so easily and effortlessly from survival strategy to kissing and Lincoln was far from me.

"Alright that's enough for one night." I held up my hands as if that might stop me from hearing whatever else she was about to say, "Get back to the camp and try not to sleep all day. If I'm not mistaken, Monty has a surprise for the camp later today." The statement hit me that it was already the next day.

"What about you?" At the mention of sleep, Octavia yawned and I had to strain to understand her past the noises and muffling.

"I'm going to clean up first. I won't be far behind you." I examined the dirt in my nails as I spoke. Clean would be nice.

"Whatever you say. Hey! Tomorrow is Unity Day. Find me later and I'll do your hair. It's my own little tradition!" Octavia was already through the trees before she could finish and I just sat there with my hand in my hair.

There was no point in telling her that Unity Day was not actually a tradition for me. I had only just began to comprehend the concept of holidays several days before when one of the campers had spoken of the different celebrations on the Arc. Unity Day in particular, held a certain amount of irony for me. It was a day dedicated to peace, harmony, and a past that didn't really belong to me.

Unwilling to dwell on the dangerous thoughts of things missed, I forced myself to stand and move on. More specifically, I moved on to the secret water hole. I busied myself by peeling off my now dirty clothes and setting them on the edge of the water. I refused to take off my undergarments, despite the fact that no one was around to see for several hundred feet.

The first dip into the water was enough to convince me to stay in for the rest of my short miserable life. The water was just the right amount of hot and cold and the moon's reflection almost made it look white in the darkness. The smooth liquid seeped over my injuries and caused a painfully pleasurable sensation to replace the familiar aches. I waved my hand through the water, sending ripples across the small pool.

The strange weightless feeling of the liquid reminded me of my latest revelations. In my mind, I could see the green water that ran across my feet just before I entered InBetween, but I couldn't feel the same sensations that I felt just then in the pool. It occurred to me that I shouldn't have recognized as much as I did in that visit to InBetween. I had just barely grasped the concept of numbers and counting let alone a fictional setting on Earth, which I didn't even know existed at the time. All I had ever known was the cold floors and hard walls of my room. I didn't have the mental experience, capacity or knowledge required to make up such a place by myself. I shouldn't have understood that I was standing in water, or that it was a bridge that crossed over the running rapids. Even mud was a foreign concept to me.

I learned all of this later from Laura and her device, when I was awake of course. But the fact that I had understood it in InBetween must have meant something. When I was there, it all made sense, like I had known it all along and it was just taking a while to come back to me. That was what Belle seemed to be trying to tell me anyway.

The InBetween was a place that I had visited many times before. It was a place where I knew Belle and Peter and it was a place of imagination where anything was possible. With such thoughts in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if it was all merely insanity. The product of isolation and abuse.

No. I wouldn't accept the fact that they had broken me so inconceivably. Belle and Peter were as real and fantastical as my own powers and I could prove it to myself right then and there. I stopped waving my hand in the water and let it sit with my fingers breaching the surface. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the movement of the water. I could feel it molding around me and when I raised my arm into the open air, I could feel something rise with it.

The breeze picked up just enough to chill the water droplets on my arm and I looked up. There in front of my hand was a floating ball of water. It wasn't perfectly round and water dripped from the bottom, but it was floating nonetheless. I was doing that. I laughed and felt the unmistakable bliss of my epiphany. It was significantly more easy to accept my powers when I was in control. And if I could control my powers, maybe I could control my future. All I had to do first was understand my past.

I let the water fall and submerged myself in it. My hair extended in the liquid and floated in the bright pool around me. _I will find a way. _

With renewed clarity, I rose from the water and looked into the reflection of the moon. To my surprise, I could see my face quite clearly. Octavia hadn't been lying about my eyes. They were red and dark circles had begun to form just around the lids. As sad as it looked, it did bring out the little green that was still left in my irises. The rest of my face looked slightly thinner than I remembered. If I wasn't mistaken, my hair had grown slightly longer, despite the short time that I had been awake to even notice it. There was something else that was different about the way I looked, but I couldn't quite place it.

With the tiniest sliver of light beginning to emerge from the horizon, I hastened to beat the dirt off of my clothes and dry my hair. It wasn't long before I had snuck back into camp without a sound and found a secluded area to rest myself. The nap in the tree had done little good and my eyes felt dry and heavy. It was quite a bit longer until the morning sun would fully show itself and I planned to take that opportunity to pass out.

It's strange how quickly my mind could go from hyperdrive to a complete flatline. I didn't exactly remember the moment that I finally went to sleep, but it wasn't hard to distinguish my awakening as a loud bang threw me out of my little slumber. I frantically looked around only to find that someone had accidentally dropped a crate of supplies over the entrance of the dropship. Unfortunately, I also spotted Bellamy who had apparently seen my little startle and now smirked from a distance.

"You look better." Clarke's voice tore my horrified eyes from Bellamy and I realized that she sat not too far away from me.

"I didn't realize I looked so bad before." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to look to sky to gauge how long I had been out. It must have been at least midday.

"Just tired. You've become quite popular you know. I've been fending people off all morning. I figured you could use the rest. We've both been so busy around the camp that we haven't had much time to talk to each other." Clarke herself looked a little tired. Whether it was from work, worry, or both was uncertain.

"It's kind of strange. It's been so quiet." I looked to the trees, expecting anything to jump out and punish me for such a bold statement. The quiet was always just before the storm after all.

"Enjoy it while you can. When the Arc comes down who knows what will happen." I followed Clarke's line of vision to find Finn and Raven sitting together across the camp, affectionately holding one another. Clarke was definitely distracted, otherwise she never would have said what she did and she realized it only afterwards.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… Everything will be okay when they come. We'll figure out. I haven't told my mom about you like I promised, but when I know it's safe and no one is listening, maybe I could convince her to… We're not really talking right now either but..." She was at a loss for words. I nearly laughed at my current predicament. At present, it seemed more reasonable to face the Grounders than the Arc.

"Clarke, it's okay. One thing at a time. Right now, food would be good." Damn my appetite. I would have to do some serious adjusting to my new needs. While it had provided a good distraction, I was no fan of the raging hunger that seemed to appear out of nowhere and control my every thought and move.

Clarke laughed and rose, waiting for me to follow, "I wondered when you were going to get your appetite. I don't think I've ever seen you eating? Huh." I only laughed along and conceded to the fact that I couldn't really hide anything from Clarke. She didn't have to know about the feeding tubes, however. No one had to know about those.


	27. Episode 9 Part 3

"My friends, this is an historic Unity Day." The Chancellor's face blurred and jumped across the screen as the transmission momentarily lost its signal. I could now see the similarities in this man and the boy I had known to be Wells. My heart ached once again with the memories of what had been lost. No matter how much I distrusted the Chancellor, I would not wish that grief on anyone. He did not look so stricken, however, as he continued to deliver his speech.

Of the many people wandering about, only a few had stopped to watch the broadcast which Raven had set up just outside of the drop ship. Though I was virtually clueless as to the history and politics of the Arc, it was clear that Unity Day was nothing of monumental interest to those of us on the ground.

"Every year we mark the moment our ancestors of the twelve stations joined to form the Arc, but this is the last time we do so while aboard her. Next year, on the ground." A crackle of applause followed the Chancellor's proclamation and his grin stretched from ear to ear.

My interest was momentarily peaked to hear of this small fragment of Arc history. When Laura had finally told me about the outside world, she had, in fact, told me that there had been thirteen stations in space. I had absolutely no idea why she would lie about something so menial and strange, but there was no understanding the demented mind of my caretaker.

My ponderings were passive and lackluster at best. I had enough mysteries to solve without adding the true and complete history of the Arc to my list. Perhaps I had misunderstood her. It was more likely considering the multiple drugs and treatments I had endured at the time. Nevertheless, it was easy enough to dismiss as other, more immediate, things caught my attention.

"Someone shut him up." Miller was quick to showcase his own distaste for the Chancellor and the celebration as he stood in the small crowd around the screen.

"You shut up Miller. No one's forcing you to watch." Raven also stood in the front of the group and did not hesitate to return Miller's aversion. Finn stood on the door ramp inside the ship entrance and I noticed the back his shoulders rise and fall in a chuckle.

I watched this all from my familiar old spot to the side of the drop ship entrance. Plants had begun to grow out from underneath the ship and a weapon rack had been built several feet in front of me, creating a somewhat secluded hideaway for me to sit and observe without drawing much attention. Several hours had passed since Clarke had found me and I had already worked my way through the camp and helped wherever I was needed.

"For 97 years we have eked out an existence hoping that someday our descendants would return to Earth..." Jaha droned on but he seemed to have lost what little attention he had. His rehearsed sounding words helped me to imagine that this speech, or a form of it at the very least, had been given many times before.

Clarke emerged from the ship and stood next to Finn, "Don't tell me you don't like Unity Day." Though I could not see his face, I could gather from Clarke's that he was not so enthusiastic as her.

"Unity Day is a lie. The Arc only came together after the thirteenth station was blown out of the sky. Just not the version of history we like to tell each other at parties."

So there had been another station. Laura had definitely failed to mention that it had been destroyed. As much as I hated to encourage the unnecessary inquiring, I would have to remember to ask Finn or Clarke more about the thirteenth station.

"The Unity Day story gives people hope, though. And peace came out of that violence." Clarke wasn't backing down easily. I offhandedly noticed the ease with which they were speaking. It was if the past few days hadn't happened or they had momentarily forgotten them and Raven, who was now staring at the couple with full force.

"Yeah, but did there need to be violence at all?" Finn's words implied that the destruction of the thirteenth station had been done with intention instead of accident. I would definitely need to look more into that. I would not have mistaken such an important part of Arc history, nor would Laura have failed to mention it by accident.

Clarke looked to Finn and seemed to consider his words of peace. It was then that she finally remembered who she was talking to and their current situation. With an awkward nod and a glance around the camp, Clarke left Finn.

I had to stifle a laugh of my own and ended up coughing against my hand. It was quite entertaining when I wasn't the one experiencing the unbearable tension. My failed attempt at restraining myself caused Finn to turn around and glare at me. His somewhat distraught face was quickly replaced with a smile.

"I almost didn't recognize you with your hair. It looks nice." And the normal, easy going and flirtatious Finn was back again.

I reached self consciously for my hair and smiled back. Octavia had kept her promise to braid my hair and though I hadn't gotten a chance to see it, she had nearly smothered me in her exclamations of my beauty. It had better been striking for the trouble it caused.

Whilst Octavia pulled and twisted my hair up and off of my neck, she had undoubtedly noticed the scar just behind my ear. I could give no sane explanation and thankfully, she did not pry after the slightly uneasy silence. She also did not attest as I pulled a single strand out of the updo and over the scar, but pulled several more locks down to match the messy look.

"Octavia got a hold of me. She said it was tradition."

"Huh, I've never heard of that tradition." Finn smiled knowingly and winked.

And I realized that she had completely fooled me. Octavia had lied about the "tradition" and forced me to endure her torment. All so she could do my hair and for whatever reason, I have no idea. Though I didn't exactly peg Octavia for the type to faun over hair, she had mentioned that she had been dying to get a hold of my own and she had already braided it once before while I was unconscious.

My plans for revenge were interrupted as Jasper noisily emerged from Monty's tent shouting for everyone in the forest to hear, "Woo yeah! Monty strikes again! Hey. Call this batch Unity Juice! Who's thirsty!?"

I don't think I had ever seen the campers congregate so fast as Jasper displayed the large container of liquid and began to distribute it among the crowd. So Monty had been planning his special surprise for Unity Day? It seemed that his concoctions were not uncommon to the others as they abandoned everything they were doing and fought for their own cup fill. I felt a little warm tingling in my stomach to realize that I had a part in making these desperate delinquents so happy, even if it was a small part and the happiness was only temporary.

While no one was looking, I took the chance to take my own place directly in front of the screen and focus on the Chancellor's words, "To our sons and daughters on Earth listening to this message, we will see you soon. The first Exodus ship will launch in under sixty hours, carrying you the reinforcements that you need. So stay strong, help is on the way."

How had I let myself get so close to the Arc's return and still have no solid plan or answers? Octavia's solution was dangerous and almost guaranteed to fail, but it was all I had. In less than three days, the camp would no longer be safe for me and I had nowhere else to go that the Grounders didn't inhabit or control. I needed them on my side and Lincoln seemed to think that he could make it happen. I would have to get back to him as soon as possible and with the way the campers were throwing down Monty's alcohol, it wouldn't be too hard to sneak away unnoticed.

"Octavia?" Bellamy startled me from all thoughts as he appeared out of nowhere and stood so his shoulder was brushing against mine.

I had to take a moment to return to reality and comprehend that he was referring to my hair. Who knew such a small change would garner so much attention?

"Yes."

"Our mother used to do her hair like that on Unity Day. She would save scraps for months to make her an outfit so we could have our own pageant. It was almost like everything was normal." Bellamy stared straight on to the transmission where the people of the Arc moved about in preparation for their final celebration in space.

I had never actually heard Bellamy speak of his mother with anyone else, not even Octavia. I only knew enough to know that she had been floated for keeping Octavia secret and violating Arc population control laws. From Octavia's memories, I could sense that her mother was a strong and loving woman, but circumstances had forced her to sacrifice much of her happiness. Bellamy did not know I had seen this, but he was offering something intimate nonetheless.

I also realized that Octavia had not been lying when she claimed it was a tradition. It was her tradition and she had felt the need to continue it with me. Suddenly, I was extremely proud of my new hair.

"It suits you well." My mouth instantly went dry and my face burned red. I looked up but Bellamy did not turn from the screen. His jaw muscles flexed under my stare.

"Thank you." What else could I say?

"I've been thinking about when the Arc comes down. Those people that hurt you may be a part of the Council or some of them might have known about it, but they can't all have known. There has to be some good ones. Like Clarke's mom. They took down the man that had me shoot the Chancellor and I think they could help you." Bellamy was clearly grasping at this point. He was so desperate to trust that everything would work out and I so badly wished I could have convinced myself to believe him. To follow him blindly like everyone else in the camp did.

"Maybe." It was possibly the most difficult thing I had said on Earth. It was harder than saying the truth which was that there was no way it would work out. In that word, I finally conceded to letting Bellamy and the others go.

I was beginning to suspect that my tormentors were something much bigger than the power of the Council and even the Chancellor. I couldn't know for sure if they were aware of the rooms in which I was held captive, but I did have a sinking suspicion that they were not the orchestrates. Laura and the doctor were operating on something much higher up than Arc politics and they were more threatening and powerful than Bellamy could imagine. They had already tried to cover up their mess once and I didn't doubt they would try again. That would mean everyone who knew about me - Bellamy, Octavia and Clarke - would be collateral damage. I couldn't have that.

I would speak with Lincoln in secret and find a quiet way out. He would explain to Octavia and she could then tell Clarke and Bellamy. And even though it was too early to know, I savored the idea that a successful relation with the Grounders would help the camp and the people of the Arc to assimilate with the Tree People. Octavia's growing affair with Lincoln could also bring understanding. I didn't want to get too ahead of myself just yet, but it was comforting to hope that I would not be leaving everyone to their demise.

"How many times do I have to tell you for you to believe? We will figure this out." Bellamy finally turned to face me and I mirrored his movements.

He believed his assurances wholeheartedly but there was one problem. His solution lay solely in the idea that we would all be able to stay and live in harmony. He had no idea how far the Grounder's reach stretched and he did not understand the world that I came from. I did not blame him for not knowing in the least. I only wanted what he did all the more. Because it was impossible.

"I should go find Clarke. She was looking for me earlier." I was only slightly sorry for using Clarke as an excuse.

Before I could begin to move, Bellamy grabbed my hand and clasped it inside of his warm palms, "Alice..."

_A fist slammed into my face with full force and the dark world went black. I could feel my head knock back against the ground and my neck twist farther to the right than it was supposed to. For some odd reason, the only thing that I could think was that I was wet and it was very uncomfortable._

_When the clouds finally lifted from my vision, I saw what I needed. A sharp empty bullet cartridge lay a few inches to the left of my head. It all happened so fast that I didn't realize I had done it until the warm liquid started to pool over my hands._

_Dax's face was distorted in shock and blood had already began to seep from his mouth. In that small moment that Clarke had distracted him, I had grabbed the bullet and shoved it into his neck as he crouched over me. It had gone in much easier than I thought it would. _

_Memories fragmented and I was staggering over Dax's body to Clarke. Then we were both gasping for breath against a tree._

_"My mother, if she knew what I've done. Who I am… She raised me to be better, to be good and all I do is hurt people. I'm the monster." I struggled to comprehend what had just happened. We had come for supplies and found much more. The things that the nuts had caused me to see were truly terrifying._

_A face that had lately began to consume my thoughts once again came to mind. Alice believed she was a monster. I could think of many things that she was. Strong, beautiful, kind. Monster was not on the list._

_With Alice in mind, I was reminded that I wasn't the only one Shumway wanted gone. He would have surely sent someone after her as well. The fight had managed to clear my mind of the hallucinations and I could think clearly enough to realize that I needed to find her as soon as possible._

_And I did, Clarke and I gathered up the guns and I convinced her to leave Dax's body for the moment. It was pure luck that she was exhausted enough to agree. Despite my efforts to calm myself, my heart didn't stop pounding until we had reached the camp and I had seen her face in the distance, just past the crowds gathering to see the guns. She was still alive and well. A little confused and flustered at my broken face it seemed, and she didn't look to happy to see the new weapons, but she was alive and that was all that mattered._

_I hated that my only thought was that she couldn't know I had killed Dax. I didn't want her to look at me like she feared others might see her. Her every move was clouded in fear that they would discover who she really was. I knew that she was different. I had known that all along._

"You did that thing again. What did you see?" Bellamy's thoughts turned into his voice as I was pulled out of his memories.

It took a moment for me to adjust and Bellamy was content to wait with his hands still holding mine. I couldn't help but look around. I had assumed that Bellamy wouldn't be so public with his display of warmth, but he didn't seem to care that we were out in the open. No one else seemed to mind either as they were still focused on Monty's drink.

Bellamy was searching my face for any indicator of what I might have seen and I'm sure I looked quite horrified. I was struck with the fact that I still couldn't control myself and the knowledge that Bellamy actually did care about me, despite my refusal to believe it. I also wondered what I did while I saw Bellamy's memories to give myself away. He must have recognized the same look I had in the tent when I had seen his orders to kill me.

"How did you know?" I didn't have to explain what I meant.

"You get this look in your eyes. Like you're not really here but somewhere far away." Bellamy was still very intent on keeping his hold on me. And even though every fiber of my being wanted to scramble away, it felt like he was the only thing keeping me in place.

I had to make a decision fast and it wasn't hard at all. "I saw you and Octavia on the Arc. Playing and hiding from the Guards. I saw your mom too." It wasn't entirely a lie. I had seen that, but it had been through his sister.

He studied me for a moment longer, as if he didn't completely believe it and a million questions were racing through his head. But then his features changed completely and he let go of my hand, "I want to show you something."

After grabbing a gun and slinging it across his shoulders, Bellamy led me through the camp and out of the large doors in the wall that were pushed open during the day. I was so used to sneaking out that it felt a little strange to leave the camp in the open. After I was no longer needed to bring water back for Jasper and Clarke, I had done most of my work within the walls and during daylight. The last time I had been in the forest when the sun was out had been with Monty in the fields. That hadn't ended well.

With only a look to the guards on duty, Bellamy and I were let through the entrance and into the forest.

"I'm not your responsibility you know? You should worry about yourself for once. You deserve it." I struggled to keep up with his long strides and had to stop myself from rambling on.

There were so many things I wanted to say, but I feared that I would give myself away. Bellamy would do anything short of tying me down and forcing me to stay, which on second thought, he could very well be capable of. He didn't need to know I was going to betray him and he didn't know I was lying to him once again. As much as I would like him to know that knowing about Dax hadn't changed a single thing, it was too dangerous to admit why. If both of us knew exactly how the other felt, I knew there would be no going back. My deception would only be that much worse.

I was beginning to worry as Bellamy continued to tread on in silence, "I've seen how much you've given up for Octavia. Everything you have done and sacrificed has been to help others. Maybe if you could just take a break and slow down..."

While I was focused on both talking and putting one foot in front of the other without falling flat on my face, Bellamy had stopped and turned towards me. He didn't move an inch as I slammed into his chest, but he did grab my arms to steady me, "Will you just shut up for a second. Look around." He was smiling and he used his grip on my arms to twirl me around.

I was in the middle of protesting when my breathing hitched and my sight was lit with the glowing of a thousand blue butterflies. The sky was filled with the many colors of the low hanging sun, but that wasn't what was causing the beautiful creatures to shine just like the neon plants throughout the forest. They covered several trees surrounding us and their fluttering wings caused unbelievably fascinating waves against the bark. My hand reached out of its own accord and waited for one of the insects to find its way to my fingers.

It didn't take long for one of the fluttering creatures to perch itself just on the edge of my index finger. Unlike the glowing plants before, the butterflies shine only illuminated once it touched my skin. It would have served as a formidable lantern during the dark nights. I sighed and the small disturbance sent the insect flying. I realized that I had been captivated by the bewitching sight before me for quite a while now. Bellamy had moved to my side and just like the first day on the Arc where he had looked at Octavia so affectionately, he now stared at me. It was terrifying.

"Why did you bring me here?" No matter how hard I tried to force myself to keep control, I was losing it.

"You need to know that there is more out there than suffering and frustration. There are things that are so much better and beautiful. And if you can't see them in yourself, I wanted you to see it here." I was beginning to find that Bellamy was much more of a romantic than he let on. He felt everything with the passion of someone who had once lost it, like Octavia.

"How can you say that when you know what I can do, what they did to me? You say I'm special but it's a curse. They didn't just take a normal life away from me. They took me. Everything I was or could have been. I will never leave that room because whatever they made me isn't Alice. Alice was never real. She was just a dream of someone who never truly existed." I was going down a dark hole once again. There was no use in trying to explain everything that they had stolen from me. Memories. Emotions. Freedom. Life.

"Is this real enough for you?" Bellamy grabbed my face and leaned into me. Our lips met and I fell even further. This was the exact opposite of everything I had intended. My resolutions were just as useless as my legs which were turning to mush under the feel of Bellamy's hands in my hair. The familiar smells of wood and fire filled my senses and I felt the wind pick up with the pounding of my heart, sending the butterflies swirling in a turquoise tornado.

As we finally pulled away from each other, I saw that the sea of blue bugs had moved several hundred feet away and we were now standing alone in the trees. What was I going to do with myself?

"Shumway didn't just order me to kill you. At first he wanted me to watch. After I shot the Chancellor and bought a one way ticket to Earth, I was supposed to make sure you were contained and stayed in place until the Arc arrived. That was the final part of the deal." I opened my mouth in surprise but Bellamy continued, "He said you were a high priority and top secret risk that only a few people knew about. I was only able to get enough out of him to know that you had been hidden away. And that they had done something to you. Something they didn't want anyone else to know. But the moment I saw you, I knew there was more. And I knew that I wouldn't let Shumway or anyone else that he had to do with get their hands on you." Bellamy regarded me with caution, most likely expecting me to be mad.

I could almost bring myself to be saddened by the fact that his confession did not hurt me in the least. I understood that he had done everything to protect Octavia. His questionable actions, like most times before, were driven by noble intentions. And compared to most everyone else in my life on the Arc that had used me, his transgression was menial at best. He admitted that he had long ago abandoned his promise to hold me against my will and he had tried to protect me enough times by now that I did not question his motivations. All of his offhanded comments made sense now and even his quick acceptance of my secret was understandable. Everything he had seen or watched me do was with the knowledge that I wasn't what I appeared to be, yet he had still stood behind me. I wasn't sure if that was more comforting or disturbing.

"Bellamy. There's just so much that you don't know. That even I don't know."

"Then tell me. Explain it. I can't help you if I don't know." He wasn't giving up easily.

"It's no use. It's not worth it." I wasn't worth it. I was beginning to sound like a broken record. I was surprised that Bellamy was even still trying, I would have moved on long ago if I were him.

"Damnit Alice. What do I have to do to prove to you that you're worth more than any of us?" Bellamy flexed his chin in anger, then released his fist and reached up to push the hair out of my face.

_I pushed the hair away from her closed eyes and my vision blurred red at the sight of her swollen neck. My own head was suffering from the multiple blows it had received within such a small span of time. First Dax and now Cross. I had been stupid to believe that Shumway would let Alice go without a fight. I had been keeping tabs on her all night and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. When I had finally found the time to make my way to her tent, most of the camp was already asleep. I had just barely noticed the shadow of another, much larger figure enter her tent and without rationing whether it was friend or foe, I had forced my way through the flaps and into the small space._

_My entire body stilled as I beheld Alice on the ground with Cross straddling her squirming body. In a fraction of a second, I was on him. We went rolling and I let loose the familiar rage that always sought an opportunity to present itself. In that moment, I didn't care about anything but destroying the freak. _

_Only when his struggles began to fall limp did I let up, "Did Shumway send you?"_

_"You weren't supposed to come back. He said no one would ever know." Cross gurgled through his own blood but his deranged smile only grew, "Why are you protecting her Bellamy? She's nothing."_

_Cross let his head drop to smile at Alice through his blood-stained teeth. I followed his line of vision, making sure to keep a strong hand on his chest. Alice was crumpled on the ground, fighting to regain control of her oxygen-deprived body. I doubled the pressure on Cross's chest and could see myself strangling the life out of those psychotic eyes right then and there. She tried to open her mouth and call out, but only a horrid scratching sound came out, followed by awful coughs._

_I noticed a flash of silver in the very corner of my vision but my eyes were drawn to Alice's hand, which she shakily lifted and pointed with her palm out towards the two of us still locked in a death grip. Just like in the forest with the bear. An invisible force sent me flying through the air. My body twisted and swirled gracefully as gravity did not exist for a second. And then I hit a pile of boxes and crumbled to the ground. Above the sounds of my crash, I heard a clearly distinguishable snap and then everything was silent. My first instinct was to run to Alice who lay still, several feet away, but something very disturbing blocked my path and caught my attention before I could reach her._

_Cross was in the exact same place he had been when I had pinned him down, but something was definitely wrong. His head no longer faced Alice, but was bent unnaturally at the neck and forced into the ground. Bones were protruding from the skin in a sickly sight. His neck had been broken to an almost unimaginable extent. He was dead._

_I looked to Alice who's chest rose and fell peacefully in her sleep._


	28. Public Service Announcement

Hello all! I hope everyone has been enjoying the return of Alice and with summer fast on its way, we will definitely be seeing a lot more of her. I am actually very glad that I was slow in updating because the recent revelations in the newest episodes have actually helped me to further develop my ideas. I really think you're going to like my plans for the future ;)

That being said, I have been wrestling with the urge to post this and I finally decided that I should do it. As I have said before, I am grateful for everyone who is following my story and I care enough about this community to put this out there. For those of you who are caught up with the show and the now infamous controversy in certain communities, I think you'll know what I'm talking about, but for anyone who hasn't been able to watch the newest season, I will try not to spoil anything...

All I want to say is this:

If you ever feel desperate or hopeless enough to do something drastic, there is always someone out there who cares enough to help you. I may not even know you personally but I can say, wholeheartedly, that I believe YOUR life is meaningful. As humans, we face a lot of adversity, but we must remember that we all belong to the same Earth and we're all bred from the same grain. If we want to truly bring change, it will have to be together. I know that it is sometimes hard to distinguish reality from our dreams and desires, especially when portrayals in media and culture are so prevalent and seemingly realistic, but there is more to it than that. What seems like an intentional attack could actually have multiple underlying causes such as casting conflict, etc. I am IN NO WAY agreeing or disagreeing with any one side, but I do believe that fiction is just that. The real problems are in our own hearts and we shouldn't be worried about representation in fantasy (and completely fictional, as in - not to be taken literally) shows, movies and so on. This isn't to discredit the fact that there are problems, but to emphasize finding where the cause and solution may actually lie.

All of that aside, I strongly suggest reading the following article for those who are interested or were affected by this controversy to gain a better understanding of where I'm personally coming from:

outerplaces(INSERT dot com)science-fiction/item/11481-why-the-100-made-the-right-choice-in-killing-spoiler

And at the very least, if you still don't like the way the show has developed... Well that's what fanfiction is for! :D

This is in no way meant to be offensive or distasteful and I would be glad to address any questions or concerns regarding this issue. However, I do ask that we keep a respectful conversation and respect each others opinions.

Love,

A Friend


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